My Disciples, Then and Now

Beloved one, I will continue with my life story. It was most enjoyable to have some time with Mary—Mariam—before I began to know the guidance to teach, to share. I did not just come back from India and Tibet and begin my “ministry”. There were some years there where I had the family life. That is not recorded in your Bible. The Bible skips over quite a bit. It was during this time in which my biological father, Joseph, passed on, and it was questioned in the family that since I was the oldest son, according to Jewish culture I should take over the family affairs and stay at home with my focus on the family. But I knew, and the family knew as well, that this was not my divine purpose.

So my brother James took over that responsibility, which freed me to begin what has become known now as my ministry. I never called it my ministry. I called it my sharing with friends. Anyone who wanted to dig deeply into understanding themselves and understanding life was my friend, was my family.

There was a certain energy about me that called to friends to be with me, and this has been recorded as choosing my disciples. Now, in truth, I did not choose my disciples. They chose me. They felt an energy. They felt a contagion, if you will, of lightheartedness that went beyond the heaviness of the world, and they knew that I had something to share with them that would impact their life.

So they wanted to be with me, the same as you feel with certain friends. You want to be with them because they are of like mind, they are of like heart, and they laugh at the same things you laugh at. They question the same things you question, and there is an easiness of family, if you will, a higher family than just the biological family. You make trek to be with ones of like mind and to be able to laugh and to joke and to ask questions, the deep questions that perhaps the other friends are not interested in.

Ones were choosing to be with me, and you have a listing of the twelve disciples. Now, I have shared with you before and I will share with you again that there were more than twelve, and they were not all men. There were many women who wanted to learn of what I had discerned. As you have come to understand, your Bible is a good record book, but it does not tell the whole story. There were actually more women disciples than men—I won’t call them disciples; they were friends. So as I have said, I did not choose the disciples. They chose me. And they were willing to follow a certain discipline.

They were willing to take upon themselves a discipline of seeking, of going deeper, of sitting in the silence and asking for guidance, of following that guidance even if it did not seem to be the easiest in human terms.

There is an energy about every idea, and you can feel that energy. Some ideas get you really excited, really turned on to the point where you want to know more and you seek other people and other books which will allow you to go deeper with the questioning. It leads you to a place of freedom. It leads you to the place where you know Who you truly are. Once you reach that place where you catch hold of that knowing, you are free.

That is what you are seeking. You are seeking to know your freedom. You are seeking to know that you do not have to be dictated to by the world and by the body and by the culture and the generational teaching; that truly you are divine; that you are the Light that we speak of so often.

There were ones who were drawn to me who traveled everywhere with me. And as I have said, it was more than just the twelve men. There were many women as well. In this day and time you are seeing the rise of what is called feminine power coming forth from the gender that has the body made as a woman, but also within the male gender the feminine side is coming to the forefront to a balance so that you are coming to a place of integrating all of you, every part of you.

There is a movement for equality gaining strength now, no matter what the body looks like or what kind of plumbing the body has, a feeling of understanding of equality and bringing forth the feminine qualities in expression in both the male and the female.

Two thousand years ago there were ones who were seeking to know, sometimes feeling that the physical body they had created was not exactly an out-picturing of who and what they were. There were ones who experienced some of the questioning by themselves and by the friends, so that again you are repeating a process and coming to a place of evolution, of coming to a place of balance, of equality, of loving and being in love, in a state of love with each and every one of your friends, no matter the appearance.

It is most wonderful to look upon physical appearance and to see the uniqueness that each one brings to the physical incarnation. There is a generality of form. There is a generality of personality. But within that there is much difference of expression.

So in what is termed my ministry, the three years that I traveled around the country with the ones who were attracted to my teaching and to the energy of that teaching, in those three years Mariam traveled with me. Friends, very deep close friends as all of you are, traveled with me, heard my words, discussed my words, said, “Well, he meant such and such.” “No, he meant….”

There were many good discussions, and oftentimes it would be the women who said to the men, “Look; just go with the feeling of the heart. Stop trying to live in the mind and make everything balance out in the mind. Go first to the heart.” Sometimes the men listened and sometimes they did not. And that is still true. Sometimes there were women who wanted everything to be analyzed and have everything fit neatly into little boxes. But love does not fit into a box. It overspills the edges. That is what love is all about—expansion and overfilling.

When you get into the place of love, you do not even consider that there might be a box, because you are so caught up in the feeling of expansion that truly there cannot be any boundaries to it. You are just alive in that energy and you want more of it, and that is what the multitudes were seeking when they came and walked with me and met on the various hillsides and I spoke to them of the love of the Father.

As much as they could accept, they did accept, and they came back for more because it felt good. Then they went out as the ripples on a pond, and they touched the lives and the thinking of their friends, the ones in their villages, the ones in their family if the family would be receptive. Sometimes the family was not receptive at that time, but there were seeds planted that grew in later lifetimes.

As you have seen, there are the seeds of ideas, and sometimes they will grow and flower and there will be fruit. Other times they lie dormant for a while, maybe for some lifetimes until the individual has completed whatever they thought they wanted to know more about. And then there will come the seed growing in the consciousness.

You are the seed planters. You are the ones who allow the seeds to be given, and it is not your responsibility to make those seeds grow. It is only your job to happily share them with the brothers and sisters and let the seeds fall where they fall, and let them grow in time whenever the time is right. So in those three years, there were many people who caught a glimpse of heaven and how heaven could be upon Earth and ones could live in love and equality and even simplicity with brothers and sisters. Many lives turned around and changed because of a word or two or a gesture.

Many of the ones returned to hear more when they knew I was going to be in the area, because they wanted to know and experience that feeling of being accepted and being loved and being okay; the same as you have right now with the brothers and sisters. All of them are looking for acceptance, looking for love, looking for true friendship and understanding. You go about your lives and it seems like an easy, simple thing to do sometimes just to smile at someone, and it may change their life forever; just a simple smile. You say, “Well, that doesn’t cost much.” Not to you, but to the one receiving it, it can mean everything.

Now, I have clarified some information about the disciples— more than twelve, more than just men. I enjoyed the men. There was great camaraderie with the men, but I also enjoyed the women and their questioning and their love and their understanding. The disciples were called disciples because they were willing to take upon themselves the discipline of living in love and spending time in the silence renewing the love of Self.

The three years of what has been called ministry were three years of sharing. I did not call it a ministry. I did not feel myself to be above the ones who came to hear what I had to share. I did not know ahead of time what I was going to share, but I knew Who and What the brothers and sisters were. If I could give them a glimpse of that, they could catch that image and know themselves to be whole.

The understanding happened on the emotional level; it also happened on the physical level, and that is why there were physical healings, because once they caught a vision of the divinity of themselves, the power of love, then the physical healing had to come forth, because no longer did they need the challenges of the body.

You live in love. You express love, and it feels really good to be in that space, does it not? That is why the multitudes came back over and over. That is why ones in this day and time want to know what you have to share.

They ask, “How can you smile when things are happening in your life that could be a challenge? How can you smile and how can you say that things are really working out for the best?” It is because you know that everything works for the Awakening, the realization of wholeness.

If you can smile through all of the manure that the world will throw at you, then perhaps there is hope for them, because sometimes they feel like they are living in the manure and they are not quite sure if there is a way to shovel their way out of it.

But you smile and you say to them, “Yes, I have been where you are. I know what it feels like to be almost drowning in what could be self-pity. But I also came to the realization that I was the one who was creating the reality. And if I was creating it, I could change it.”

With that one powerful thought, things change. They have to, because you are the extension of the one Creator. Take that to Heart. You are the extension of the one Creator, and you live in the Heart. That is where I live, and that is where you join me and I join with you.

You are my disciple, then and now. So be it.



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With the emergence of a new consciousness of Light and Love comes a remembrance of who we are. Stirrings in the heart echo whispers in the mind and a yearning to know, to express, to experience more of the Light and Love is awakened within us. Founded by Ministers Tom & Judith Coates in 1989, Oakbridge was born of the desire to provide an opportunity for such experience.

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