Holidays – Another Should?

Dear Ones,

The media, your community and family encourage you to believe that most, if not all, of your friends, relatives and neighbors are enjoying a loving holiday season, that all is wonderful in their lives. Such is not the case – but deep within the recesses of your being you feel as if it is. Your belief is that you and you alone are wondering where love and joy is.

Even though you might have moments of joy and love throughout this holiday season, you do not seem to have the level of joy others are displaying. Perhaps it is difficult for you to decorate, shop and prepare to host or take part in holiday festivities. It is as if you are watching from the outside wondering why you feel little or nothing. Or a dull ache of loneliness as others laugh and party their way to the new year.

Your sense of not fully participating in festivities is more about your transition than loneliness. You have detached from friends and relatives in small and large increments. Somewhat like a being from the outside looking in. Perhaps an old-fashioned snow globe is an apt analogy – the kind you shake so sparkly snow falls upon the little village or house within. Even though you enjoy the effects of the globe, you are not in or of the globe.

Your joy is shifting to different places than the somewhat hollow joy of the traditional holiday season. Perhaps the phrase, ‘hollow joy’ is not appropriate for you love family gatherings. So you might and so you can. But many of you feel less joy than before, or wished you felt, as you participate in this year’s holiday festivities.

Your Old-Age joy was condensed to a few days near the end of the year and labeled the holiday season. Even though there were other holidays and gatherings, those gatherings were not featured throughout your society as is true for the last few weeks or first few weeks – depending on your country of origin – of the calendar year. According to society myth, anger and fear disappear once the holiday season begins only to be replaced with a loving need to give to others emotionally and physically.

That myth was never accurate for many – and is especially not accurate now.

Perhaps you used to enjoy the holidays. Perhaps they were a respite from family disagreements. Perhaps you were alone and lonely. Perhaps you felt harried and confused. Perhaps you tried to enjoy the holidays for others. Perhaps you enmeshed yourself in the love and joy that seem to permeate your world during this period. You always felt something because your society set an extremely high emotional bar for what you should feel.

You may feel little or nothing this year. You might enjoy the company of family and friends – or not. But most likely, you will not muster the energy of joy, fear, anger or disdain that carried you through previous holiday seasons. You have not become a zombie, Instead, you are declaring yourself independent of society dictates. You are reclaiming your right to be.

That does not mean you must stop loving during this time or that your love is limited to a day or two a year. But instead, that you are beginning to feel holiday joy throughout the year. No longer do you need to have a few days a year set aside for love. No longer do you need to care for others or to be nice so others can enjoy the holidays.

You are not tied to society shoulds. You are a free agent. If you wish to share holiday joy, please do so. It is indeed a lovely time of year for many. But do not be pressured into feeling something that is society driven – whether joy, angst or sadness. It is not your holiday season, it is society’s holiday season.

Your new holidays are every day you wish to experience joy. Create festivities that fit your joy, interests and needs. In the Old Age, joys were limited to a few days to help you remember what joy was – a dictate that was only appropriate if you felt joy. Many of you were depressed or sad because your (society) expectations did not meet your reality.

You can now declare “the king wears no clothes.” That the hype around the holidays may be wonderful for some, but not all. That it is perfectly appropriate to not celebrate the holidays, to do so in a different way or to shift the shoulds to fun. Holiday shoulds are no different from any other should. They were designed to herd you into a pen of assimilation.

Perhaps you feel this message spoils your holidays. Such is not true. We are merely pointing out that some of you are preparing for the holidays with dread, sadness or feelings of “just more work.” None of which speak to joy.

Why are you not encouraged to feel holiday spirit in March or August? Why are holidays limited to a few days each year? Of course there are holidays throughout the year with different feelings of joy perpetuated by your society. But because you should feel joy on a specific day does not mean you have to – you can feel loving joy when you wish.

As you distance yourself from your 3D world, you will find it more difficult to feel what society tells you that you should. Perhaps you are now feeling sadness or loneliness when none is warranted. You are creating a new life of joy not encased in society shoulds – including holidays and other occasions.

You are free to declare joy when you wish. The same is true for sadness. Your new feelings are generated from within you – not society. Review your joy and sadness to discover their origins – society’s or inner-directed?

Do you find it delightful to shop for Christmas gifts on Thanksgiving Day? Then do so. Are you shopping for Christmas gifts on Thanksgiving Day because you are so harried with holiday preparations you need to crunch the holidays together? Then perhaps you wish to review your need to fill society dictates. So be it. Amen.


rose day 27th November 2013 10:10 am

The concept that each day offers moments of celebration is
a priceless gift. Thank you.

Brenda Hoffman 27th November 2013 11:06 am

Hi Rose,
Aren't perception shifts interesting?

We have the freedom to celebrate holidays any way we wish or to celebrate everyday of the year. No more celebration/holiday/birthday/seasonal shoulds!
Blessings, Sparkles and Love,

Skyhawke8 27th November 2013 1:23 pm

Gosh Brenda, this was awesome! I've been wondering what's been "wrong" with me for some years now as the allure of the holidays just seemed empty and absurd. (The commercialization of it is a whole other subject)

I enjoy celebrating Solstice but "saying I love you" buy over consumption of our natural resources seems odd to me.

The gathering of friends and family, all those we love to celebrate life on special occasions is wonderful and magical.

But really are we not all part of the larger family called "Humanity" and don't we "share life" with Life ... all Life ... In our beautiful Home called Planet Earth?

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could awaken to the idea that all life is sacred and magical ... and hold reverence for that in ways that could be celebrated in special, miraculous, moments of awareness and wonder every day?

Loved the snow globe analogy ... :thumbs:

Thank you for sharing your wisdom on this subject today, Brenda.
Some days feel lonely on this planet for me ... and that's ok, because, really I am not alone.

I'm just me.


zorro 27th November 2013 1:47 pm

Confucius say, "He who take on too many should, will eventually suffer from should-er pain. No needs be Charlie Atlas, so no should-er too many shoulds"

Brenda Hoffman 27th November 2013 4:55 pm

Hi Skyhawke,
Those at the forefront (leaders) tend to feel lonely at times because they don't think, act or create like others. Like yogurt in the early 1960s - at least in US - we're just a bit odd now but will become mainstream. That's the function of those at the forefront.

I so agree that spending time with friends and family from the heart is absolutely wonderful. A good friend of 30 years visited us last week and her visit was my Christmas gift to me. Just meeting her at the airport made me teary eyed.

Your thought of "awakening to the idea that all life (including ours) is sacred and magical...and hold reverence for that in ways that could be celebrated in special, miraculous moments of awareness and wonder every day" is an excellent summary of this week's channel.

To new life and love!
Blessings, Love and Sparkles,

Brenda Hoffman 27th November 2013 5:00 pm

Hey Zorro,
Do we need to define Charlie Atlas for readers? Do you remember his ads at the back of most comic books???? One of my childhood friends ordered a monkey - also advertised in most comic books - and still feels guilty because she was too shy to go to post office to find out if the monkey was alive or even arrived. Ah the comic books of yesteryear.

Confucius is so right - no matter what Charlie Atlas advertised!
Blessings, Love and Sparkles,

zorro 27th November 2013 5:24 pm

Yes, I took a little liberty in mixing a mythological being, Atlas, the titan who held up the global sphere, and Charles Atlas, the famous body builder, (real name Angelo Siciliano, born 1862, who got sand kicked in his face and decided to get very strong and took on the new name of Atlas. But an Atlas Complex is a state of mind where one is having the experience of having the world on their should-ers. Taking on too many shoulds and actually believing that you "should" shoulder others "shoulds" may actually contribute to one experiencing an Atlas complex, just the opposite of lightening up.

Brenda Hoffman 27th November 2013 6:44 pm

Hi Zorro,
Thank you for the overview. Never knew Charles Atlas' real name.

Wonder if shouldering the world (great analogy by the way) is why so many have shoulder/back problems? Just a thought.

No more shouldering - shoulds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Time to play...and care for ourselves as much as others.
Blessings and Sparkles,

msclarkee 27th November 2013 7:02 pm

Brenda - you totally nailed it! Thank you! ?

cyndy 27th November 2013 7:19 pm

Zorro, ab"soul"lutely love your creativity.
And, Yes Brenda the shoulders/back of the shoulders is the energy center that carries binding obligation/binding responsibilties. Long ago in past days I would feel like mine were in cement. But as I released obligations and resposibilities that were binding and not of essence to me the back of shoulders released. And just knowing I am not resposible for another's experience all helped.

cyndy 27th November 2013 7:41 pm

Just noticed my typo and dropped the "n" in responsibilites. If I move the "s" and drop the "n" it becomes re-possibilities. May be as the old responsibilites drops/dissolves away the new word is repossibilities. Possibilities over and over and over again. You never will miss your ship, always a new one coming in.

Brenda Hoffman 27th November 2013 10:34 pm

Hi MsClarkee,
Thank you! Sharing my channels with others is one of my joys.
Blessings, Love and Sparkles,

Brenda Hoffman 27th November 2013 10:39 pm

Hi Cyndy,
For some time, I've equated physical issues with the part of the body affected. Thank you for verifying Cyndy. And thank you Zorro for referring to Atlas and shoulders/shoulds - and helping us laugh.
Blessings, Love and Sparkles,

Brenda Hoffman 27th November 2013 10:41 pm

Hi Cyndy,
Like re-possibilities much better than responsibilities. A perfect mistake in so many ways!
Blessings, Love and Sparkles,

Peter fox 28th November 2013 5:13 am

Ok everyone- I'm in first today as I've had breakfast and done all I need
to do today whilst most of you are still fast asleep- Happy Thanksgiving
Not a sign of any "hollow joy" over here in the UK- we are just as
miserable as ever! Thought I could be the only one to remember who
Charles Atlas was until I recalled that we are all going skiing together on
Brenda's 100th!
Anyway if you don't mind I'm joining in with your celebrations today. If
Rachel can get to the Eiffel Tower in 45 minutes then I should be able to
get to most of you by lunchtime. I love this because I just hate airports!
Brenda,you are absolutely right- "the king is wearing no clothes" and when
everyone takes their clothes off all that is there in everyone is authentic,
original joy and happiness. Happy Thanksgiving!

Brenda Hoffman 28th November 2013 9:06 am

Hi Peter,
I vote for authentic joy and happiness! We're having a friend over today and plan to eat some and play lots. A loving Thanksgiving and every day to all.
Blessings, Sparkles and Love,

Kelara 28th November 2013 11:27 am

I cant believe how this message arrived for me today, as I have been feeling terrible even contemplating the holidays! My heart and soul hasn't been in it for about four years now, in hindsight that is when I fully awoke to my transition. I'm in awe how this message arrived, it seems that my entire being has sped up, and to participate in the facade of this season seems torturous to my very being, and I couldn't shake it. So as I am typing I am realizing with the assistance of this message I am even more engaged in the 5D energy than I had previously thought. Which of course is an amazing validation of how far I have come in my journey. The mundane rituals have no significance to me anymore, and I am searching for a way to make myself feel joyous about the upcoming season, but there seems no substance in it (like you said) So I somehow have to create something for myself that fits the new 5D energy! Thank you so much for sharing this insight, it truly validates for me anyways just how much the 3D is crumbling away. Many blessings

debs go lightly 28th November 2013 5:09 pm

Hi Brenda and everyone,
This message and discussion is amazing! I have been healing a sprained shoulder and last night strained it again helping someone when I 'shouldnt' have been...
Brenda - thank you from the bottom of my heart for your messages and love. Your tireless work has been so helpful and has made this often lonely and emotional journey so much easier. Bless you.
This christmas, while accepting with love rejection by some of our genetic family, my partner and I will focus on and give thanks for our new family of Beautiful Lightworkers!
God bless the Ascension!

Brenda Hoffman 28th November 2013 8:27 pm

Hi Kelara,
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for your wonderful transitioning. Isn't it amazing how far we've come and how little we credit or award ourselves for doing so?

Something somewhat similar happened to me. I used to dread the holidays because of past memories of a special place I shared with my family Christmas past. For the first time I can remember in decades, I've enjoyed today just because it was fun. We had a lonely friend over for lunch and talked and talked...just sharing each other's company and the joy of being. YAY for you and me and anyone experiencing new feelings.
Blessings, Love and Sparkles,

Brenda Hoffman 28th November 2013 8:35 pm

Hi Debs Go Lightly,
Wonderful!!!! So many of us are creating new families...who resonate with us and want us to grow into our full transition beings.

You probably already know how much I enjoy sharing my channels with others...and receiving the messages. We're all in this together!
Blessings, Sparkles and Love,


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Brenda Hoffman

An intuitive since birth, Brenda formalized her channeling skills with her internationally noted book, A Glimpse of Your Future. This prophetic classic describes your role in this transition, as well as answers questions such as why baby boomers were instrumental in introducing the New Age and what earth will be like in the year 4000.

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