Thanks for the kind words. At the moment I feel nothing but grief and dispair with all the doors around me closed. I feel as if not even the Angels are hearing me anymore. I cannot talk to him. Any attempt to talk brings only hateful words that wound me even more. If there was a reason for it, I could understand, but I gave love, tolerance, compassion and kindness, he gave selfishness, intolerance and anger. But do you think I could break away? No, I could not. And now that he has finally realised that he has failed miserable at the marriage - and believe me he does not want to let go of his selfish ways - he blames me as my softness makes him see me as a whimp that deserves to be despised. He apparently fell out of love with me because I am "pathetic and needy". Even my tears at losing him are used to taunt me as being weak and pathetic. All of which are so untrue. I am a strong and successful woman and I know and believe that joy is my destiny and love is my birthright - but why can I not find alternative accommodation if I am supposed to lose/leave him? Why am I suddenly in financial trouble and cannot afford a new place of my own where I could go to heal? I am forced to live in a house where I am hated and unwelcome and never am I allowed to forget for a minute that he cannot wait to be rid of me.

As you say, somewhere must be a gift and I am grateful for that ... I know I must leave but practicalities keep me here. Plus, a medium working with Angels told met I have to stay which is why the doors are closed - it is a sacred contract. But I just don't know how much more I must endure for the sake of someone else's lesson (the medium did say it was his lesson.)

Sorry to blurt it all out, I don't expect you to have answers. I am just grateful for the opportunity to unload my pain without being judged. You can imagine how I am being judged by friends and family for still being here ...

Thanks for the big hug - I am running rather low on those at the moment!

Catie