We have been healers and seen ourselves as healers for so long that we do not know what to do next. What are we doing if we are not healing? What do we do with our energy if we are not applying it to healing?
We alternating between periods of breakneck speed transformation and achingly slow gaps of stillness, moving between trying to keep up with the changes that are being thrust on us to being stopped in our tracks. In the fast periods we focus on movement and doing what we need to in order to stay focused and grounded. And in the slow periods we are challenged to also stay grounded and address whatever is presented to us until the next period of movement.
Dear Jennifer: I have been diligently cutting cords and releasing members of my soul group. These have been very painful relationships and I realize that by embodying the martyred healer paradigm I have been stuck in healing cycles for many years. Now I’m ready to let that go and to become more powerful and purposeful in my life. The problem is that everyone I have cut cords with has stopped talking to me and my children won’t even let me see my grandchildren. Have I done something wrong?
We spend our lives wanting to know the truth because, as we are told, 'the truth shall set us free.' But as we search for the truth we begin to see that there is not a single truth, everyone has a different version of the truth and even in our own lives, that which we think of as true can change many times. So what is true and what is not true? If a truth changes, was it ever true in the first place? Will we ever know the truth? And when we know the truth, what happens to everything else we have known up to that time?
What do you do when you try hard to please someone and no matter what you do they refuse to see things your way or to compromise with their position? They want their way, no matter what and they want you to honor their path, fears and needs no matter how much it costs you in terms of time, energy, or emotions. You are at an impasse and you have to make a choice that you don't want to make-to tell them 'no', and then deal with the consequences of their anger, do what they ask and then be angry with yourself or walk away and risk that they will cut you out of their life (which may actually be a good thing).
We can live passively-waiting for things to happen or to get better, or actively-using our manifestation abilities to create the reality that we want in the next moment, no matter what appears to be happening in this one. Our life can be one of active abundance, where we are in a constant state of receiving effortless miracles every day, or passive abundance, where we seem to get what we want after a great deal of difficulty, at the last minute, receiving much of what we do not want or nothing at all.
Like many of you, I have felt the energies of Saturday's eclipse building for several weeks. And they have been challenging at best, including physical and emotional symptoms that have left me exhausted, drained and confused. At times I feel like I am exploring a cave deep underground, wondering what treasures I'm going to find and at each turn, finding yet another tunnel that leads me in a new direction that is farther, it feels, from where I want to be. And my only light is a strobe light, which reveals only part of what I need to see. With this eclipse a lot of energies were released but now what?
It's hard to believe that it's September and we are entering a new energetic phase as we approach the end of 2011. Since the Spring Equinox in March we've experienced so many changes and have endured big energy downloads, high solar activity, record heat and rain, floods, earthquakes - all while we approach the end of the Mayan calendar (which actually ends on October 28, 2011) and 2012, a time many think heralds the end of the world (it doesn't). The Equinox is the earth's reminder that balance is part of the natural cycles of life and it's time to integrate our growth and align ourselves with what we have learned.