A resentment is a grudge that you harbor after you've felt mistreated. It's easy to hold on to all the incidents that angered you, from a gossiping hairdresser to a two-timing ex-husband. And, if you took a poll, you'd probably get a lot of people on your side about your right to stay resentful. According to such logic, as time passes, you have "the right" to get angrier, becoming a broken record of complaints. But is that the sour person you want to be?
As a psychiatrist, I've seen how intense sexual attraction is notorious for obliterating common sense and intuition in the most sensible people. Why? Lust is an altered state of consciousness programmed by the primal urge to procreate. The brain in this phase may be much like a brain on drugs. MRI scans illustrate that the area that "lights up" (becomes active) when an addict gets a fix of cocaine is the same area that "lights up" when a person is experiencing the intense lust of physical attraction.
Your body is programmed for survival. Heeding early warnings protects your health. Familiarize yourself with how your body speaks to you. It wants you to be well. It will tell you if you are not. Hippocrates wrote over two thousand years ago, "There is a measure of conscious thought throughout the body." This is practical wisdom you can live by.
As a psychiatrist, I realize that comparing is a natural tendency we all have. It can be absolutely neutral, as when you merely evaluate similarities and differences. Such comparison is essential for astute reasoning. It’s also productive if you’re inspired to emulate another’s impressive traits.
In my practice as a psychiatrist and in my personal life, I've known many people whom I call "emotional gushers." Gushers are experts at knowing their emotions and were born to share them. No one has to wonder where they're at. Elated, bored, miserable, they tell you. What you see is what you get. They tend to be spontaneous, direct, authentic and trusted confidants. The gusher unloads stress by verbalizing it.
Empaths are highly sensitive, finely tuned instruments when it comes to emotions. They feel everything, sometimes to an extreme, and are less apt to intellectualize feelings. Intuition is the filter through which they experience the world. Empaths are naturally giving, spiritually attuned, and good listeners. If you want heart, empaths have got it. Through thick and thin, they’re there for you, world-class nurturers.
Loneliness gets to some more than others. But why it hangs on isn't always apparent when read by traditional medical eyes. In my practice and workshops I've been struck by how many sensitive, empathic people who I call "emotional empaths" come to me, lonely, wanting a romantic partner, yet remaining single for years.
In "Emotional Freedom" my approach to transforming fear has two stages. First, take stock of what makes you afraid and distinguish irrational fears from legitimate intuitions. Second, take appropriate steps to heed protective fears and transform the others with courage. At times you may foresee real danger, but more frequently unproductive fears clobber you.