I am new to spirit library, and found your letter very helpful, as I am struggling at the moment. While I personally would not commit suicide because of my family, I do know that feeling of seeking and not finding. I am trying to get there and work through this, but other times I feel I need to be on medication again. I do not know how to let go of my ego and find God inside me, though all my seeking keeps pointing in that direction. How do I get there??? Do I just keep seeking and waiting?