It can be so suffocating when you feel yourself fenced in by emotions, perspectives, thoughts and beliefs that feel like they are squeezing the lifeforce out of you. Anxiety feels like that. Depression feels like that. Energetic sensitivity to difficult weeks feels like that.
I felt that suffocation early last week, and early this week again, yet even while it was happening it was almost like being outside of myself looking in.
Being aware of your old beliefs, doing decades of inner work, even being in a position where you teach others, doesn't mean you are immune from your own crap. It still comes up. The main difference is, when it does come up you are fully aware that you have pressed play on an old movie that you are certain went to the scrap heap a while ago. Only here's another reel of it! Surprise!
Sometimes the wave is mild, other times (as many experienced this past week), it is a high-pressure system that comes out of nowhere. And we are often so hard on ourselves the more 'aware' we are because we think 'why am I back to feeling like this right now?"
The good thing is, with this 'awareness' comes a backpack of support tools to help you through it, be it breathing through it or journalling or whatever you know works for you.
Even though you have some self-awareness, certain emotional waves can still feel overwhelming because, whether for minutes, hours or days, it can feel like there is no escape. It is like being trapped inside a room being jostled by a bunch of old belief rowdy school bullies! What we need in that moment is a perspective-shift. It is helpful to pick up the phone, or pick up your journal, and express how you feel in a safe space. Often, it is the simple act of verbalising the whirlpool of emotions inside you, that calms the raging river and helps you see what is coming up in a new way.
Closing your eyes and just breathing deeply in and out is another great perspective-shifter that you can do anywhere. And knowing that other people are feeling the same helps too, which is why I so appreciate everyone sharing here, as you all so wonderfully support everyone else who reads through the comments. So if you have been feeling a bit side-swiped by the energies of the mo', please know you are not alone. And if you are feeling like you are riding the crest like a pro-surfer, please share what it is that helps you experience your "perspective-shifts" when a shift is required.
Thanks for sharing! x