Yesterday, after a long walk on a cold, windy day here in Toronto, I did something kind for myself.
I was sitting in my hotel room, answering email and finishing up some work, when I looked over at the end of the bed and noticed the sun had cast a pool of light across the comforter.
Wouldn't it be wonderful to curl up in a ball in the middle of that light and take a nap, I thought to myself.
But I continued working.
Responding to requests.
Ignoring my own.
I have to be someplace in an hour, I tell myself. I don't have time for a nap.
Why are you ignoring the little voice that wants to take a nap? I asked myself.
Wouldn't you love to enjoy the warmth of the sun on your body?
Yes, a little time in the sun would be lovely right about now, I admitted.
So, I put my computer aside, grabbed a pillow, and curled up in the pool of light. As I lay there feeling the heat cross my face each time the clouds moved beyond the sun, I smiled and sank deeper. I imagined myself lying on a beach, carefree and happy, soaking in the pleasure of the moment.
Thank you, I said out loud as I drifted off to sleep. Thank you for listening.
I've gotten quite skilled at ignoring the voice inside me that does its best to direct me toward pleasure.
Like so many of us, I've made it a habit to serve the wrong master for way too long.
Work hard. Play later.
Get your to-do list done and then you can relax.
Build a nest egg first and enjoy life when you retire.
Whatever retirement means these days.
It's so easy to withhold life from ourselves.
To make efficiency and completion and check marks more important than living. What a shame (and a sham).
I'm grateful to be paying attention so I can start changing the rules of the game.
I'm not waiting for "some day" to live my life anymore.
I'm living it now by serving a new master - one who is loving and sane, sensitive and smart.
You're welcome to join me.
It doesn't take a massive plan of action.
Just a little awareness and one teeny, tiny new choice.
Like a nap on a sunny afternoon .
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Now here's a little darling who knows how to listen and to experience joy. Such an old soul. You can watch her here. Thanks, Shalini!