If the world is a real-seeming illusion, then suffering is also an illusion. I hear you say to Me:
“God, what difference does it make if my life on Earth is illusion or not when illusion feels real? What difference does it make if my suffering is illusion or not when it feels like honest-to-goodness suffering, and I suffer?
“Give me an illusion of peace then. Let me put in my time on Earth in illusion then. With all due respect to You, God, give me a pleasant illusion. If I am not made for suffering, why, then, do I have it? Make me free of suffering on any basis.
“You tell me that I do not need to suffer. Then, so, why do I? If I’m cut, I bleed. If I am hungry, I am hungry. If I mourn loss, I mourn loss. Do I need to go on? Well, one more thing. You say that if I perceived well enough, I would not suffer. Then give me, I beg You to give me, the perception that it is Yours. Make it mine, I beseech You.
“You say I will get the hang of it, that I will come to know Truth from Illusion. Give me the hang of it and release me from bondage now. Release me from illusion. Remove all pain and agony from me. If You are a God of Love, then show me Love so I love without limit, and that I love once and for all, and I am as You created me to be.
“God, I hear that I live many lifetimes. Do I need so many? Can’t I take a quick course? Please don’t tell me it’s my choice. What I presently live through can’t be my choice.
“I am born into a body with the immediate fear of losing my body. This is the fear of death that hangs over me. Add insult to injury, my beloveds also have the same knife of death hanging over them. Can’t I please be without fear and see as You see? You have no fear. You are sure of Yourself. Does anyone hear my plea for leniency? I claim mercy now. I say, Uncle. I will say anything if only I may be pain-free and loving, not later, not sometime, but right now in this lifetime. Right this minute. No more dangling freedom before me. Now, God, now.
“One more thing, if I may. Don’t tell me I am close to all I desire when a miss is as good as a mile.
“Do I hurt another? I don’t. You say You don’t punish me. I certainly feel like I’m being punished. Even if I am really close to boundlessness, my present life hurts like the dickens. I see no end in sight.
“I am not giving you an ultimatum. I know better than that. I am in no position to offer ultimatums. I wouldn’t do that anyway. I do not play a power game with You, Almighty God.
“It is my wish to comply with You in any and every way You ask.
“Tell me how to release myself from the past and how every day I may be a new wave of blessings. And if I already am, and I don’t see, then give me the gift of seeing, please. I am willing. I am more than willing. I am eager. I want to follow Your Will. God in Heaven, when is my path clear? When do You give me absolution from the present as I experience it?
“Where is Your Heart of God, and where is mine? I understand that You do not discriminate. God, I don’t know anyone who is truly happy. I have to say that unhappiness is the illusion I know. What do I do now?
“Oh, I see I have done more talking than listening, and my time is up now. Tomorrow, may it be I listen better.”
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