Many “Lightworkers” believe they are contributing and helping others by offering sympathy or empathy to those in trouble or in pain. There is a vast difference between empathy, sympathy and compassion. I would like to suggest you choose compassion the next time someone you care for is not doing well. Here is why.
There is an important distinction between empathy and sympathy and compassion. When the beautiful bride reaches for a drink, trips and falls into the deep end of the swimming pool, she completely soaks her gown and ruins her hair. Empathy is when you match her emotion and jump into the pool, fully dressed, and try to save her. As you know, drowning people tend to struggle and drag the rescuer down with them. And as Empathizer, that’s exactly what happens – you get all wet and nearly drown. The bride continues to make a mess of herself in the water.
I’ve met many empathic healers and most of them offer their healing by taking on or feeling the pain of their client. Many empaths are personally invested in this martry-like healing method. Their identity and value is wrapped up in running another’s pain through their body. I remember the case of one very successful empath who, after she passed away, was found to be suffering from many deadly diseases and illnesses—any one of which could have caused her passing. She chose to heal others by taking their pain into her body and soon her body was riddled with the illnesses of others. If you choose to empathically heal others, you might consider clearing out the energy of your clients after each session, or better yet, creating a way to assist with their issue without running it through your body. The Rose Tool is excellent for this purpose. Use the Rose to make separations after a healing session, or place the Rose Tool between you and the client to prevent their illness from entering your space. Massage therapists can place a rose on the palm of each hand.
Back to the wedding reception: When the beautiful bride falls into the pool, the Sympathizer also matches the excited energy and wades into the water, waist deep, to reach as far as his arms will stretch in the attempt to save the beautiful, splashing, angry, bride. The result? Sympathizer is not successful at all, just really wet and tired. Like empathy, sympathy comes from a place of disempowerment. Pulling someone out of the situation they created for themselves (and we do create all our situations) doesn’t assist them in untangling from the patterns and habits that got them there in the first place. You might know of friends who come to you again and again with the same issue and demonstrate no change in their behavior that might pull themselves out of the mud.
As Compassionate Rescuer, when the beautiful bride nose-dives into the pool, you calmly sit at the edge of the swimming pool with a long pole and offer it to the now, not-so-beautiful, bride. “Oh my, I see you’re in a really messy predicament. What do you think would be the best way for you to change this? Here is a strong stick, if you are interested in using it.” You don’t get wet and she has the empowering experience of solving her own problem and pulling herself out of her situation. Empathizer and Sympathizer may be forcing assistance and advice onto the bride that she may not be willing, able or ready to accept. The Compassionate One gives her a choice and the tool to help herself. Such a compassionate hand may completely change the bride’s life to one of greater Personal Power and Confidence. That is truly assisting another to step up, dry themselves off, laugh at themselves and be who they came here to be. Just like you have.
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