We alternating between periods of breakneck speed transformation and achingly slow gaps of stillness, moving between trying to keep up with the changes that are being thrust on us to being stopped in our tracks. In the fast periods we focus on movement and doing what we need to in order to stay focused and grounded. And in the slow periods we are challenged to also stay grounded and address whatever is presented to us until the next period of movement.
Like many of you, I have felt the energies of Saturday's eclipse building for several weeks. And they have been challenging at best, including physical and emotional symptoms that have left me exhausted, drained and confused. At times I feel like I am exploring a cave deep underground, wondering what treasures I'm going to find and at each turn, finding yet another tunnel that leads me in a new direction that is farther, it feels, from where I want to be. And my only light is a strobe light, which reveals only part of what I need to see. With this eclipse a lot of energies were released but now what?
It hardly seems possible that just a few months ago we were talking about the Fall Equinox (spring for those in the southern hemisphere) and now we're at the Winter (or Summer) Solstice. We also finally ended Mercury retrograde (that was a relief) although its shadow period lasts until Dec. 31, and we celebrate Christmas this week and a powerful new moon. This has been the case the last few months, where everything happens at once as we prepare for our next big event, which is the beginning of 2012
It is now the month of November and I can't believe how quickly October flew by. This year will be over soon and we will be finished with a significant part of our global transformation. November brings more opportunities for closure and expansion, as we had in October but with a new and different twist, this time we are going through lessons of value. What do we value, how do we value others, what value do we place on ourselves and what is of value to us are all themes for November.
We have been healers and seen ourselves as healers for so long that we do not know what to do next. What are we doing if we are not healing? What do we do with our energy if we are not applying it to healing?
This year has been relentless as far as clearing energies, making peace with our current and karmic past (which are intertwined), releasing things that do not serve us and basically doing an energetic house cleaning that is long overdue. We have made a collective commitment to ascend, the desire and will are there but the process has been much harder than we thought.
We spend our lives wanting to know the truth because, as we are told, 'the truth shall set us free.' But as we search for the truth we begin to see that there is not a single truth, everyone has a different version of the truth and even in our own lives, that which we think of as true can change many times. So what is true and what is not true? If a truth changes, was it ever true in the first place? Will we ever know the truth? And when we know the truth, what happens to everything else we have known up to that time?
It's hard to believe that it's September and we are entering a new energetic phase as we approach the end of 2011. Since the Spring Equinox in March we've experienced so many changes and have endured big energy downloads, high solar activity, record heat and rain, floods, earthquakes - all while we approach the end of the Mayan calendar (which actually ends on October 28, 2011) and 2012, a time many think heralds the end of the world (it doesn't). The Equinox is the earth's reminder that balance is part of the natural cycles of life and it's time to integrate our growth and align ourselves with what we have learned.
Dear Jennifer: I have been diligently cutting cords and releasing members of my soul group. These have been very painful relationships and I realize that by embodying the martyred healer paradigm I have been stuck in healing cycles for many years. Now I’m ready to let that go and to become more powerful and purposeful in my life. The problem is that everyone I have cut cords with has stopped talking to me and my children won’t even let me see my grandchildren. Have I done something wrong?
The journey of 2012 will be one that we will remember in many ways. For everyone, it will be an awakening into their greater potential but in ways that may not always be remembered as fun, pleasant or positive. Ascension is a promise and we are its fulfillment. How we fulfill it is the path we must decide on now. And as we say farewell to three months of emotional and spiritual dredging, we step into four months of deciding what we are going to do with what we have learned.