You and God are One

In this moment in time I feel scared, I dont want to be but I live in christchurch New Zealand & have become afraid of dying in a quake. I so much want to see this year through but feel something tragic is going to happen. Maybe I need help but a sense of something devestating is going to happen I dont want to leave this life yet

In a world of 7 billion people I remain alone, isolated, exhausted. In many ways I would like to die, and perhaps I am. I've faced myself and my daemons. I've made tremendously hard decisions and blown up my life in ways most people are scared to. I knew I had too. It feels like a prison now. A prison without even guards. I did it all to find my truth, to find peace and happiness because I knew where I was was wrong and as well was a prison. I would not go back and I am grateful for the freedom I do have but I am tired and alone. A piece of me knows this is all about finding love within myself. About knowing I am God. I know my ego is dying. I just wish it would give up and go. I am ready for separateness to end. I just want it to end.

awalton, studing alchemy has helped me understand the process of transformation. If it was not for the guidance of the ancients I would have considered myself to totally insane and given up a long time ago. I have wanted to die for a long time, have not found any value in my world which has been void of meaning. It has been like wondering in a great void without hope. The ancients wrote about the rise of the Phoenix so you know it will eventually come, but while we go through the distillation process it is hard to believe. The distillation is tough, we face our darkness, our fears, the projections of our shadows, we have to learn to love ourselves even when we are at our absolute worst and when everyone else turns their back on us. I think I am almost ready to come back to life. The few things that I think have enabled me to get through the last couple of years has been solitude in a national forest where the energies are pure, good music, my dogs who love me unconditionally, and most of all my connection to my Higher Self and God. Reach to the Source where there is peace and love

Short, sweet and to the point. Thank you Jennifer. That's the whole reason for this journey

Dear friends who are struggling: relax, breathe, know. That's all we've got and it's everything. We're in this together.

Just related my day's events to a friend with the request that she not get all pushed out of shape because of something that might seem unfair, something that might seem too heavy for me to carry. Asked her to feel fine because everybody feeling fine makes the world feel fine, and that way we get through this.

Thanks for this message. I've returned multiple times to sit with it.