Right, Wrong, and The Truth

I recently had a rather heated discussion with a friend who was trying to convince me that I was wrong about something. She was quite irritated that I would not agree with her because as far as I was concerned I wasn’t wrong, I just had a different perspective than she did, which was my truth and it conflicted with her truth.

I also noticed that I wasn’t trying as hard to convince her of my ‘right-ness’ as she was in insisting that I was wrong. This wasn’t about right or wrong, though, it was about truth.

Any time there is a right or wrong in a situation, the real issue at hand is the truth, and whose truth is true.

Some people will go to great lengths to assert that they know best, they are right, and they know the truth. But truth is a funny thing because as much as we want to know ‘the Truth’, all we can really know for sure is what is true for us. Someone else’s truth is theirs alone. We may agree or share an opinion about it but truth, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. And when they ask us to validate their truth, what they are really asking for is validation that they are worthy of our validation, acceptance, and ultimately, of our love.

When my friend insisted that I agree with her, I knew it was personal and went far beyond me and this small incident. For her, it one more time that she had to prove herself and her truth and I was one more person who didn’t agree with her. Although I did agree with her in principle, I just didn’t agree with her truth.

Since she was making this so personal I had to wonder who had made her so wrong in her life that she needed to have her truth validated by hearing me repeat it back to her.

Why wasn’t it enough for her to know her truth and be comfortable with it? Because it wasn’t about her truth, it was about getting me to agree that it was true.

In changing and uncertain times, when the truths that have sustained us for so long suddenly become no longer true, we need to re-establish a foundation where we feel secure and validated. A changing truth can be that someone we love doesn’t love us any more, or the job that sustained us doesn’t need us any more, a friend decides they no longer want our friendship, or we have to acknowledge that we have been living a life that doesn’t make us happy.

We can find a new truth but that isn’t what we really want. We want someone to tell us that we are right, true, worthy and deserving. So we go looking for truth when all we really want is validation, acceptance, and love.

Because that is our greatest need, to be valued and valuable, validated by others so we know we exist and are heard, loved, appreciated and to know that someone, anyone, agrees with our truth. And our fear is that the truth will reveal what we have always been afraid to find out, that we are not worthy, lovable or deserving.

Is it possible to be comfortable with our truth, even if no one else thinks it’s true?

It depends on what it is but since truth is personal, as long as it is true for us, we’re aligned with it, it’s authentic and it makes us happy, that’s the only truth we need to know.

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Comments

Toni 22nd December 2017 5:07 pm

Lol... must be in the air...that happened to me the other day too... "Beg your pardon dude, I've been in this body 3 times longer than you've been in yours. Where do you get off thinking you know more about me than I do"... My first reaction's usually defence..."my life is balanced!!! I'm not a believer in all or nothing"...then I get conscious I'm defending myself, so say, cos attack & defence isn't my thing & walk away...grumble, grumble, grumble.

“How the fork did I attract that?”...Ah... my friends having a hard time with his house guest & needed a bit of assistance. I think the little dudes going to think twice before projecting his own issues on to everyone else again. He apologised beautifully before I left tho being quite enlightened despite his youth, so we're back on hugging terms. All wonderful.

4d creates a lot of that energy...People break out of their 3d shell with discovery & start thinking they know whats best for everyone... Really they only know whats best for themselves.

:thumbs:

kitegirlcoach 26th December 2017 9:20 pm

Yes, it's the cognitive dissonance thing kicking in big time right now. Some get quite verbally violent about defending their position simply because what they are waking up to shakes their foundations.
I've found I've altered my words now. It's rarely "I think this..." or "What really happened is this..." becuase then they just argue that I am wrong. I don't like being attacked no matter how many facts I bring to the equation so it's softer to say "Apparently this..." or "I read this is the case and here's the link or the photo..." or the one they cannot argue against "I get this feeling about it via my intuition" - encouraging everyone to use intuition to find the truth rather than base any conclusions upon the facts (or alternative facts) presented.
I love your direction, Jennifer, of looking deeper into their need for acceptance. We all look for it, I guess, and it's a good way to focus on the attack - using compassion rather than needing to defend against it.

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Jennifer Hoffman

Jennifer Hoffman is a life-long intuitive whose unique gifts include an amazing ability to read clients’ energetic fields, view their soul purpose, karmic wounds and lessons and bring their energetic vibrations into alignment with their soul’s desire for healing and wholeness in body, mind and spirit. She works with the Archangel Uriel, along with her guides and angels, those of the client and departed loves ones who wish to participate, providing accurate and focused guidance to raise energetic vibrations and create a clear path to a joyful, fulfilling life.

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