Guest: I have a personal question about developing the ability to let go of things from the past. I can see that my now is colored by all of these things. And it's difficult for me not to constantly remind myself that I missed out on this or that.
Abraham: Well, that is logical, isn't it? Because that's where your vibration is, it's logical that you would be reminded of things like that.
We have a fun way of looking at it: Let's say you have a piece of very fine sandpaper, and you rub it with your fingers. It is so fine that at first, it feels almost like velvet. So you rub it a little more, and a little more, and a little more...
In the beginning, there is no detriment to this experience. But the longer you rub it, the more unpleasant it becomes. Your skin is beginning to feel some sensitivity--and after an hour or two, maybe even some beginnings of blisters. Yet sometimes, that sandpaper is really the only thing visible in the room. And even though the experience is not very pleasant, you've got this habit going.
Then, all of a sudden, you realize "Hey, I don't have to do this!" and you simply lift your fingers up off the sandpaper!
This is a deliberate intent to remove yourself from this irritation. The sensation of lifting up is wonderful. As you lift off, it almost feels like spider webs pulling from your fingers. We want you to begin reaching for that ensuing sense of relief.
You've had your eye on this sandpaper. It seemed justified, it seemed important. People talked to you about it, there's evidence of it in your life, and everything seems to be somehow about sandpaper. But in reality, there is it, and there is the absence of it, and you do have a choice of whether or not to lift your fingers--your thoughts, that is--off of what is evoking this unpleasant experience.
Begin to take pleasure in feeling relief from it.
Have you ever been in the middle of a negative conversation when someone tried to change the subject to something that felt positive? You didn't necessarily want them to change the subject--you had some good juices flowing about that topic! But they persevered, because they had decided they were going to lift away from it.
And so, you went with them in the different conversation, and stayed there for a moment. Then you, too, began to feel relief. We want you to get hooked on asking, "Which thought feels better?" Let the feeling of relief become what is most important to you.
We want you to say, "I am practicing the art of letting in Well-being. The art of keeping out, or the art of resistance--that may be the art of Ôreality' that I've always practiced. That may be the way my mother does it, and my sister does it, and the way that everybody that I know does it. Keeping it out may be the art they're all practicing--but I'm practicing the art of letting it in. I'm lifting off of my discomfort and, in so doing, letting fresh Energy flow into my experience."
When we talk about Deliberate Creation, we can feel some of you thinking, "I must constantly hold my thoughts rigidly in better places." And we hear you dictating to one another, chastising one another: "Now, you know that's not what Abraham teaches." And we say, "And that's not what Abraham teaches, either!" (Abraham smiles)
We encourage the art of Allowing--the art of letting it in. The tricky thing is that sometimes, even though this sandpaper is not pleasant and can get really unpleasant, the key is in developing a more sensitive awareness.
We don't know many of you who would rub your hand until it is bloody. Yet, that's the way you tend to handle some not-good-feeling subjects. You rub yourself all over them, until you have so severely disallowed Well-being that negativity begins showing up in your life experience in different ways.
We want to get your attention, by saying that no matter how bad that reality was and no matter how justified it may seem to be, none of it needs to have anything to do with your now. The only question we want to ask--and the only question we ever want you to try to answer, ever again--is, "Am I letting in Well-being right now? Does this thought let it in? Does this memory let it in? Does this statement let it in? Does this discussion let it in? Does this fantasy let it in? Am I letting it in?"
When you begin to focus upon this "lifting off," you discover a whole lot of things you habitually think about, that are not letting it in. And as you start playing with this, you'll start having fun with it. Perhaps you'll make a button or a bumper sticker: "Are you letting it in?"
Are you letting what in? Are you letting in the Well-being that would be there if you weren't letting it in? Are you letting it in? "Well," you ask, "how do I know if I'm letting Well-being in?" If you are letting it in, then right now you feel great--you feel appreciation or love. If you're letting it in you will feel good--but if you're not letting it in, you won't feel good. Nothing else has any bearing. Well-being has to be important enough that you let it in. So you say, "Abraham, when I reflect back, 99% of my life doesn't let it in." Well, we say, then don't think about that. How can you not think about 99% of your life? Selectively sift your way through it. If you look back with enough intent, you can find something--within every aspect of every part of it--that would let it in.
To assist you in lifting off from some of those thoughts that don't feel so good, we'll give you some good words to begin: "Oh, it doesn't matter. That's not important." In other words, if you find yourself wanting to harp on something that happened, say, "Oh, that doesn't matter."
At the heart of it is, you have felt yourself competing--for goodness, against badness, for approvalÉ You want, so much, to be in the right place, and you have been sorting out all those piles. You've come to lots of conclusions about what's right or what's wrong, and then you defend your opinion, almost to the death.
So, when something begins to turn out the way you prophesied it would, part of you wants to say, "See, I told you! I knew that!" If it didn't feel good when you knew it, and it doesn't feel good now while you examine it--then you're just using it as a current reason not to let Well-being in.
And so, when you hear unpleasant things, the new words we encourage you to offer are, "Oh, that doesn't matter." Say, "There isn't anything worth pushing against and using as my excuse for not letting it in."
As Esther will say to Jerry, "I knew it was going to turn out this way, I saw it coming, and now look at the manifestation of this." When he looks back at her blankly, as if to say, "This doesn't matter," then she has nothing to go on. If he defended himself even a little, then she'd have something to build on.
It's sort of like fighting with a pillow. When you slug it, it just remains a pillow, and you lose your enthusiasm for the fight. And so, what you want to do is be a "pillow" to yourself, and to others. "It doesn't matter. That was then, this is now." You will defuse the past and, little by little, you will leave it all behind.
We wanted to talk with you about letting go because you are pointedly speaking about what so many are living and feeling. When you wanted to come here, what was on your mind?
Guest: I had been recognizing that things missing or unpleasant in my childhood experience were now coloring my adult life in a way that doesn't match with what I want.
Abraham: From the broader perspective of what you intended, everything was exactly the way you thought would be of greatest value. You are actually saying--and part of you is believing--"Had things been different for me as a child, I would have developed different patterns of thought, and now I'd be in a different place." And we say, that contrast was important for the launching of the desire within you now, and that's all that matters. Do you believe that your childhood deprived you of fulfilling some of your desires then?
Guest: Not really. I believe that those early experiences shaped me into the person I am today. But now, I need a new shaping!
Abraham: You--and a lot of others--are feeling inadequate about where you are now, wanting to blame, who knows what, for your being there. We're saying to you that it does not matter how you got here, or how long you've been here. The only thing that matters is how you feel--because the Universe is responding to how you feel right now. And you cannot change the way you feel by condemning all of the things that got you here.
That's why we say it's better to just lift off from it. Easier said than done, we know, but there is something to be said for the feeling of relief in, "Oh, it doesn't matter."
You hit upon the very key of what this moment in time is really about when you said you were fussing over the past experiences that shaped you. And we say, You are the vibrational offerer that you are, only because you haven't chosen to lift off. You have so much more power right here in the now. You could pet your cat, go to a concert, you could focus here, there, or in a million different directions--and you could stand in a different place of letting it in.
What is "shaping"? Shaping is the habit of thought that you picked up along your physical trail. And we say, never mind the reason. Just know that from wherever you stand, you can reach and reach and reach--and you can lift off.
Non-Physical Energies, flooding to you and through you, do not say, "We're not flowing because of that thing you did when you were twelve. And we're not flowing to you because you learned bad habits then." The Universe is responding to you right here, and right now. Right here and now, you have enormous power--to laugh or to cry, to reach for thoughts that feel better. You have the power to ignore a subject altogether and pet your cat.
You have the power, right now, to let it in. If you want, badly enough, to let Well-being in, you have the power to let it in right now. Anything you've lived before has far, far less to do with letting it in right now, than any of you allow yourself believe.
We offer some "mantras" for you: It doesn't matter. It doesn't make any difference. No big deal. I didn't like that, but so what? What happened was really unfair, but it doesn't matter now. That doesn't have anything to do with where I am now. It really doesn't matter.
That is about then. You don't know what the vibrations were, back then, much less what the surrounding circumstances were. You couldn't possibly go back and sort out why everybody was behaving the way they were. Even if you could, that has really nothing to do with now--unless it may have shaped you to be clear about what you currently want.
Can you feel the defusing power of those words to help you lift off? Doesn't really matter. What does matter is, right now, am I letting in Well-being? When you're letting it in, you feel clarity, vitality, enthusiasm, and eagerness.
"Well," you say, "those are pretty strong emotions. What if I'm not feeling any of them?" We say, just reach for something that once made you feel eager, or appreciative or enthusiastic. Hold it as the object of your attention.
This is how to create from the inside out: Remove yourself from the thought process a little bit--and reach more for the feeling.
That's why we use this sandpaper analogy: You can actually feel the relief of lifting up off of something irritating. And when you do, you're letting it in.
That's why quantum leaps sometimes work--because the contrast in your lives causes very strong focused desire, helping you find a way to lift off of the resistance. And now, suddenly, you're vibrationally in harmony with something very different from just a little while ago.
Be easy about it, and more playful. Try to release words like struggle, as in "The struggle I'm having." Put it in the past tense: "The struggle I used to have, which I don't have as much any more." Can you sense how better that feels?
Esther used to begin many sentences with, "Well, I used to think--" And we would ask, What do you think now?
What is your now-thought? "I'm more powerful than I ever knew." What now-conclusions have you come to? "Universal Energy is flowing to me and through me." Other now-conclusions? "Non-Physical Energy is aware of me, and everything I've ever wanted is being offered to me--if only I will simply let it in. "Nothing past has anything to do with anything in my present, except how I allow it in, right now. The past has nothing to do with my current Allowing. Either I'm letting it all in, or I'm not. Either I'm feeling good now, or I'm not."
You're not feeling so good? It doesn't matter.
"That doesn't matter, that doesn't really matter."
Well, look over there. "That feels better . . . "
Good! Now you're letting it in!