Hi my friend,
It’s a blessing for me to connect with you in this way today. We have so much to catch up on, so let’s get right to it!
February will nudge us in the direction of creating greater clarity in the ways that we communicate with ourselves, others, and the world around us.
As an empath, you’ve probably found yourself often feeling disappointed when someone didn’t understand you the way you desired to be understood.
For example, let’s say you have your own business, and that you’ve recently hired an assistant to help you with your day-to-day tasks.
Initially, everything goes very well.
Then after a few weeks, you begin to notice that this person may not be as responsive as you would like—they get back to you more slowly than you prefer. They may also not be delivering on the tasks you require of them, often making excuses as to why things weren’t completed.
You may not be happy with this. Yet because you’re an empath, you find yourself often trying to go that extra mile to accommodate them, hoping that they will come around soon. You probably even dance around the idea of letting them know how you feel, because you don’t want them to feel like you’re a demanding person to work for.
You wait, and wait, and wait a bit more … and then you begin to get frustrated.
You may even begin to realize that this is a pattern that has come up for you often, with friends, family, and other work-related situations.
One of the main reasons we get frustrated with others for not understanding us, is because WE have not clearly communicated what we need from them.
The same goes with how we communicate with ourselves.
This happens because we are either not fully clear on what we desire, or are not giving ourselves what we desire.
In the case of the above situation, clearly communicating what you desire and expect from your assistant will help tremendously to ensure they understand that there’s simply no room for them to not deliver for you.
Getting clear on what our desires are, then communicating them openly and authentically, will help to remedy the situation of us feeling misunderstood.
Right now, the energies are nudging us to examine, refine, and heal our personal and professional relationships.
This includes the relationship we have with ourselves, as well as with our family, friends, partner, and work colleagues.
February will serve as an excellent time to get clear on the dynamics of our current relationships—how we are contributing to them, and whether we desire to make some important personal shifts, to create greater balance in our relationships as we move forward.
We might find it helpful to ask ourselves a few questions now, such as:
– Do our current relationships feel balanced, expansive, and enjoyable?
– Are we feeling free and open to fully be ourselves, in every way?
– What kinds of relationships would we like to experience more of?
– Are the dynamics of our current relationships a result of us repeating the dynamics we saw as children in the adults around us?
These types of questions can help us gain tremendous clarity on whether or not we are fully loving ourselves.
This is because our relationships with others are often a mirror of the relationship we have cultivated with ourselves.
We may have placed ourselves in situations where we often feel the need to accommodate others—a sign we have not established a balanced exchange of support, love, and respect in our relationships.
This happens as a result of us not fully loving ourselves and honoring our own needs.
This is the time, right here and now, to let all of our relationships be a reflection of us loving ourselves unconditionally.
Transcending the People-Pleasing Pattern
Most of us were not taught how to love, and not shown the importance of making ourselves an equal if not top priority in our lives.
We were most likely taught to first please our parents, and others, before ourselves.
The relationship we had with our parents directly affects every relationship we experience as adults. (Until we do the inner healing work.)
The most important things a child needs from their parents are unconditional love, acceptance, and complete acknowledgement.
A child deserves to fully be seen, heard, and honored for who they really are, not for purely what they do or accomplish.
However, because of the times they grew up in and their own limited awareness, most parents just did not have the tools and capacity to teach us anything different from what they were taught during their own upbringing.
Our parents also came from an ancestral lineage that passed down to them unresolved traumas.
These traumas often take up so much inner space that they prevent parents from learning how to manage their own emotions by using coping behaviors.
So of course, because these parents are unable to manage their own emotions, they have little or no idea how to support their children in managing their emotions.
This pattern has a great impact on us as children.
One of the biggest impacts, is that it teaches children to people-please in order to receive love and acknowledgement.
It makes the child contort themselves to fit into whatever their parents want them to be.
The child begins to do more of whatever their parents deem to be good, and starts to reject and hide the parts of themselves their parents deem to be bad or useless.
Every person just wants love and acceptance, and wants to be viewed as a good human being. No one wants to disappoint their parents.
This is why most sensitive and emotionally in-tune children people-please.
As we do our inner healing work, we expand our awareness to understand that we don’t need to please people any more in order to be loved and accepted.
We become such a wellspring of unconditional love to ourselves, that we no longer need to contort ourselves to fit into what others think we should be.
We become so self-sustaining that we no longer need everyone to like, love, and accept us.
We become the emotionally mature parent—to our inner child, and to our own children, who so deserve and need that kind of parent.
This is us freeing ourselves from the people-pleasing pattern.
February will serve as an excellent month for us to untangle ourselves from this pattern, once and for all!
If you’re feeling that some of your relationships could use a bit of refining right now, the process below can help support you in that.
The Mirror Process
Step 1: Think of a current relationship in your life that you desire to improve or refine.
Step 2: Write down all of the ways in which you think that relationship could benefit from some refinement or improvement.
For example: Better communication, greater appreciation of one another, or a more balanced exchange of love and support.
Step 3: Look at what you have written, and ask yourself, Are the items I listed something I want the other person to change about themselves? Or are they something I would like to improve within myself?
If the answer is the latter, you now have clarity on what you can give to yourself in order to build a strong and nourishing relationship with yourself.
That is vital, because our relationship with our own inner self is the foundation from which we experience all relationships.
If you noticed that your mind wanted to make it about the other person, please continue to Step 4.
Step 4: Ask yourself: How does it serve me, to want to change or control how others treat me?
Usually the core answer to that question ends up being something about safety and self-protection.
The desire to change and control others is a survival pattern the mind has identified with, as a result of forgetting what our Spirit has always known: that It—our true essence—can never be controlled, because it is infinite and eternal.
It is everything!
At your core, you do not really desire to control anyone. That impulse is just the mind’s way of protecting itself.
Doesn’t it feel lighter to know that?
With this new awareness, you can then begin to understand that the relationship was just a mirror, reflecting back to you how you have been treating yourself.
These are patterns that exist on both a conscious and subconscious level, as a result of your upbringing, and personal experiences you‘ve accumulated throughout life.
Step 5: With the awareness that everything you wrote on your list was just what you desire to give to yourself, go back over the items on your list, and read them out loud in the following statement:
“I desire to give myself _______________ (fill in the blank), so I now choose to give myself this.”
Repeat the same statement for all of the items you wrote on your list.
Step 6: Thank the person you originally thought of, for being the mirror that showed you what you weren’t fully giving yourself.
Step 7: Thank yourself for being so open and willing to understand that the whole situation has only ever been about how you treat you.
Step 8: Make the decision to give yourself everything you ever thought others should be giving you, and give yourself that on a daily basis.
This is you, coming back into your power!
As you become the one who gives yourself everything you thought others should be giving you, you will find that your happiness and fulfillment quotients magnify Big Time!
You will begin noticing that the people who are unable to do these things for themselves, such as increased self-respect, will start to lovingly move into the background of your life, while those who can do that for themselves will increasingly begin to show up for you, in extraordinary ways.
The next few months is a time for us to allow that deep fire within us to come out and play.
This is our time to connect with our free-spirited nature, and to live our lives to the fullest.
Which makes it the perfect time to begin new adventures!
One of the things that holds most people back from living their life to the fullest, is fear of the unknown.
The truth is, there is no such thing as the unknown, because that part of us known as the Spirit already knows everything.
Yes, our Spirit is a “know-it-all,” in a way that has absolutely nothing to do with the ego.
Let’s take comfort in the fact that our Spirit knows exactly what It needs to do to take the best care of us, and that our only job is to honor the guidance It offers us.
Imagine the extraordinary possibilities we instantly open ourselves up to, when we let go of our fear of the unknown!
Right now is the time to release any fear of the unknown, and energize ourselves to go beyond any of the previous limitations we have set for ourselves.
Now is the time to notice the amazing opportunities that begin to present themselves, to help us enrich our lives.
And when something feels good, let’s just go for it!
Whether it’s in the areas of relationships, environment, career, our health and well-being, creativity—now is the time to open ourselves up to the expected and unexpected blessings coming our way!
As we begin our new adventures, it’s important to be flexible and adaptable. Let’s allow our Spirit/Life to guide us on the journey It desires to take us on.
This can sometimes be a little challenging for the mind. And yet, if there was ever a perfect time to just let ourselves run free, this is it!
This is not a time to hibernate. This is a time to go out into the world and engage, and to share in the love, joyous laughter, and higher energies available to us now!
February Astro Roundup
This will be an exciting new chapter, thanks to the long-awaited Saturn transit into its native zodiac sign of Aquarius that occurred in January. Saturn will remain in Aquarius until March 29th 2025! This major transit will cause quite a stir, and bring big changes to each zodiac sign.
Saturn is a planet of structure and stability, and when it shifts into a new house, it brings a renewed energy with it. Aquarius will be a much-needed breath of fresh air for Saturn as it has spent the past few years in the more fixed element of Capricorn.
The shift of Saturn into Aquarius is a great time for new beginnings, fresh ideas, and unexpected opportunities to come our way.
Aquarius is an innovative sign that loves to think outside of the box, so this transit will be the perfect time for us to look at our lives from a different perspective.
February will be marked by the desire for some extra attention paid to our well-being. The energy of Aquarius helps us focus on healthy pursuits, making sure our bodies are in sync with our minds.
As the month moves along, we can expect our creativity and imagination to pick up. We will feel more motivated to express ourselves through art and communication.
This is a great time to start a creative project, as our creative ideas and passions will not be inhibited by practical considerations.
February will also continue to be an ideal month to focus on practical matters. This productive energy will help us design and put into action concrete plans.
We will be highly productive, organized, and determined towards making our schedules manageable and achieving our short-term goals.
As always, may this month bless you in spectacular ways, and may you always know that we are all in this together.
Till next time,
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