Looking at your Significant Other

Over the past several months we have been looking here at the Holy Experience and yourself. Now let's look at the Holy Experience and your significant other.

Everyone has a significant other--whether they are in an intimate, romantic relationship or not. Of course, the term "significant other" does not refer only to a person with whom you sleep. It refers to any being with whom you share the largest portion of your life. That could be a sister or brother, a parent, a child, a close friend.

When discussing the Holy Experience and yourself, I said: "Always, with your choices, you are answering a single question: Who am I? Every act is an act of self-definition. When you embrace the implications of that sentence utterly, you begin the process of the Holy Experience with your Self."

Now I am going to say the same thing, only as it pertains to your significant other.

Always, with your choices, you are answering a single question: Who is this other? Every act involving another is an act of definition of the other. When you embrace the implications of that sentence utterly, you begin the process of the Holy Experience with your significant other.

Everyone is who you say they are. If you say they are your best friend, they are. If you say they are your enemy, they are. If you say they are your most trusted companion, they are. That is because you are the one doing the deciding.

Other people tend to show up in our lives exactly as we think that they will. Even if they don't in their world, in our world they do. This is another way of saying that if you have a definite thought about someone, it almost does not matter what they do. You will still think of them in the way that you do.

Have you ever noticed how two people can have nearly polar-opposite experiences of the same third party? One person says that the third person is wonderful, while the other says that the third person is horrible. Both are right, for both have created their experience of that third person in their reality.

It doesn't matter what that third person does. In fact, that third person can do the exact same thing to both of the others, and one of the others will think it's wonderful while the second will think it's horrible. I've actually seen this happen!

I saw a person bid $10,000 once at a local charity auction, and two people with whom I am acquainted saw it in entirely different ways. The first thought it was wonderful and incredibly generous; a typical gesture of a very kind and open-hearted man. The second thought it was show-offy and incredibly gauche; a typical "over the top" gesture by an ego maniacal power grabber and attention-getter.

It has always seemed to be that The Holy Experience has to do with always seeing the Other in the highest possible light, with the highest possible motives--and even if they are making a "mistake," or behaving "badly" in our estimate, that we hold them in compassion and forgiveness and love.

And we'll continue to look at this as our exploration of The Holy Experience proceeds in this space next week.

Hugs and Love,
Neale

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Author Information

Neale Donald Walsch

Neale Donald Walsch is a modern day spiritual messenger whose words continue to touch the world in profound ways. With an early interest in religion and a deeply felt connection to spirituality, Neale spent the majority of his life thriving professionally, yet searching for spiritual meaning before beginning his now famous conversation with God.

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