Do I believe that? hmmmmmm

I so want to... I want that to be deep in my being. I want to live my life in unity not duality. And I am opening out to what's possible.

I have been listening to Crimson Circle...I hear the messages;they make sense; they feel right and yet I am still questioning whether these beings exist whilst feeling chaos and emergence..

I have been teaching people for ten years... opening them out at a 101 level through the medium of flirting weekends, designed to help people build confidence, have more fun, connect and communicate. It is a lovely weekend. But it is publicised under the concept of of finding love OUTSIDE. They come because they want to find love outside themselves and I take them inside... And there's a conflict.. the cover is not the book..

Is this important? I feel so and wonder if it is my ego wanting to be seen to be or whether I am truly finding the energy of what I promoted to be NOT ME..

And all the time I am knowing this is my journey too... the teaching is part of my evolution... I have to evolve through experience to teach.

I feel as if I am in chaos right now. I have let slide my work, lost interest in most of what I did, the whole glitz and the game.. I have not found the energy to get into internet marketing... because I don't want to promote what feels like 'old energy'.

Many people try to convince me to brand and capitalise on this image flirtcoach, I've tried, to redesign my website, write e-books and it doesn't come. It is not right.

I feel I am having a challenging experience, akin to many others yet mine alone, recognising the fear of lack when the work died off... I have fed in the pools of victimhood and pulled myself out...

I am working on something around people patterns right now. This is a new 101 entry point to what I feel called to teach.... people get to know themselves, get to understand their personality and then get to go deeper and beyond the personality...

And I feel good to be here writing this. I have spent the entire morning connecting with this spirit energy listening and searching... and it's been building.

And so...here I am... and there you are and here we are...
What a joy that is to experience it as one whole..tasted in glimpses
and what a journey...to feel it as a way of being..

I am hopeful, scared, wobbly and searching and here I am and there you are reading this..
thank you.

with love
peta