Would Your Rather Be Happy or Right?

Hi Dear Friends,

Today the angels talk about an age-old dilemma. Would you rather be right or happy? They suggest happy of course and share some soul-freeing thoughts on the subject! I'll talk about how to start disentangling from that not-so-fun need to be right so you can choose joy rather than righteousness, even if you are actually, factually right!

Love you all!

♥ Ann

Message from the Angels

My dear friends, we love you so very much,

As you earth continues to rebirth itself we wish for you an awareness of your incredible freedom. Each one of you regardless of external circumstances is free to tune your energy to attract and allow the life you want. When you focus, in your inner world, on the things that you appreciate and give you joy, on the people you resonate with, the causes you admire, in this joyous space of thinking about what makes you happy and inspires you, you begin to draw it to you.

You have, however, been taught to place an inordinate amount of focus on the external world. We know you must focus on the external when it must be dealt with and we celebrate your focus upon all that you enjoy within it. However, if you start to think of your life force – your attention and energy – as your most precious resources, then you will start to become a bit more discerning about how you use your focus.

One of the things that robs you most of your precious life force is judging yourself or others, resisting yourself or others, making yourself or others wrong (even if you/they are!), and focusing on what you don't like in yourself or others, instead of focusing on what you do like about others, and best of all, what is right inside of you.

If you were the thumb on a person's hand you'd never make yourself wrong or insist that the pinkie agree with your perspective! You wouldn't be jealous of the jewelry on the ring finger, or upset that the pointer finger gets more attention. As a thumb, you'd know that you had a special place, perspective and purpose. You'd revel in the fact that you help grasp and move objects. You'd take pride in the fact that your person uses you to hit the space bar on the computer and type on their phones. You'd understand that each of the other fingers had their place and purpose too, in spite of the fact, or rather because of the fact that they are different. None of the fingers need agree with each other's place, perspective, and purpose. The hand – the greater Self – is always guiding them to work in harmony, just as the body is guiding both hands.

Likewise you don't have to agree with anyone. You don't have to insist that your perspective should be right for them. And you don't have to agree with others who insist that their perspective is right for you. There's no need to argue or agree. You have a right to be you! Listen if you must but just keep being your sweet, wonderful self!

Everyone, including you has an inner "hot line to the Divine" because the Divine IS your greater self, and the Divine wants everyone to live in a harmonious dance whether that means living and working together physically as the heart and the nerves do, or moving apart on your own paths as many cells in the body must in order to function according to their own design. You would not find the bone in the heart or the heart in the bones, for example.

If you listen to yourself and do what feels best in a given moment, you will find your place among those who are resonant and – naturally, easily, without judgment, argument, or the need to be right – you will naturally move away from those who do not resonate. It really can be that simple. The universe was designed to be that simple.

When you look at nature, you see the absolute perfection of each part of an ecosystem. You can also see the complete absurdity of imagining that one part of nature would insist that its way is right for another. Would a bird insist that a fish must fly? Would a tree insist that the moss must climb to the heavens? Would a rock insist it must roll instead of being content in its purpose of holding the soil in place? Would you make the bugs wrong for their existence? If you did you'd have to eradicate the birds that eat them, the forests that the birds seed, and the air that the forests produce for your life and lungs, and as a result your own life. Everything, every little, tiny part of creation, has purpose and value.

So do you!

As you surrender to this very basic fact of existence, you stop struggling with life. You find freedom, joy, and a flow of grace that guides you easily towards your desires. In a higher vibration wherein you accept – even if you don't understand – the perfection of life's dance, you avoid becoming entangled in the very common, unpleasant disagreements that seem to be part of human life. The all-too-common dance of "I'm right/You're wrong, I'm right/Life's wrong, I'm wrong/Nothing's right," and so on, has never truly made anyone happy.

You can be right about others being wrong, but that will never make you happy.

You can be right about life being wrong, but that will only drag you down.

You can be right about yourself being wrong, but obsessing about your so-called flaws or mistakes will never allow you the growth that makes you feel better.

The only thing that truly makes you feel alright is to realize that all human beings are all right for their own soul's own growth and expansion.

So how to feel right when life feels wrong? How to feel right when you feel others are wrong? How to feel right when you feel wrong? It is actually not so hard at all dear ones. Just ask yourself a question many of you have heard many times...

Would I rather be right or would I rather be happy?

If you answer, I'd rather be right!" gently ask yourself, "Why?" Why do you want to be right? Isn't the ultimate goal of being right, being happy? You tell yourself you'll be happy if another acknowledges that you're right. You'll be satisfied if life conforms to your expectations. You'll be happy if you're perfect according to the standards that were programmed into you before you even had a choice to believe them. Is that true dear one?

Question yourself deeply. Do you really think you'll be happy if someone who hurt you suffers? Dig deeper? Wouldn't you rather just let them go, free yourself of the burdens they heaped upon you, and be happy now?

If you wait for the external world to conform before you choose happiness, you could wait for lifetimes.

Being "right" is deeply ingrained in the human psyche. You have been trained to feel as if your very worth, identity, and being is threatened if you are "wrong" yet nothing can invalidate your worth in the eyes of your creator. Nothing can invalidate the precious, perfect, and unique role that you play in all of creation.

Your ego can feel threatened, but your soul, your creator and your angels all know your value. Best of all, when you truly embrace your value, independent of external validation, you will attract people and situations that easily mirror it back to you. Until then, if you hold on to a need to be right and for others to agree, you will likely receive struggle in return.

For example, if you are stuck in traffic, you can blame the cars in front of you. You may be right. You can blame yourself for starting late. You may be right. You can blame the city streets for not having enough lanes. You may be right. You can honk your horn and the cars in front of you will honk back. The situation can become more unpleasant. Or you can stop blaming and say, "Here I am. I can't change it. I may be late. So be it. How can I enjoy this moment in time?" You could turn on the radio. You could pray for everyone in traffic. You could sit and think about everyone and anyone you love... and in choosing any of these options, you can be happy!

Perhaps you have been the subject of unkind or abusive behavior. You can certainly blame the abuser and you may well be right. You can blame yourself for getting into a bad situation. You may be right You can blame the world and its programming, and you may be right. You can focus on the injustice and therefore attract more injustice to you. The Divine is always trying to guide you towards a more loving experience of life, but there are many in this world who will willingly match this kind of focus.

Wouldn't you rather be happy? Wouldn't you rather focus on how far you've grown, how much different you are from the people that hurt you, where you are going in your future, how strong you are, and all the good in your life now? Wouldn't you rather stop giving those who were unkind to you your power, and reclaim your joy? It is up to you dear friends. It is a choice to focus upon that which makes you feel better.

We know you have been deeply immersed in conditioning that subtly teaches you that you that being right is a higher priority than being happy. Question this often throughout your day. Anytime you feel yourself justifying your own unhappiness, ask, "Would I rather be right about why I'm unhappy – even if I am right – or would I rather be happy?" Then, if you want to feel better, choose better feeling thoughts, one thought at a time.

Far from "letting others get away" with something, or becoming a "doormat" your vibrational frequency of joy will attract kinder others, shine a light upon and reveal untruths, and guide you along a path of ease and grace!

If you truly choose to elevate your vibration by letting go of the dance of right/wrong, and trusting in the vibrational universe to draw like unto like, then dear ones, you will tune into greater happiness. In doing so, you release the people and situations you feel are "wrong" and let them spiral off along their way, while you proceed along the path that is "happy" and therefore ultimately most "right" for you!

God Bless You! We love you so very much.
-- The Angels

Message from Ann...

Hi Everyone,

Like many of us, I was born, brewed, and steeped in the mentality of right and wrong. My Polish grandma, whom I adored, often used the phrase, "Our people," as if being Polish made one superior. My brother and I cringed when we heard that, knowing that being Polish also made us the butt of a plethora of "stupid Polish" jokes at school. Talk about differing perspectives! Who was right? Honestly, neither perspective felt right. Something in our young minds told us everyone was equally valuable. I loved all my friends, no matter what their color or ethnicity.

Likewise, my dad is a brilliant scientist and in his paradigm, being right meant being able to prove something. I'll never forget, as an adult, the conversation where we realized that we simply looked at life from different angels, and that we were both right within our own paradigms! Seems obvious now, but it took years to get there. Our conversations deepened. I shared my feelings and mystical perspectives without justifying them with rationale proof. He shared the scientific universe with me and no surprise, as we learned to value our own and one another's perspectives in balance, we deepened each other's understandings of both science and spirit.

Although I would have argued this earlier in my life (since I always had to be right) I really believe now that the root of most unhappiness lies in the need to be right. We want to be right about our point of view, our politics, our ways of life, our looks, our stories, our victimization, our abandonment, betrayal, our diet, our beliefs, you name it! Often we are "right" in terms of being factually accurate, or at least right for ourselves, but so what if it doesn't make us happy?

I used to be willing to argue something to the death if I felt factually accurate, or at least reasonably valid in my beliefs. It never came to a good end. I just attracted others who wanted to argue and be right! When I was younger and focused on being factually "right" about an abusive ex-boyfriend, I attracted another one that made me feel more "right" about being a magnet for this type of individual. I was right! And I wasn't happy. When I was focused on being "betrayed" by people who were simply trying not to betray themselves, I attracted more. When I focused on the "jerks in traffic" they came out of the woodwork to tailgate me. I had to admit, humorously, after years of focusing on what I didn't want that I was a powerful focuser!

What a JOY it was to realize I could focus on things wanted instead of things unwanted! What a deep and profound realization to know that I could detach from past/present "reality" and instead focus on my inner world until it showed up in my outer. What a monumental freedom it was to realize I didn't have to be unhappy just because I was "right" about unhappy circumstances around me.

I may feel "right" saying that injuring my knee in the middle of spring hiking season was "wrong,' but so what! Focusing on that doesn't make me happy. Instead I focus on the wonderful adjustment I got, how it allowed me to focus on my new garden, and how quickly it is healing. As a result I've had almost no pain, I get around fine, and I feel blessed.

I may feel "right" about healing suggestions I can offer people I love, but if their paradigm is different than mine, it is far happier and more loving to support their choices, and simply share what has worked for me without attachment. We are both happier with this loving interchange.

I may know what is right for my life and others may not agree. I have to be OK letting people judge and criticize me. I am "right" with the Divine within, and I'm far happier focusing on that than insisting on being "right" about them being "wrong" for making me wrong! What a tangled mess that can be. I like the clarity of simply focusing on what I enjoy.

I have retrained myself to choose being happy... again and again!

It isn't always easy to shift the paradigm away from "right" towards "happy." There are still times I catch myself resisting my own joy. As soon as I realize I'm doing this, I take myself to my room (literally!), sit down, call in the angels, surround myself with light, get out the journal and write one better feeling thought at a time until I rise above the mental struggle back to joy.

Here are a few pointers to help you choose being happy over being right...

1. Begin with awareness - Catch yourself in the act

Shifting a behavior starts with awareness. Anytime you feel unhappy, ask yourself, "What am I trying to be right about right now?" Are you trying to be right about why you feel bad? Are you being right about another being wrong? Are you being right about a situation?

You may actually, factually be right. It doesn't matter. Just notice when you're unhappy about something and ask yourself, "What am I trying to be right about right now? Does it make me happy?"

For example my big computer broke down a few weeks ago. I was factually right about the fact that this is a big inconvenience and took a lot of extra hours out of my day to manage my client interactions, emails, newsletters, accounting, etc., with other devices. But focusing on being "right" about how hard that was didn't make me feel good! Instead I focused on counting my blessings, and the fact that most everyone will forgive me for being off social media for a few weeks (and it was a nice breather!). I focused on the fact that I could still do my business, that I have wonderful genius repair guys that fixed it. I celebrated its return by cleaning up the cord jungle under the desk. Those thoughts felt happy.

For starters, just notice when you're trying to be right. Don't make yourself wrong for it! You may actually, factually be right! Just become aware of whether or not this focus on being right makes you happy or not.

2. Ask yourself, "Am I willing to give up my focus on being right in order to be happy?

This is the million dollar question! You may not be willing to give up the focus on being right (especially if you are!) and instead choose happiness. If not, stop reading this, don't push yourself beyond where you want to go now, and just allow yourself to be right for you. There's no judgment in heaven. You are loved no matter what you choose.

If you are still reading, then take a breath. Ask yourself, "What might be a happier focus?" Maybe you can re-frame the present situation, but if not, you can focus on all the other good and beautiful things and people in your life. You can look at the silver lining in the present situation. You can congratulate yourself for wanting to make a change. You can focus away from the stuff that doesn't make you happy and shift your thoughts gently towards those that feel better.

3. Give yourself Permission to be happy

Give yourself permission to be happy even when life doesn't look as you wish.

Give yourself permission to be happy when others are not. You can offer them more love, prayers, and spiritual help from a happier place, even if you withdraw from their lives.

Give yourself permission to be happy even if others you love don't agree with your choices.
It is your life, your growth and your creation that matters to your soul. Not everyone is meant to agree. When you're doing what feels right within and what is right with the Divine within you, you'll know it because you'll feel good about your choices... for you.

While the need to be right is deeply ingrained, we can make one little shift at a time towards happiness. It feels better. It enables us to "be the change we wish to see," and empowers us to create better lives. Best of all, in our acceptance of our own "rightness," for ourselves, we free others to be right for themselves too. This is peace, bliss, and freedom!

In Love and Joy!




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Ann Albers

Ann Albers is a popular spiritual instructor, angel communicator, lecturer, and author. She is a traditional Reiki master and a modern mystic who delights in distilling ancient wisdom into practical, down-to-earth tools for modern living. Ann's passion and purpose is teaching others to tap into the power and beauty of their souls, as well as helping people connect with the love and wisdom of their angels.

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