Dear friends, I rejoice at being with you again. When I see you, I do not so much see you as the physical bodies that you look at in the mirror. It is your inside that I feel and see, the inner movements of your thoughts, feelings and emotions. I am here to support you on your journey.
There is a theme that I would like to discuss today that has had a great impact on you throughout your history on earth. It is about sexuality and how it is experienced by men and women.
This is not an easy subject. Sexuality has become burdened with many judgments, fears and emotions. Hardly any aspect of it is spontaneous and self-evident anymore. This is the same as saying that the childlike aspect of sexuality, the aspect of the freely exploring innocent child, has become lost. You are full of fear and tension when it comes to sexually expressing yourself.
I want to address this burden in this channeling, but first I’d like to say a little about what sexuality means from a spiritual perspective.
Sexuality is the dancing together of male and female energies. Originally sexuality was more than a physical act. It was meant to be a dance in which all levels or aspects of you and your partner participate.
I will distinguish among four levels or aspects that can play a role in this dance of energies.
Four aspects of the sexual experience
First, there is the physical level, the aspect of the physical body. The body is innocent. The body knows sexual desire and lust and this is something that is spontaneously present within the body. The body seeks gratification of its desires and it is the human, or the soul consciousness in the human, that determines the way in which the sexual desire is applied and manifested. Again, the body is innocent. It knows lust and desire. There is nothing wrong with that. It can be a source of fun, play and enjoyment. But the body cannot itself choose in what way it is going to express its sexual energy. It is you the human being who is in charge and the body needs your leadership.
When you would like to experience sexuality in the most loving way, the seat of leadership will be in the heart. When you let your heart take charge of your sexual energy, it will find its most joyful expression. The alternative is to let either your thoughts (judgments) or your emotions rule the sexual flow and you will see that this will cause several blockages in your energy, but I will speak of this below.
The second aspect of the sexual dance I wish to distinguish is the emotional level. Sexual union is a deeply emotional act. If you ignore this aspect, you are not fully present in the act and you cut yourself off from the real meaning of sexuality.
In a previous channeling called “Dealing with emotions,” we have gone into the issue of emotions extensively. We highlighted the powerful emotions of fear, anger and sadness and discussed how they can take you out of your center. When any of these powerful emotions is working in a relationship between two people and they are not consciously recognized and addressed, it will come up when they are intimate together. These emotions may cause psychological reactions of resistance or closing down when you are physically intimate, or the body may be unable to feel lust or excitement.
Whenever there are these psychological or physical blockages, it is important to deal with them at the level at which they have arisen: the emotional level. When you try to take away physical symptoms without looking at the underlying emotional dynamic, you are disrespectful of yourself and your body. When the body resists intimacy it gives you a message, pure and clear, that there is an emotional blockage. This may be due to a problem between you and your partner, or it may be an emotional hurt you carry with you from the past. Whatever it is, it needs to be addressed and taken care of in a gentle and loving way before the sexual energy can flow freely.
Next to the emotional level is the level of the heart, which is the seat of feeling. In the same channeling I just mentioned (“Dealing with emotions”), we distinguished between emotions and feelings. Feelings belong to the domain of intuition and inner knowing. Your feeling side speaks to you through quiet whispers, filled with wisdom and compassion. Emotions are more dramatic in nature and we called them “reactions of misunderstanding,” for that is what they essentially are: explosions of not understanding what is happening to you. (See the channeling for clarification.)
When the heart opens up between sexual partners there is trust, love and safety between them. When the heart is present in a sexual meeting, you allow your intuition to take note of what is happening between you when you get physically intimate. You do not hide your emotions, you speak openly of them. Old pain may surface and it is accepted as such. You are accepted as you are and this kind of acceptance is the greatest healing power there is. When you connect your heart energy with your sexual energy, great healing can take place in an area that is much in need of it.
However, the heart can also play a subtle role in preventing you from experiencing sexuality in a joyful, loving way. The heart may have closed itself off from the joy of sexuality for different reasons. First there may be a desire in the heart to rise above the physical reality of earth. Second there may be religious dogmas at work that keep the heart from opening up to what sexuality really is. I will address both of these issues now.
The heart can have a strong inclination to rise above the dense plane of material reality. It is a kind of homesickness. There may be a longing there for unity that is not at all aimed at sexual union, but in fact carries within it a subtle rejection of the earth realm (and of sexuality as well). Many of you know the desire to transcend this reality. Many of you remember the energy of love and harmony that you have experienced in non-material realms before you incarnated on earth. Your heart cries out for the ease and the lightness of this vibration. You try to drink in this energy when you meditate. Often the higher chakras are activated in this way, meaning the heart, the throat, the third eye and the crown chakra. They open up, while the lower three chakras (solar plexus, belly and tail bone) which are vital to your earthly self are more or less abandoned.
In a more unnatural way, this also happens when you take drugs. When you take mind-expanding substances, the upper chakras are artificially ripped open and you can temporarily experience ecstasy and bliss that make you forget the dense and heavy aspect of earth reality.
Although the desire and the longing for transcendence are understandable, it is important to make peace with earth reality. Otherwise you will create an artificial separation between the upper part and the lower part of your energy field. You will give preference to being in the upper part of your aura with your consciousness and you will grow a subtle or overt resistance to the reality of the body, the emotions and sexuality. This creates an imbalance in your energy field
When you are homesick in this way, try to feel the reason and purpose for your being on earth right now. Your reason to be here is not to transcend earth but to bring Home down to earth. This is a sacred journey.
The second reason for the heart to shy away from sexuality is religious dogmas, often from past lives. There may have been lives in which you took vows of chastity or in which you were taught to feel shame or guilt about bodily pleasure and sexuality. These energies may still linger in your heart. Because of them you may have negative judgments about or subtle resistance to physical intimacy. These judgments and sentiments do not rest on truth. Again I wish to say that the body itself is innocent. Lust, desire and all the physical processes that make you long for sexual union are natural, healthy processes. The imbalances that occur in the area of sexuality are almost always due to the non-physical levels, of which I have now discussed two.
The fourth and last level is the aspect of the mind. On the mental level there can be moral or spiritual beliefs that keep you from enjoying sexuality. Most of these beliefs are religious in nature.
On the spiritual level you may feel that the physical body is a kind of prison. The non-physical reality of the “higher realms” (as you call them, not I) is so glorified that the physical reality gets undervalued. This occurs frequently among lightworkers. Especially among them there often is resistance to the pleasure and enjoyment that sexuality can provide. This stems partly from religious and moral beliefs and partly from sheer inexperience with this aspect of life. Most lightworker souls have spent many lifetimes as priests, nuns or similar roles, withdrawn from the community, without a partner or family. They focused so much on the spiritual that the area of sexuality was neglected.
In spiritual or religious people there is often a lack of respect for the body in its natural expression. This is truly regrettable for it is the expression into matter that is regarded on our side to be the most sacred journey for a soul to go on. To sow and reap the seeds of your divinity so far away from Home in the reality of matter and form is a sacred undertaking. It is a divine, creative act of the highest order.
Perhaps you have at some time been present at someone’s deathbed or you have witnessed a childbirth. In those moments, the souls enters or lets go of the dance with matter. Both points in time are surrounded by an atmosphere of sacredness. You can sense this as a deep, enveloping silence filled with honor which announces the coming or leaving of the soul. There is but the deepest respect on our side of the veil for what you do at those moments. The dance with matter is sacred. And you detest it so often!
Sexuality in its true meaning is a dance in matter which at the same time rises above matter. In balanced sexual self-expression you transcend material reality without ignoring or repressing it, without abandoning the lower three chakras and without seeking ecstasy only through the upper chakras. Complete sexuality integrates all levels of your being. Sexuality bridges the gap between matter and spirit.
When two people are physically intimate in a loving way, all the cells in their body vibrate a little faster – they start to dance a little. A gateway is opened to an energetic reality with a slightly higher vibration and a lighter feeling. After a sexual joining in which all of you participates – your body, soul and mind – you feel peaceful and joyful at the same time. There is a quiet ecstasy. The cells of your body have tasted the energy of love and in that moment you brought the reality of Love a little closer to you. You channeled the divine energy of Love that so dearly wishes to flow through you and that has only the greatest respect for your sexual nature.
If the energy on all four levels flows together in a sexual joining, it is an act of divine creation. That children are being born from such an act is only natural. When the dance of male and female is performed in such a joyous way, only goodness and sweetness can come of it. If a child is conceived in such a way, it enters the earth realm on a slide of love and light. It is the most loving welcome that a soul can have on earth.
Because the sexual energies are so precious, we ask you: please deal respectfully with your sexuality. When there are problems, fears or tensions around it, do not judge sexuality in itself or give up on it, for it is a natural part of you and a sacred one.
Sexual problems and the battle of the sexes
I would now like to go into the history of sexuality and then say something about the specific problems that women and men experience nowadays in their sexual self-expression.
Much has happened in the area of the sexual. At its core sexuality carries a great potential of light, but because of that there is also the potential for great misuse. The history I wish to speak of is one of the power struggle between men and women. This history is ancient and actually began at the time when the extra-terrestrial galactic empires started to interfere with life on earth. (See the “Lightworker series” on this website for a detailed account of this process). Before that earth was a kind of paradise, a Garden of Eden in which beauty and innocence prevailed. We will not discuss this era here but will simply note that you are in the end phase of a power struggle that is much older than the 5,000 years of written history.
In the last stage of this history, men clearly played the role of perpetrator and oppressor. But it was not always so. There have been times in which the woman was much more powerful in the public as well as the private domain of life. She oppressed the male energy as well in cruel and sadistic ways. Woman is not naturally the oppressed or subdued sex, you know, nor is she by definition the most loving sex. Your stereotypes of women as sweet but powerless and of men as tough but insensitive say more about the last phase of the above mentioned history than about men and women as such.
There have been times predating written history in which matriarchal societies were regarded as standard. In those times women also used their energies in a destructive way, being disrespectful of the individual life force and creativity in each human being. There was a time when women had power over men. Women controlled and manipulated men by using the powers of emotion and intuition that they have a natural affinity with. They also used their psychic abilities to control men. For example there were sacrifices and rituals where men were tortured and killed.
I want to stress for your official history that this aspect draws a one sided picture of the relation between men and women. The oppression of woman by man has been evident for the whole period covered by your written history. But the grudge and hatred that men have displayed (and may still display) against women has not come from nothing. In addition to the cultural traditions and habits that influence them, there are also deep emotional wounds in the collective male soul that stem from a much older era.
Without going into detail about this era, I would like to invite you to feel for yourself whether it is possible that you experienced this. For women the question is: can you imagine that you exerted power over men once and that you successfully tried to control their energy? And for men the question is: can you imagine that this took place on a large scale and that you were “the weaker sex?” Maybe you will receive certain images or fantasies by asking this question inside. Let your intuition show you and watch the emotions that surface. This may be surprising.
Within the collective male, soul hatred and resentment had arisen because of this ancient history. This has come out in oppression of the female energy in the area of politics but also in the area of religion, particularly through the church. The idea that sexuality is sinful or at best a necessary evil is a male line of thinking that was influenced by hatred and grudges resulting from the repression of male sexuality in another era. Male sexuality was at that time considered to be an instrument for procreation without respect for the feeling side of men and the emotional ties between a father and his children. Often children were raised by the mother in separation from the father and hardly any attention was paid to what the father thought and wanted. Important values were passed on through the mother figure and the inferiority of men was one such value. Man was a workhorse rather than an equal partner.
In addition to the church being a bulwark of frustrated male energy, the world of science also displays hostility to the female energy. Although science and religion are in many respect natural enemies, they are united in their resistance to the intuitive, flowing aspect of the female energy. The church dogmas are rigid and stifling but the scientific method is limiting too in another manner. While the impetus behind modern science was enlightening and innovative (in the desire to dethrone false authority), it has gotten stuck in a narrow kind of rational thinking that doesn’t allow the female energy to participate. Scientific thinking is analytical and logical but it does not open up enough to the imagination and to extrasensory (intuitive) sources of observation. The aversion that many scientists have to “the paranormal” and to anything that cannot be explained by rational reasoning is however partly due to a soul memory of pain and humiliation dating back to a time when psychic powers were abused by women and were used against them as an instrument of manipulation.
I speak of this ancient history because I would like to make clear that in the “battle of the sexes” there are ultimately no offenders and victims, no “good guys and bad guys,” because you all have been both. It has been a struggle between the male and the female energies in which these energies became opposites, whereas they originally were complementary to each other. In this day and age both men and women are invited to join forces again and to rediscover the joy and honor of the original dance of female and male.
Essentially the female energy is leading and inspiring while the male energy is serving and protecting. The female energy is the inspiration behind any creation; the male aspect takes care of the manifestation in form and action. Both energies work through every human, through every individual, whether male or female. Whether you are a man or a woman is not really relevant; it is the balance and relationship between both energies within you that counts.
Blockages in female sexuality
I will now speak of energy blockages in the area of sexuality which specifically apply to women or men. In women, it is the area of the first and second chakra (tail bone and umbilicus) that is most battered and hurt as a result of sexual oppression and violence over the centuries. For quite some millennia women have been framed into a subservient role in almost all areas of society and this still goes for many places on earth. With regard to sexuality, this inequality manifested as rape, assault and humiliation on a large scale. As a result of this many women, indeed the collective female soul, have suffered incredibly. There are deep emotional wounds which need time, love and utmost care to heal.
Often the drive for sexual union is felt by women as a longing of the heart or as a spiritual feeling. But when they get physically intimate they may find that they cannot express their sexual energy freely because of energy blockages in the first and second chakra. In those energy centers there are (soul) memories of sexuality that was forced upon them and humiliated them. These experiences were so painful that the woman withdrew her energy, her consciousness from the area of the belly. When this part of the body is now approached again in a sexual way, the muscles instinctively tighten or the emotional body automatically signals resistance. The physical cells are aware of the trauma and do not go along so easily with the invitation to dance. They want to shut off and create a barrier to protect you from more aggression. This reaction is utterly understandable and should always be dealt with in a most respectful way. Using any kind of force to take away the resistance is in a way violating the hurt centers again.
When you have these emotions as a woman, it is very important to become fully aware of them; there may be anger there, resistance or fear with regard to physical intimacy. And all of these emotions are often older than the relationship you are in, older even than this lifetime. There may be very old traumas in those lowest chakras that have caused deep emotional scars.
Specifically I would advise women who recognize this pain to get acquainted with lifetimes in which they were the offender/perpetrator (as opposed to victim). Or if you find it difficult to access previous lifetimes, get in touch with the “energy of the offender or powerful woman” inside you. This may sound very strange but the reason is this. When you have been the victim of sexual violence this has caused a lot of anger in your energy field. There may be anger there from several lifetimes. This anger blocks you and keeps you imprisoned in a feeling of powerlessness and victimhood. To release anger you need understanding. You need to understand why and what for; you need to see the larger picture. When you can imagine yourself as a powerful woman who could be merciless and cruel towards men and feel inside that this is also a part of you, then the anger can dissolve. A more thoroughgoing understanding can arise, an inside knowing that you are part of a larger karmic story in which you played both the role of offender and of victim. It is nearly impossible to release your emotions of pain, powerlessness and victimhood without also looking at the other side of you, the “dark side.”
You need not necessarily go back to past lifetimes to recognize this dark part inside you. You can also become more aware of it by watching yourself in your day-to-day life. When you feel this energy (e.g. the will to exert power or hurt others), you can sense that you have not only been the helpless victim of outside circumstances. There is a karmic tie between offender and victim; both roles reflect aspects of yourself.
As soon as you know and accept your dark side, you can look at your own inner wounds in a different way and start to forgive. When there is understanding, anger can dissolve and you can get in touch with the layers of emotions beneath: the sadness, the grief, the pain that is there on many levels, also in the body itself.
It is very important for women to acknowledge the offender aspect in themselves and to work with it. When there is hatred and grudges in you with regard to sexuality, realize that the more hatred and anger you feel, the more you identify with the role of victim and the more you rob yourself of your freedom. Try to feel inside you that in the arena of sexuality a karmic game is being played out in which you have fulfilled both roles, the good guy as well as the bad guy. From there you can get to a place of forgiveness – forgiving yourself as well as someone else. Things happen for a reason. Acts of violence and repression may seem meaningless, but there is always a story behind them. And whenever there is sexual violence involved it leaves deep impressions on all four levels of the human being.
Blockages in male sexuality
With regard to the male experience of sexuality, the blockages that occur are mostly on the level of the heart or the head. At these levels there may be a fear of surrendering, a fear of deep emotional intimacy. Most of the time this fear reaches farther back than you can remember. It relates to the era in which women dominated men. This made the game of sexual attraction, that initially was innocent and spontaneous, threatening. Men learned that it was dangerous to openly show their emotions and open their heart to their partner.
Within men there are deep seated fears about surrendering to their feeling side, and these fears need not necessarily manifest on the physical level. They may participate in the physical act of sex while keeping their feelings separate. So the man may be sexually present at the physical level while his feeling nature is (partially) absent. His emotions are locked away because of his fear to open up and become vulnerable to rejection once again. There are old soul remembrances there of being abandoned and emotionally scarred.
Patience and love
In general the energy blockages are somewhat different in men and women. Therefore it is very important to communicate openly with each other about what you feel and sense when you are together. When you truly trust your partner, you can investigate without shame where your sexual energy gets stuck when you are intimate. This you can do by simply becoming aware, when there is a flow of excitement and intimacy arising between you, to what extent you are allowing yourself to feel and express it. See if you feel stuck or blocked in any part of your body or in any part of your emotions and feelings. Do you feel a warm glow in your heart when you are together? Do you feel a spiritual openness towards the other? Are you prepared to meet the other in his or her totality?
It sounds strange but you are afraid of real intimacy. You all strongly desire a fulfilling relationship. On the streets almost every billboard refers to the ideal of an emotionally and sexually gratifying relationship. But true intimacy frightens you. When someone else comes very close and you are asked to take off all your masks, all kinds of inhibitions arise that you were not aware of. In the moments that they surface try not to judge yourself for it. Instead see it is an opportunity to investigate those inhibitions and blockages within you. No one is free of them. Nearly all people have blockages that prevent them from experiencing sexuality in the full sense that I described in the beginning. That is why I want to ask you all to look at the flow of sexual energy inside you with loving awareness – whether you are alone or in a relationship – and to treat those blockages you find with care and respect. Force is the worst counselor in these matters. Patience and love are vital.
Keep the longing for a true and complete experience of sexuality alive! You need not throw away the baby with the bath water. The desire is sound. The road to a full and joyful experience of sexuality may be long and winding. But along the road you will grow love and compassion for yourself as well as for others, and this is so immensely valuable in your human world.
You are healing an ancient history of struggle between men and women. The male and female energies want to come together again and join in a dance of joy and creativity. Anything that you contribute to this at an individual level has a positive influence on the collective soul of men and women. Your self-love makes the energies of patience and love available for others.