Why Reacting Is The Last Thing You Should Do

Last week my husband Michael saved my ass.  He happened to walk by my office while I was pounding away at my computer’s keyboard, crafting an email to someone who had just written to me with a message that pushed my buttons.

“What are you doing?” he asked in a casual tone.

“I’m upset about an email I just received and I’m writing back to set the person straight,” I replied.

“Are you sure you really want to do that?” Michael asked.

I looked up at him and for a split second considered arguing my case.  Then I got up to join him in the kitchen.

My husband is a patient, levelheaded guy who’s prone to giving others the benefit of the doubt.  It’s one of the many things I admire about him.  Over the years I’ve learned a lot about restraint from watching how Michael responds to challenges.  When his buttons get pushed, he often retreats, takes his time to consider the situation, and comes back, able to see both sides of the disagreement.

I, on the other hand, can be a bit passionate and reactive.

As I stood in the kitchen sharing the details about the email, I could feel myself settling down.  Within a couple of minutes I knew Michael was right.  Restraining myself was a smarter thing to do.  And, by the time we finished our conversation, it was clear that my reaction had nothing to do with the other person and everything to do with me.

When we act while feeling angry or upset, there’s a good chance we’ll just escalate a negative situation.  After all, the energy we bring to an encounter with another person invites similar energy.

The truth is reacting out of anger rarely serves anyone and seldom is there a sound argument for responding immediately when something sets you off.  Better to step back and wait.

In this day and age when life moves so quickly, we could all benefit from a little more self-control.  Or a lot.  I’m learning to take a deep breath and regroup before dealing with difficult situations.

I invite you to join me  smiley2.

Take Action Challenge

Stop!  Before you make that call, send that email, or fight that fight, ask yourself the following questions:

  • Am I in my right mind?
  • Do I want to be met by the energy I’m offering right now?
  • Might it be helpful to talk to someone neutral first?

Then, when in doubt, take a step back and sleep on it heart-icon.
Or, watch this week’s video…

Please read the description below the photo and above the video prior to watching.  And be sure to watch it all the way through. You can find it here.  Thanks, Laurie!

Comments

Sandra Smyre 27th March 2013 1:31 pm

My spiritual principles encourage me to practice"pause" when agitated or doubtful and it works every time even when I don't want to do it. It sure does take practice though. Seems like our buttons are all being pushed right now--guess we need to change there location(haha). In LoveLight, Sandra

wapani23 27th March 2013 3:14 pm

Same thing here. There is great value in pause and I always learn something when I do. And it takes work. I am thinking all these buttons being pushed rather than it being me just losing it, LOL ,has a far more transformational purpose. I am getting a chance to see everything that has impacted me for my whole life and what has stood in my way. I think this leads to recognizing truth as we interact with life. It is scary but something I always knew would come one day.

zorro 27th March 2013 6:43 pm

"Last week my husband Michael saved my ass"

"I, on the other hand, can be a bit passionate and reactive...My husband is a patient, levelheaded guy who’s prone to giving others the benefit of the doubt. It’s one of the many things I admire about him...When his buttons get pushed, he often retreats, takes his time to consider the situation, and comes back, able to see both sides of the disagreement.

Everything comes full-circle and seeks balance. I'm no Dr. Phil but your passionate and reactive self may have a beneficial effect on Michael to begin with, which creates a certain balance, and which affords him the ability to be the "patient, levelheaded guy" he is, who is then there for you with the right balance of energies at the right time when you need it, to "save your ass" at the right time. So, which came first, the chicken or the egg...the expression of the passion or the patient retreat response... hmm...?

Makes total sense, and thanks for sharing!

themaster 27th March 2013 7:57 pm

Actually, I don't remember much.. I had class that day.. and that's what I recall ;D

I remember you said time would stop on 12/21 etc. just wondering if you had "experienced" it?
:)

I'll look for yah on lightworker if I'm bored :crazy2 I've been resonating lately a lot with adamus/geofrey hoppe.. they run a “free” webinar every month if your bored.. :crazy2 you might enjoy it ?

If you ever want to friend up.. me and Julia/happyme are facebook friends? ;D :crazy2

In our work we’ve been working on changing the body working with the adrenaline gland lately.. we’ve been working with body’s like the causal and astral/etheric :)

Advertisement

Keep updated with Spirit Library

Author Information

Cheryl Richardson

Cheryl Richardson is the author of The New York Times bestselling books, Take Time for Your Life, Life Makeovers, Stand Up for Your Life, The Unmistakable Touch of Grace and her new book The Art of Extreme Self Care. She was the first president of the International Coach Federation and holds one of their first Master Certified Coach credentials.

Books from Cheryl Richardson

Self Care Cards Cover image
Cheryl Richardson
 
You Can Create An Exceptional Life Cover image
Louise Hay, Cheryl Richardson
 
 

Advertisement

Cheryl Richardson Archives