Have you noticed that over the last few months, everyone you know has been in a “growth period” around relationships? This includes, relationships with the other gender, the same gender, the kids, work-mates; relationship with their cars and computers, their bodies, the critters in the house, the houseplants… in fact, everyone and everything. What the heck is going on?
The planet is evolving at an incredible speed, as are all her inhabitants. We are releasing pictures and disrupting patterns in a big way. Everything not created in integrity is being challenged. Humans are intrinsically social beings and the desire or need (there is a difference) for relationship is at the very core of this spiritual evolution. How we create and experience relationships directly mirror our relationship with our Self. Everyone I meet seems to seeking information and assistance in healing, changing and taking command over their outer relationships, and, therefore, is ready to heal their inner relationship. It’s time to celebrate this movement toward wholeness.
Sometimes, however, this movement doesn’t feel like something to celebrate. As our physical and emotional bodies are energetically denser and slower than our spiritual bodies, changes often manifest somewhere between slightly uncomfortable to downright painful. That’s where the mettle of our personal commitment is challenged. How important is it really for me to be aligned with my inner guidance? How much do I really want to be in command of my life? Is all this emotional and physical upheaval really worth it? Isn’t there an easier way?
Getting from here to there can sometimes be an interesting journey. So, what is it that makes it uncomfortable sometimes? The answer is: only one thing - our level of resistance.
Our habits of thought and behavior are very familiar and comfortable, especially in the relationship arena. In fact, these relationship patterns have been part of our operating style for our entire lives. Changing them may sometimes feel like trying to move a twenty-ton boulder with a spoon. It’s actually a lot easier than that.
If we can eliminate our internal resistance that boulder will just tumble and crack into a zillion, spoon-able pieces. The problem is that viewing the entire boulder can be so overwhelming that we stop before we even begin. So, let’s take some baby steps toward the crumbling of this relationship boulder. Keeping it simple makes the entire process of shifting toward healthy relationships easier and more amusing.
Let's begin by looking at one of your current relationships. (No, not the biggest, baddest one, right off!) Let’s begin with one that carries less charge. Noticing where you are with that relationship right now, in this present moment, will give you enormous information about your resistance and patterns. See if you can do this observation from a neutral place, as if you were watching someone else’s drama. Notice the words that fall out of your mouth and the thoughts that run through your head. Simply noticing what you notice about it right now, without doing anything about it, creates a huge step toward the changing, healing and re-patterning of the relationship.
A very telepathic cat lives with us and we developed some patterns of relating. Actually, it was Roxane who had some patterns of relating, which were based upon some very old habits she had collected while growing up. Her cat just simply mirrored them back to her... quite clearly.
When Roxane’s relationship with her cat began many years ago, the cat would always run into the back bedroom the moment Roxane entered the house. Whenever she did this, Roxane would automatically say, out loud, “You better run.” She did this for "no reason." It would just fall out of her mouth. As part of her own spiritual path, she enjoys looking at her patterns, particularly her relationship patterns. So when she noticed this one, she immediately heard her father say the same thing to the chickens he kept out back when Roxane was growing up. There it was! An ancient habit of behavior that was affecting the relationship she had with her cat-friend in present-time.
Roxane didn’t beat myself up about sounding like her dad. In fact she found it quite amusing (an important and necessary component to the healing process—amusement). Since this discovery, she has noticed those words have effortlessly stopped falling out of her mouth when she enters the house, and Bel, her cat-companion, now rolls around on her back, belly-up to greet Roxane, instead of running away.
What a shift!
All it took was for Roxane to notice the pattern from a neutral place. It was utterly effortless and simple. That’s the way it is supposed to be! We humans make it so difficult sometimes.