As you step into your day, are you present, or are you hurrying off into a future event? Is your work also your passion or do you work for someone else's dreams? When you eat dinner, is someone there begging for your attention (and your food)? Do you use caffeine as a way to get moving in the morning and stay going? Do you share an office with someone (or with someone's clothes closet)? When you use the bathroom, does the dog (or child) follow you in? While there, is your attention on them or on what you have to do when you leave that little room?
Many of us run at top speed all day, every day, creating for others and giving to others our most valuable asset ... our attention. We do this without consideration of our true desires, our health, well-being or what really works best for us. We give, help, heal and fix others by default.
Marc was a Top-Producer real-estate broker with a Blackberry that was on eighteen hours a day. So was he. He said the Mastering Alchemy free webinars were the only times he relaxed. Even his workouts included fixing and healing his friends' dramas via cell phone. Much of Marc’s time volunteering at the Humane Society was spent texting. He had a busy life helping others fulfill their dreams until finally his focused attention on others began to cause his marriage to falter and his body to wear down and age prematurely. Fortunately, it didn't take much for him to hear the wakeup call. He broke an ankle in a fall and was immobilized for weeks.
Slowing down, re-focusing and re-prioritizing was an enormous challenge for Marc, but one that opened additional doors of satisfaction for him. He realized that he was driven by a belief that he was not valuable, had to work hard for a living and, in order to be liked, had to continuously help others and over-achieve. Using the Rose Tool, Marc identified those habits of behavior based upon that belief and released them. He also identified the people in his life who wanted him to remain the "healer" and "fixer" for them. Marc deliberately began making other choices. He began to create his own "dream-home" of ease, self-respect and family. Home.
Marc is still learning how to create a balanced mix of work and play, quiet and activity. The last time we spoke, he said the Higher Mind Tool has helped him stay discerning and un-charged. He is still a Top-Producer and still works out, but his Blackberry is turned off at 7pm every day.
Self-Coaching Tools to play with
1. Bring greater awareness, and therefore greater choice, to your activities. Ask yourself better questions: What else is going on this moment? How is my attention divided? Who or what is getting the majority of my attention? Am I in the present-time moment or is part of my attention in the future or past?
2. Find something in your life that is already 100% just for you and take a moment to recognize it. Truly own it. Owning means making it yours and yours alone.
a. Make the next bite of food just for you. Close your eyes and roll it around in your mouth - own this tasty moment.
b. Close the bathroom door and take a few breaths that fill you up from the tips of your toes to your scalp. This moment is just for you.
c. Notice when your office is empty and then shift your attention to your body. How is s/he doing right now? What is s/he asking for?
d. As you recognize a moment to yourself, claim it by saying aloud, "I choose to make this (moment, meal, bathroom time, walk, etc.) just for me. I can HAVE this just for me."
As you begin to recognize moments that you can own for yourself, you may be surprised at how many of them you already have during the day. Make this moment just for you. Only you can think your thoughts. Only you choose what receives your attention. You are truly the most important person in your world.