999 -The Completion of Biological Restructuring

Does this blog make me look fat?

If you are one of the many millions afflicted with what I call AIS (Ascension Inflation Syndrome)...aka, for all you first-wave fatties out there...this one's definitely for you.

I apologize if my tone turns to disgust and discrimination....but none of you slender folk are encouraged to read on. In fact, you will be totally bored anyway because this is going to be one... long... fat... rant.

Oh, and for those of you who thought I had risen above sarcasm...fat chance.

Yep, I am so over the fat thing. And I know I am not alone in this because it has to be one of the most complained about biological aspects of ascension and quite frankly, the one I hate the most. Yes, even more than monkish isolation, heartbreak, loss, chronic fatigue, incessant clearing, lack, financial deprivation, and my favorite...emotional instability.

If this were a contest, fat would win...hands down.

Does this make me sound superficial?

For those of you who are thinking, "well, now that you mention it...", you are clearly one of the skinnies and I plainly stated that this post was strictly for the chubbies. Besides, I assure you that should you yourself try on this bulky fat suit, you too would be nearly repulsed.

And for those of you out there who are thinking of emailing me with advice on organic, raw, whole, vegan/vegetarian eating...save your energy...this fluctuating 20-40 pounds ain't like that.

It's more like this...the more we don't eat, the fatter we get cause our body needs water to safeguard our cells and weigh us down, to keep us grounded and protected from electromagnetic electrocution. That plus the protein cravings are so intense from all the biological changes that even small children look like pork chops.

And if 9++ years of heavy, water-balloon inflation weren't enuf of a struggle to carry around on our already weakened joints...then try tacking on an extra 10 pounds for what just amounted to be the worst 3 months of the worst years of our lives. Just to spin some perspective on this...last I checked, pregnancy is 9 MONTHS. This process has not only been 9 YEARS for most of us, but it has been 9 YEARS stuck in the 3d trimester! Ludicrous.

Seriously here...am I the only one who's morning prayers include NEVER bumping into a childhood friend... or worse, foe?

Luckily I live hours from where I grew up so the possibilities of this are slim...but then there's always facebook and the haunting realization that you could be tagged any minute in a recent photo by some innocent and unsuspecting family member at your cousin Jean's wedding.

I don't know about you people, but some days I look in the mirror (or at a photo that I haphazardly failed to dodge) and it is quite a shocking revelation.

Come to find out, I still don't look ANYTHING like I feel. Do you?

It is quite a bizarre experience, comical even, to have our heads caught in the higher realms and our bodies stuck in the lower ones...and it absolutely requires an ungodly amount of patience and love to wait for our very dense and heavy flesh to match our light and free minds.

Luckily tho, there is a point to all this complaining....I have some relatively good news to share!

Right around the new moon period on the 20th, I started to feel the bottom fall out again. Most everyone around me was complaining of the usual August symptoms of B L O A T I N G, clogged ears/ear pain, sinus headaches, vertigo, weakness/faintness, heart flutters/palpitations, neck & back aches, heartburn/indigestion/nausea lethargy, fatigue, deep creepy sleeps/insomnia, weird dreams, itching/rashes, rage, depression, grief, sadness, crying bouts, irritability and the like...but seemingly with more intensity than usual...so I knew something big was up.

You may have experienced this too, but after spending so many days feeling centered, creatively inspired, and generally aligned with the fast moving new energy (since the eclipse on the 6th) it was pretty jolting to feel my energy level plummet like that again. Mostly because this ascension process transforms us into present-moment idiots where we seemingly forget in the first 5 minutes of feeling good just how ridiculous and awful life has been for a decade...that is until it creeps up and steals our life force again.

So naively shocked that I was "here" again, I did what every person on the path to mastery would do...I had a meltdown.

This didn't last very long because within seconds I was surrounded with an overwhelmingly loving reminder that this was in fact, very temporary and on point with our arrival in the new & true. What I heard was that the new moon that just passed marked the completion of the biological restructure phase for the first wave way-showers/path-pavers/trail-blazers/forerunners.

Apparently our 12 layers of multidimensional perspective were fully activated, rewired and attuned to 5th dimensional frequencies during the time of the new moon/Annual World Conference on Illumination.

These powerful events downloaded the next phase of the divine plan into the lightworker grid and are affecting all who are operating from the new timeline...and, as is the process, we are now slowly integrating these new energies into our bodies and will continue to re-calibrate until the 999 (09/09/09) portal.

So like always, we need to ride this out and see where it takes us. But in the meantime, be sure to listen to your body because most likely it is telling you to LAY DOWN a lot lately. No doubt rest is getting very boring, but it is really the most beneficial thing you can do for yourself right now...our bodies are going through a lot. And remember that if you don't honor your body's requests, most likely you will be knocked down like a bowling pin anyway...so heed your higher call.

Bottom line is this...the hard work is over. As of the June solstice we are no longer required to clear/transmute/dismantle or carry the weight of the lower vibrations ever again. We are exhausted, yes, but dragging ourselves to the finish line...and yes, there is an end to this grueling phase.

If you were one who started to experience the rapid flow of the new energies (new connections/opportunities/abundance) infiltrate your life just after the lunar eclipse and then suddenly STOP, no worries....I was informed that this was just a bleeding crack in the vault, a taste test of what's to come followed by another short period of stillness to finish up last minute details while we complete the biological rewiring.

So if you have not completely set yourself up to handle the new energy, now's the time for those finishing touches. If you're good to go, then just be still while you can because there is an explosion of energy building up right now that is preparing to blow our doors off. (And hopefully our fat suits ; ))

I know because I tested just a few of those new rides and they were more exhilarating than I could have imagined!

Are you ready to play?

In joy,


Kirin Sprong 25th August 2009 6:51 am

Dear Lauren.

You are soooo loveable; especially your direct way of saying things!

I do so much appreciate the love and peace I feel inside, that I take the extra weight for granted. Just rest a lot and see what tomorrow brings.

Thank you (as always) for being YOU.

Love from Holland: Charim aka Kirin

Mutatis Mutandis 25th August 2009 7:15 am

U mean after the 999 portal we'll be sexily divine, smashing, making women jealous and men drooling once again? :D - just tentatively joking hehe.
Lauren, something weird is going on. Amidst all the chaos in pple's lives (the list u enumerated, plus a few other major catastrophes, like deep-rooted issues re-surfacing in an EERIE way, I myself, knowing better, am AMAZED at the exact duplicate of a situation that involved my mother 15 years ago when she was the first witness to her brother's suicide, and now her own son is RE-ENACTING ABSOLUTELY TO THE TEE THE SAME SCENARIO, friends calling me, staying for hours on the phone, complaining, crying about a recurrent lesson they have not gotten over with, my sister having complications in her ovaries and needing a sudden surgical intervention, etc, etc, etc).
So basically, everyone is in a deep mess, but how can you explain to them that it's all in their head and that no one can help except a change of beliefs?
While I look casual, indifferent, making jokes about it even. AH if they could KILL me they wouldn't say no!

gabby millgate 25th August 2009 9:29 am

THANKYOU!!!! i've been sooo tired so needed to lie down my neck feels like its been whiplashed....then a thought occurred to me 2 nights ago...i should be tired because i've had something equivelant to an opperation. So it's easier to "am what I am" when you confirm my suspicions... and it HAS been nine years of wtf!!! you are a great writer, i've alays enjoyed your blogs but now i'm a big fan. more about me on youtube.
best regards
gabby millgate

Life Transformationist 25th August 2009 12:06 pm

Oh my gosh Lauren! This was so perfect and exactly what I needed right now. It fits me perfectly. Nothing I can do will shift this weight and fortunately I decided awhile ago that I am never going to diet ever again. I am on the "I love myself totally and completely and profoundly" life style.

Interesting that I was just starting to feel a shift just in the last day.

I am fortunate that I lost my job a year ago and am able to do some good RRR (Rest, relax and read!) until the Universe tells me my next step as Lightworker. Yeah!

thanks for your humor and sharing.


roxana.bruckner 25th August 2009 4:11 pm


I am grateful to God, to all the living beings on Mother Gaia, and, of course... to YOU.
For a long time now I have been reading your heartfelt messages on Spirit Library. And all of them got straight to my heart. I could feel within my cells the manifesting of the deep words that were meant for us, the readers all over the globe... I then knew that my heart was beautifully teaching me the discernment, and I liked the lessons she taught me. The information coming to us is huge, therefore we must choose and select!

It's simply how I felt and how I'm going on feeling. I just wanted to thank you for all that you do for us, your fellow beings. I am always anxious to receive your messages! I feel so much joy! Thank you with all my heart,


(from Romania, Europe)

jlite 25th August 2009 4:28 pm


This was encouraging and Lighearted...just what I needed!
Thank you.

journey333 25th August 2009 8:14 pm

HOLY CRAP that was priceless!! Lauren, you are my new best friend (LOL!) I so love your posts. But this one takes the cake (yea, why not, we're ALREADY fat so let's have it and eat it too!)



sprague 25th August 2009 8:41 pm

Hi Lovely Friend, nothing wrong with the truth lol, but we are experiencing weight thats cool , im probably a smaller boned man was 73 kgs for last 20yrs never changed no matter what I ate or the beers lol, BUT in the last 5 month im up to 76kg mind you I have intent on the body [temple]. Would like to say you are spot on as I feel the same re enegies I felt in the last few months up til about 2 weeks ago I was on the bliss hi vib roller coaster, & then the brakes went on lol, [but still smiling] so bring on 9/9/9 your pages are fantastic thank you so much for sharing love , peace & blessings to u , love from us in new zealand .. Grant ..

Lucy 25th August 2009 11:21 pm

Love it, you're a pisser (Aussie term for funny in case you haven't heard it!). I'm only small (normally 50kg), so a few extra kilos makes an even bigger difference and it's all around my tummy and I feel like I'm carrying a basket ball!! It's very encouraging that we can soon put on our clothes again and feel like us once more, yippee! Thanks again for telling it like it is. Love ya xx

khameneh 26th August 2009 12:55 am

What a synchronicity, The first car number caught my attention today had a 999.

majicamelman 26th August 2009 6:50 am

was sorta hoping it might mean that I'd finally be able to put some weight ON ! 6ft 11 stone

nancicunha 26th August 2009 8:14 am

Dear sister, i feel like you too, i am so tired right now, no drive what so ever, i feel like crying but i don't.
I hope this channeling will come true and we will better soon. It is noce to know that we are not alone and things may change soon.
All the love to you all


Terry 26th August 2009 10:00 am

Dear Wonderful, Wise & Funny Lauren,

I nearly fell off the stool laughing...that was great! However I do have a question so I hope ur reading these. What are the fininshing touches you referred to in order to be ready to accept the new energy? I know I could generalize or figure it out but.........I'm too tired!!!!! Please just tell me:)

Thank you, Terry

Mys. Terious 26th August 2009 11:50 am

[This comment has been deleted at the user's request]

Ciel 26th August 2009 8:07 pm

:angel: thank u dear lauren, it makes perfect sense.. shine on!

twofeather 29th August 2009 1:10 pm

Thank you for this. It is good to know that I am not alone in this. It is weird....On the 20th I felt achy all over, it was gone by the 25th but since then, I have no energy to do anything. We went camping over that time and now all our stuff sits around the house waiting to be put away. I used to be so compulsive I would have it done within a small time frame, but now I could care less.

I need another nap!!

splat 30th August 2009 12:18 pm

The isolation, torpor, weight gain -- thank you for giving it a context. I just arrived here, and signed up simply to thank you for making clear that it's supposed to work this way.

I needed to hear that. I'm used to being fueled and fired by my intuition, and it has been so quiet.

Celticgrace 31st August 2009 6:29 am

Lauren, thank you for posting this article. I feel like I'm wearing a 10 pound snow suit. LOL I am grateful for your reminder which is a real source of encouragement that keeps me from fainting and becoming weary hearted. I have been sleeping more than I could ever imagine. The protein cravings are unreal. I'm also needing to trim my nails every two to three days (important for a massage therapist.)
Thanks again for shining the light for me and helping me to keep my perspective. Love & blessings, Celticgrace, aka, Pat