Deep Soul Diving
On this journey, there comes a time where we realize that most of what we’ve been taught and learned are untrue. As beliefs and patterns fall away under our scrutiny, we come to beliefs that we cling to as part of our identity. It takes courage to examine beliefs that we have held onto in our search for truth. Maybe everything is false and the only truth we can know is our own unique Soul vibration.
During July and August, I was contemplating what it would be like to move beyond belief into a state of pure being. At times I felt like I was in a state of expansion and emptiness, like a river that flowed out to a delta where there were no banks of beliefs to hold it any longer. My awareness was dispersing into a shallow sea. The sun shining through the crystal clear waters loosened dense energetic thought patterns and beliefs as I went about my life feeling like I was flickering in and out of a dream state. I was taking care of the daily tasks while doing my best to maintain inner stillness, and at the same time feeling detached, witnessing the world and sometimes being drawn in to the surreal drama of world events, which magnetically tug at us all. Then, when that got to be too much, which it is (!), I would dive deep under the mayhem to find quiet, regain stillness and come back to myself.
Towards the end of August, a wave of energy was building, which came to a crest and broke in September. Churning white water carried us into overwhelm through mid September into October. We could hold on to the busy plans we made or let go and release our over-doing into the moment of our presence. Over-doing can come from wanting to be perfect, to be super-human, to be loved. This time has offered us the opportunity to examine why we make the choices we make – to see what is at the foundation of our decisions.
The flow of nature and our own energy forced us into positions where we had no choice but to let go. Injuries, illness, relationships ending, loved ones passing away, having to move, sudden changes and shifts in direction came through, showing us the wisdom of surrendering to what is.
The last week of October brought serious compression, due to solar activity, where we’ve had the opportunity to do some deep Soul diving, healing issues long held in our energy at a soul level. Memories and old feelings have been coming up and releasing through us. Even energy from other lifetimes that has been held within our Soul’s energy field, affecting the shine of our Higher Selves has been coming up for clearing. “The Shine” means our joy, our full-genius vibrancy – the radiance of the truth of our being. The dense energy looks like shadows around our Higher Self, which obscure our inner light (truth) from shining.
We have been clearing what isn’t our truth from the deepest part of our being for years and we are going deeper and deeper with this clearing. It is happening so fast now that there isn’t much time for wallowing because the next wave is rolling in! And there’s no point in holding onto or examining the memories (frequencies) that are being released because, at this point, not only is the energy clearing at the level of other lifetimes of our Soul’s expression, but we are clearing the energy of the Collective – patterns and beliefs – going, going, gone! Because of this, as the frequency accelerates, we no longer feel attached to the stories – the energetic debris – being released. That is the gift of processing all the pain we’ve moved through in different ways for so many years. Just think of yourself as you were 10 years ago, or 15 years ago. What’s that like? Have you changed much? Is your life and your feelings about life any different?
The Journey of Remembrance
The goal of Awakened Human Beings is to embody our Soul Essence completely and to do so has taken us on the journey of remembering who we are. As we move forward on this journey we have had to release patterns of behavior that do not allow our Soul expression to thrive. As we go further into our awakening, we find that we have to release habitual thinking and thought forms. This can be quite challenging. All of life is expanding and our Soul Essence is birthing through us. As we struggle with this expansion and contraction, we feel our Soul filling us with our essence, pushing at our fearful boundaries, revealing what is holding us back from thriving. It is emotionally painful to witness ourselves habitually making choices out of fear, which inhibits the full expression of what is within us.
Moving Beyond Belief
Our Soul essence has never not been part of who we are. Through the experience of being introduced to the world from birth, having the world described to us by others, we begin to shape ourselves to fit the paradigm by gathering to us beliefs and patterns. This is how the structure of life in this timeline was set in place like the bars of a prison, which were of a density that did not allow the Light of our Truth to shine. The paradigm that is changing at this time is actually the bars of that prison that has kept us from shining the light of our Soul completely and fully. The prison bars are crumbling. Sometimes those prison bars give us a false sense of security, and that’s when we argue for our own imprisonment. Allowing ourselves the emptiness of non-belief – in other words, moving beyond belief – brings with it a great sense of freedom, a loosening of identity, and even feelings of mirth.
There is so much that we Human Beings are capable of doing and we are getting glimpses of this Vastness of Consciousness through our personal experiences of enhanced intuitive guidance, telepathy, clairvoyance, clairaudience, clairsentience, kinetic abilities, and even time travel, just to name a few aspects of our totality.
We are witnessing the world falling apart. The house of cards that makes up our governments, monetary systems, societal ideals, health care systems, patriarchal oppression of women and this beautiful earth, are dissolving in the light of truth. The chaotic energies can throw us off our center and it’s very challenging but necessary to pull our focus back in to our center, to our unique vibrational frequency. It’s hard not to let the vibrational frequency of other people and situations knock us off our center. When this happens, we need to breathe, get into a creative pursuit, spend time alone, do mindful exercise – whatever it takes to bring ourselves back into our own inner clarity.
Loving What Hurts Us
Recently in Savasana (relaxation pose after a yoga practice) I went to a deep place and it was like I was traveling into a terrain that didn’t feel good. It felt old and stuck, unconscious, unhappy, unworthy. It was like I was on a walkway in a cavern and came to a place that felt oppressive. I knew I had to keep going forward but the tunnel I was to enter was almost swollen shut. It was undulating and inflamed. I said “I don’t’ want to be here” and a voice said, “Wait, just be with this. Love it for a moment.” And then I realized this is a place within me – it feels like a street in a city that you wouldn’t want to walk down – a lonely place, a creepy place, a place of neglect and abandonment. Hardship. Grief. Shame. Guilt.
Most of us carry oppressive energy that has accumulated from many lifetimes, encrusting in our Soul energy, clinging to our Higher Self. (Soul is a little “further out” from the physical and Higher Self is a little “further in” – closer to the physical plane.) In my experience, I was sensing and remembering choices, feelings, emotions, and beliefs that were creating patterns that repeated over and over, lifetime after lifetime. I resisted but a message came through: Stay with this. Love this. See if it softens and opens up to the well of fear that is at the base of all the attachments that cling to this energetic vibration of oppression. This energy is magnetic, drawing in feelings, beliefs and experiences of like vibration.
When we allow love to be there in the midst of painful feelings, it helps release the habitual magnetic attraction to powerlessness and victimization. Love slowly seeps in to loosen attachments to what no longer exists. The high frequencies that are being amplified all around us assist in raising us up, accelerating the rate of spin in our energy field like a centrifuge, offering up feelings and memories, “Look at this…. Feel this… Love this…” Witness whatever comes up. Love it all truly and see it dissolve. As we release and rise higher, the next feeling, thought, memory comes. Can you love this, too? Stay the course, bringing love to the dark, swollen inner landscapes you do not want to go to. Love this, and this, and this.
I have chosen Ahimsa as my practice. In every moment. Ahimsa – non-violence. Practicing Ahimsa begins with being mindful of my thoughts and noticing when I am thinking violent thoughts, which could simply mean self-criticism. Focusing on non-violent thoughts diffuses all criticism, whether towards myself, or others, or a situation I might be in. Eventually this leads to non-attachment to expectations.
I looked up Ahimsa on the Internet and found an article with this quote from Buddha:
“The thought manifests as the word; The word manifests as the deed; The deed develops into habit; And habit hardens into character. So watch the thought and its ways with care, and let it spring from love born out of concern for all beings… As the shadow follows the body, as we think, so we become.”
There is much violence in the world and adding to it are the violent words and energies that are moving through social media. Remember, everything is being amplified at this time, so practicing Ahimsa will assist us all in dealing with the falling apart of things. We are energy receivers and transmitters, so it is up to us to be mindful. Transmitting love, through the practice of Ahimsa, will help raise the energetic frequencies and when enough people are doing this practice, the violence in this world will transform. It’s all energy; it’s about transformation and it begins within ourselves.
It seems everywhere we turn, there is something screaming for our attention – the Earth and Humanity are calling out for love. Sometimes love may seem too benign, as if love is not enough of an action. However, when we are united through Ahimsa, love becomes an active, powerful force. It isn’t something we “make” happen; it’s not something that can be forced. It simply grows out of our own individual practice of self-love and gains momentum. When we meet others who are, in their own way, practicing Ahimsa, we entrain (or synch) to each other’s energy and then the energy is uplifted.
A simple principle of physics is that when two objects are entrained with each other, they use less energy, and when two objects are not in synch, more energy is expended.
Sending the vibration of love through the ethers – you might call it prayer – to those that are vibrating with anger and fear will help to diffuse the density. Just as we are called to love those aspects of ourselves that are in fear; those aspects we have rejected, we can love the situations and people in the world that are in fear.
All living beings carry the spark of Divine Spiritual Energy. This is what we can connect to when amplifying the intention of love to all beings – including the ones we don’t agree with – the ones we don’t understand, the ones who seem to be upholding violence, hatred and intolerance. Ahimsa allows us to be love… to radiate love from and to the core of being within all of life. It begins within ourselves. May all beings be happy and free, and may my thoughts and actions contribute to that freedom for all.
Nancy Leilah Ward
Copyright © 2020 by Nancy Wallace Ward (aka Leilah). All rights reserved for my original images and written material. Permission is granted to freely redistribute this article as long as it is kept intact and the author’s name and website www.integralsoul.love are included.