Stepping FULLY into Yourself

Warning: this message contains unusually high levels of sarcasm deemed unsuitable for the "seriously spiritual". Not intended for mature audiences. Only seekers with a sense of humor permitted. Proceed with caution and at the risk of experiencing mild to severe side effects which may include: violent laughter, involuntary high-fives & the sudden ability to take things less seriously.

For those of you who made it past my disclaimer, I am confident that you are a vibrational match. I am also confident that I have effectively dissuaded all those who are not with words like humor.

And so, another month came and went.

Many of us watched March and April slip by through our bedroom windows...flattened out and prone-like... as our 5D genetic coding process took over our conscious will to do anything that required more energy than eating yodels or gorging on copious amounts of processed cheese.

Luckily, time now vanishes almost as quickly as our rain much so that a month feels like a week, a week feels like day, and a day feels like an hour...and add to that our rapidly receding memory, and its almost practical to convince ourselves that two months of the flu is really not all that bad.

Which, as the human spirit goes, really speaks volumes.

For example...Did you ever notice, while footslogging your way to higher consciousness, how you are seemingly able to endure MONTHS in the mire of ascension goo, without reprieve, then suddenly experience an unexpected breakthru... if only for a day.... and then think to yourself..."now that wasn't so bad"...?

I have. And I gave that girl a name...the Sadistic OptiMystic. The inner sadist in me must derive pleasure from pain because it is flat out illogical...among other keep trekking onward and base an entire future on 1 or 2 days of fleeting optimism...per month.

And that's actually the point. Where we are going is certainly NOT logical, but luckily for us, only the ill-ogical can lead us there.

Sure, we all get tagged as "delusional" on this spiritual ride to nowhere, but the truth is that our unwavering ability to stay connected to an unseen potential that is so much larger than ourselves (or that most would call a fantasy) is in fact, our... gift?

Yes. This is a gift. (or maybe just a contract we can't get out of alive)

And I will agree that it is tempting to want a normal life, doing normal things...(like staying awake for more than 3 hours at a time), with normal friends who actually e n j o y, of all things, being around people.

But happiness isn't our gift. Its too temporary.

We are the noble warriors of a new age, and as such, we are determined to quash any notion of polarity, which obviously includes resisting the urge of all things temporary...including happiness.

For many on the verge of a new dimensional reality matrix, happy just doesn't work anymore. It isn't enough and it is pervertedly designed to be this way so that we long for more permanence. When we deeply desire to rise above the duality of human experience, we attract new and higher potentials and subsequently ground those potentials into form through suffering...I mean...the total acceptance of what can be.

Because of this, it may seem that our lot in this life is to watch our families and friends enjoy those fleeting moments of happiness while we sit home "holding the space" for them to derive such pleasures, but this is only because we are ready now to break new ground and experience those everlasting streams of goodness that take us far beyond the polarity of good and bad and into the eternal flow of god's grace. And this is a TALL order.

Up until this point, we have been hoping, wishing and praying for the kind of world that we fit into and for most of the journey...and in blind faith...we depended on people (like me : ) to channel the information of our future so that we could confirm our sanity...or at least confirm that we weren't alone in crazy.

Now however, we are rapidly approaching a time when even the channelings we once depended on will seem obsolete and empty in comparison to the experience of our individual authenticity and full truth. In other words, we are FULLY stepping into ourselves, revealing the core of who we are while not making excuses for it, and coming fully on-line to connect with the world and the people that we have been longing for...for so long.

I am being shown that these next two months will be the physical transition into everything and all that we have intended for and that during this phase, lightworkers, indigos and starseeds of the first brigade are unplugging from all external support systems to become completely self-sustained in our own vehicles of light. And while we may not yet be able to connect with what that means in totality, we are being assured that the relentless challenges of the physical resurrection process will seem paltry in comparison.

To put this in perspective, the Pleiadian High Council asks us to imagine what kind of a reward warrants 7-9 years of intense collective focus toward a common goal?

By energetic law, meaning vibrationally, this is huge. They describe it relative to a vibrational savings bond with an exorbitant interest rate that the universe pays each time we feed it with a new intention. And the best part is that when this bond finally matures, we can cash it in and retire : )) And at the risk of waxing cheeky...that is the only type of economy that we will be able to bank on.

Celestially speaking, we have some major events worth mentioning this month:

Mercury went retrograde on the 6th and will turn direct on the 30th. If you can get out of bed, this is an excellent time to wrap up your past, revisit your purpose, and revise any plans regarding the set up of your new systems of abundance...that is to say those authentic pathways and connections of soul integrity that will sustain you in the new and true. (hint: those things that bring you the most joy)

Beneath the goo of re-calibration there is actually a supportive flow of grounded, focused constructive, practical, get-things-done Taurus energy that will carry you forward if you can find a way to tap into it. Come June, when things begin to flow freely again, you will be happy you did.

The full moon in Taurus (also known as the Wesak/Buddha moon of enlightenment) is on May 8th and is already bringing us more intensified energy to complete our physical resurrection process, as mentioned in the last update. This has been causing an unusual amount of biological detoxification so if your feeling like you're in the last trimester of pregnancy, or just plain uncomfortable in your own skin, know this is a MAJOR download and kicking up a lot of toxic debris in the purification process.

Note: Because lightworkers have the tallest human antennas, we receive the highest frequencies first. These energies come barreling down the spine and into the earth and must rapidly clear out any remaining density or toxicity in the way of inhabiting our full light. This recent download is hell-bent on grounding our physical bodies to the earth, so there is a lot of soreness along the spine, neck, and especially the lower back, legs and knees coupled with organ and intestinal clearings and all the accompanying accoutrement... like bloating/weight gain, skin rashes and itching, unreasonable hunger, indigestion/heartburn, sore throat & joints, inappropriate perspiration, etc, etc. Also, and depending on if you are more developed in your male (right) or female (left) energy, you may be experiencing more discomfort on one side or the other in the biological process of merging these polarities. This system upgrade will eventually enable a consistent and even flow of both these energies within us, which is paramount for cocreation.

We also have an important triple conjunction of Chiron and Neptune with Jupiter that will culminate on the new moon in Gemini on May 24th. Barbara Hand Clow says that Chiron and Neptune serve to "bring the higher self into space and time", which is ultimately what the personal ascension process is all about... becoming fully grounded in our physical bodies while simultaneously aligned with our higher self.

After this triple conjunction, and when Mercury turns direct at the end of the month, our physical surroundings will shift again to align with the upcoming events of June that will finally present the workings of our inner-most desires in our outer world.

So as we continue to be prepped, purified & primed in every imaginable way, we are really readying to participate in the world according to our original divine blueprint. Where we are now is very unnatural to us and where we are heading will finally feel like home. And as we wobble in and out of these conflicting dimensional fields, losing our linear perspective of time & space, we will continue to experience both worlds as one until we are fully anchored and stable in the new and true.

In the meantime, try to let go of any resistance to the process by knowing you are well cared for & by surrendering to what is. Above all else... do anything humanly possible to feel good.

Oh yeah...and don't forget to backup your files!

In kindness,


Rhiannon 8th May 2009 6:37 am

Thank-you, Lauren! Very well said, appropriate to the time and I am so glad to have some humor on the subject! and valuable information!

ninaferrell 8th May 2009 6:43 am

What an amazing relief to know that I have not lost it, gone weird, left the planet while sleeping, acquired some really strange disease for which there is no cure (in fact, this is pretty close to the truth) - that I am simply going through ascension... Why isn't there a way for me to have an innocuous cup of tea with a group of like minded people and have a little chit chat about our ascension difficulties????

Much love, great relief and laughter..

Nina 8th May 2009 8:06 am

I so love your wit and wisdom. Yes we are indeed stepping into ourselves. For those who are courageous and willing to dig deep, feel the emotions and release the pain of the past, the future is magnificent. At that point we no longer need to hold a space, we become the space. Fully connected to God and joyfully held by the earth. Our spirituality becomes embodied and oh how much fun this is. We enter the field of highest potential. As this unfolds we are able to be open and receptive to receive all that is good.

Wishing you much love and blessings as you bless others with your wonderful insights

Debbie Milam

LtWrkr2008 8th May 2009 9:47 am


Thanks for the insight. I appreciate your humor and honesty. You made me laugh and that is so important in the midst of all the craziness of the ascension process. Be blessed.

Bev Stewart

StefanieN 8th May 2009 10:22 am

Hi Lauren,
You have no idea how much I needed this now. I have nearly all the 'ascension' symptoms - and being 34 pounds overweight is no picnic - especially when I know that I'm actually eating much less than 12mths ago - my body seeming to say 'What? More food, already?'. Like you I too feel 'Well, that was OK really', when I have some days of feeling nurtured by 'Spirit', when actually I've been in bed for 4 years while I 'cleared' tons of negative energy from early traumas, ancestors etc. 'Masochistic Molecule (Molly)' I think I'll call myself :-()! Many other things needed sorting out too,& for me, I feel I'm just about there - so what you say about 'timing' feels right too. When my tiredness with all the changes gets really bad, that's when 'Negativity' has a field day and the doubt really kicks in - is all this for something or nothing - where is the 'proof'?! This morning was like that until your timely message which resonated & was funny/serious . Thankyou and the Pleiadians so much.

StefanieN 8th May 2009 10:30 am

To Nina,
Here, here. Sometimes I feel I'm the only 'weirdo' around - my family is very 'supportive' but they don't believe a word of it!! I'm just going to make a drink and I will drink to us all -Cheers!
Love and Light-Days now and in the future, Stefanie.

Kirin Sprong 8th May 2009 10:31 am

Oh deeeeeaaaaarrrrr Lauren!

How I love you for just (very straight forward and honestly)
being what you are!!!! If you feel something coming in, it is just a biiiiiggg bunch of wild flowers I picked for you energetically (first asked the flowers' consent ofcourse and they gladly come your way......)

Lots of love from Kirin in Holland

Suiteone 8th May 2009 11:17 am

Oh Thank you Dear One! I have been feeling like I am morping into a cat. Go to work...nap for hours then go to
bed. I am hopeful that one of my dimensions is actually working on something delicious and inspirational while
this 3D self is zoned out.

vanessaj 8th May 2009 11:27 am

Thank you so much for your message - you are hilarious! I haven't laughed that much in months, maybe longer, and as I laughed I felt like I was releasing energy that needed to go, and actually feel much better. Laughing at myself and this situation seems just like what is needed. Just 5 minutes ago I was cranky, irritable and had a bad attitude and something was telling me to read this, you'll feel better, and sure enough! So just wanted to say thank you for the uplifting message and the much needed humor.

Ria 8th May 2009 1:31 pm are simply THE BEST!! Thank you so much for this and for all your messages that have helped so many of us survive.
Sending so much love and light

Ria xxx :smitten:

Gaia 8th May 2009 4:14 pm

Ehehe.. Thankyouuuuuuuu~ <3

Rob 8th May 2009 5:35 pm

Wanna hear something crazy ? ( Of course you do ! ) As i was reading this, a song came on Pandora ( The online radio station ) by a band called The panic attacks and the song was called a return to grace and the album was called Your new life starts now. Crazy, and im not even high.

Funny you should mention the back up files, a freind gave me back my pc, after wiping the whole thing and re-installing windows, only now my pc doesnt have any sound lol.

Lia Tomco 8th May 2009 9:56 pm

I feel like an ant pushing a boulder up a mountain at times, in terms of blocking out cynics or faithless people...I have to keep being reminded by my guides that everyone is at different development phases, and you can not yell at an infant to sprint a marathon. But as a Guardian Healer and Indigo it is extremely hard to block other people's negativity on an hourly basis. I've had to cleanse myself and spaces 3+ times a day. It gets to a certain point where you DO have to shut off the cynics and ignore them. We have to be responsible as psychics, mediums, etc. etc. and preserve our own energy in order to be of use to the universe later. There is a sickly epidemic of naysayers and dare I say it..Atheists...that are trying to undo the fabric of light and take away Its validity. However, We did not create the Spirit, therefore we can not destroy it. No amount of negativity can undo a truth. You are SO right, and I am glad to see it in print! Yes, there is an evolution going on, and a lot of destruction and vile behavior often happens before a purge. Patience to all :smitten:

angelk 8th May 2009 10:17 pm

Yes, grateful for your sense of humor and your wisdom in describing sloggin through all of this. I can say, I am anxiously awaiting June and all that has been romised as we carry the light for so long for so many. If anyone has any ways to clear negativity from us, I would be so grateful, it is feeling overwhelming lately and I'm looking for some relief! and I'd like some before June! Thanks so much!

new_birth77 8th May 2009 11:10 pm

Lauren,...girl....this is so right on TIME right NOW!!! You really spoke truth, because today I was having a really hard time just being around people and I just came home and read this and....all I can say is...YEP!..something has got to give..because I just can't relate. And I don't think anything is wrong with me,...I just can't relate to the world as much anymore. So, to be sarcastic/humorous like you--I'm going to give your message and especially these sentences below 2 snaps up in a circle...and like RuPaul would say, you'd betta work!

"And I will agree that it is tempting to want a normal life, doing normal things...(like staying awake for more than 3 hours at a time), with normal friends who actually e n j o y, of all things, being around people.But happiness isn't our gift. Its too temporary."


yewwisdom 9th May 2009 10:09 am

Hey Lauren-You're such a breath of fresh air and your wicked sense of humour really brightens my day and cheers me up. Your description of the catalogue of ascension symptoms is spot-on and I'm so happy to know that I'm not the only one going through them.(On a bad day the other week I was imagining all sorts of terrible things could be wrong with my physical body!)My family don't get why I am so tired all the time and they were urging me to go to the doc and get tested,saying that it wasn't "normal"to feel the way I feel. But instead I set myself the task of taking my vitamins, getting three square meals,an hour of exercise and ten hours sleep instead. It seems to be helping. I'm glad not to be working at the moment because my energy is so low and my focus non-existent, and besides I'd never have the free time necessary to be so gentle with myself.I guess every cloud has a silver lining-eh? The prospect of new energy is very attractive and that mention of an end to the years of struggling is the light at the end of the tunnel.I look forward to a life of ease and joy!

Rob 9th May 2009 2:18 pm

There is always chocolate.

Especially chocolate eggs.

Personally im ho ping for nice clean waves without a crowded line up, that's my chocolate.

k 11th May 2009 12:21 am

WOW, I have not been keeping up on the spiritlibrary messages, just reading, thinking and journaling, but managing to take the dogs to the pastures for quick walks despite the fatigue for the past 3 days. I know I need to restart yoga and excersise more. But, I am amazed at how many other people have had the same experience I have had the past two months. I could not stand the negative feelings I suddenly was overwhelmed with and ended my career as an ER physician early April. How incredibly illogical. Since then I have had time to research knowledge from the ancient mystics. Joined an energy healers group. The caring energy and support from the people in that group helps. Have invested in Hemisync tapes,and am trying to learn lucid dreaming so I can remember my dreams better. Just as well make all that sleep time useful. A lot of meditation. But, more than anything else, music, constant music (Liquid Mind, Arkenstone, Gandalf, Aeoliah, Deuter, 2002, Mike Rowland etc.) But as the rest of us, there are days when I think I am about to crawl out of hell and the splatt, back down.

k 11th May 2009 12:51 am

But, people going through these dark phases should understand the Dark Night of the Soul. Most Mystics go through this, I am not sure why. I suspect that it has to do with learning life lessons and getting in touch with our higher self and our life purpose. It is also about dealing with the suffering we are aware of in the "world" around us. So, I figure the best way out of this is to work as hard as I can on myself so I can do my part to make this a better world. It is not easy. For me I think the answer is detachment from things of this world and a full committment to God and the goal of doing my part. I was at that point in Jan and Feb, but allowed myself to get tangled up again in things of this world and I lost the euphoria/bliss. So, back into hell for more training I fell. We may be mired in the mud, but I think everyday we should fight to find the answers to get unstuck. Meditaion to get in touch with our higher self. This is a quest where the hero has to go through trials, fight battles, learn lessons to make a better world for all creatures. Are we heros or whimps?

k 11th May 2009 9:21 pm

Or, will we come out of this Dark Night of the Soul without going through the process of detaching from this world and focusing on our connection to God? Will this occur spontaneously or do we have to do the work on training our brain, meditation, prayer? Maybe I have been working too hard, but I want out of this really, really bad. I wonder if the DNotS makes us so miserable that we want to die so that we decide to give up on the things of this world and die to this world. Or, is it just the darkness before the dawn and we really do not have to go through the spiritual process. But, then in the stories, the hero does not just hide in the dark forest waiting to be rescued. He faces the monsters and works is way out of the darkness.

Lucy 12th May 2009 11:56 pm

Lauren, you are my kind of spiritual chick - a talented channeller, but very real and grounded at the same time! Love the way you put things. I can so relate to not being able to get out of bed-can't wait to feel energetic again. Thanks heaps for your continued messages that help so much to put it all in perspective and helps to explain what the hell is going on!! :laugh