Are you feeling like you want to smash something? Does if feel like everything is just wrong? Well, you are not alone. Everyone seems to be feeling something... I felt this grrrr energy kicking in on Sunday night. I spoke to my sister who is in Africa with her family now and they are at wits end also. At about 5:30 a.m. feral cat came in through the cat door and beat up my cat, right in my living room. I chased it out with a spray bottle and two tennis balls. (Hey, it's what I could find!)
I've gotten really good at following my intuition, but last night, while driving, I got to an intersection where I had the option go straight or turn right and still get to my destination. I turned right and immediately a big semi truck appeared and blocked the whole road for about 5 minutes. So when I arrived at the grocery store my neighbor (who I try to avoid as much as possible) was just arriving at the same store and she just had to talk and talk to me about - well, stupid stuff I have no interest in. AND the store was sold out of the two things I went to buy! I know you know what I'm talking about.
Once again there has been a big energetic wave of light splashing through us and flushing up our shadow stuff. I created an astrological chart and found that the Sun (our "human self" and our energy) is conjunct (exact on the 26th) with Pluto (the big underworld, shadow stuff). That explains the anger, frustration, fear, shame, etc. And Mars (masculine energy, action and anger) is square (uncomfortable) with Saturn (limitation and rules of physical reality). That certainly describes how I was feeling and experiencing that everything felt hard and just not right. Not to mention Mercury is stationing direct tomorrow so every computer thing just doesn't work. I clicked on a link three times and it went to a totally wrong place. Then, once I got my tech help on the phone, it (the exact same link!) suddenly worked!
We are getting this wave of energy to clear out the shadow in preparation for our new year. Remember 2010 is a Universal Three Year. There is a lot of creativity in a three year and it's supposed to be about joy, fun and socializing. But it is a year that pushes us to say what's in your heart and expose yourself to the world. We really want to express our authentic selves. This means change (which is stressful) and the people around you will most likely not be happy with how you have changed (adding more stress).
You've heard the idiom, "Necessity is the mother of invention." Substitute invention with creativity and you get the gist of a three year, we are creative because we have to be. At the beginning of 2010 I wrote an article about this year. Below is a quote:
2010: The Year of Authenticity and Authority
I connected with my inner wisdom and asked, "What is the overlying energy of the year 2010?" The answer I got was "Authenticity and Authority". It is a year to express and truly be our Authentic Selves and to reclaim our authority, the right to follow our own knowing and make choices based on that.
2010 is a Universal 3 year. The 3 energy is creative, imaginative, expressive and enthusiastic. The 3 must have an outlet (or 2 or 3 outlets) for this energy or it can be distracted, scattered, confused or depressed.
You can read the rest of this article here
People around you will probably tell you that you are doing things wrong, because you aren't doing it the way they want you to. They will make you doubt yourself, but don't fall for that. You are listening to your own truth, your own authority in a way that you have never done before. Trust yourself. (Do use my guided meditation to help you remember your authentic self and stay in your center. Click here to download...)
Your mind will come up with all kinds of reasons for your feelings; it will try to figure out why your are creating this stuff (again). The key is to realize that it is on it's way out. All you need to do is feel it to release it. Instead of saying, "Oh no, here's all that horrible stuff again" say "Oh good, here's more old stuff on it's way out!"
I'll write more about 2011 in January, but I expect it will be more stable and secure. It's a time to build, or rebuild your foundation. It may be hard work, but we need to have this foundation in place for the future.