Message for July 2016
Take care of what you have whilst it's there. None of us can know what lies around the next corner in life, we can have hopes and expectations and there is much we take for granted, until and if, we reach a time when we can't any more. But, this doesn't mean we should live life cautiously, it means grabbing hold of life, living it well and being completely present.
We so often put life on hold, waiting for a better time (once we've met Mr or Mrs Right, once we've got a promotion, once we've lost weight…), but this runs the risk of us stepping out of now as our focus is on some point in the future that may or may not happen. We feel a deep sense of lack as we chase the horizon feeling that life won't be right until we get what we long for. Yet, it’s so often the case that when we finally get what we’ve longed for, it isn’t the panacea we dreamed of.
The benefit of hindsight is a wonderful thing but it’s not terribly helpful when we’ve put our lives on hold waiting for that better time as it means we’ve stopped living in the here and now. Our focus is ‘over there’ and not here, leaving us stuck in linear time, caught between the future and the past, unable to accept the present as it’s not our ‘better time’.
There really is no point in having regrets as they change nothing and only enhance a sense of lack and intensify any grief for losing the life we thought we'd have. Yet, at the same time, it's also hard to step into the present moment to accept our 'what is' as it can be hard to love the life we have rather than the life we want. However, we have to as it's what we have. There isn’t a default option or a magic fix: it is what it is. By learning to love our lives exactly as they are, we can begin to find ways of living well despite the challenges we face. We could rage at the unfairness of life but would that change anything? Surely it would just intensify the grief and pain, and make us ever more aware of the gap between where we are and that ‘better moment’?
Of course, grief and pain, like anger, are all valid and important emotions as we needed to stop pushing them away as they are an important part of the healing process. Not healing as in ‘cure’, healing in terms of acceptance. There is a place for anger in all of this as it's a valid and valuable emotion to experience. Yet so many push this away, feeling it's bad or unacceptable, but the more we do this, the more destructive it becomes. It's so important to realise anger is healthy, it's a stage of grief. Of course, there are different ways of expressing and experiencing anger, some good, some not, but it's important we find ways to face our anger and pain as this is the path to conscious living and it enables us to breathe fully into life as life breathes fully into us.
We tend to spend life with our breaths held in, not feeling able to take a big deep inhalation of life as we are either too fearful, too cautious, too busy or in too much pain. Yet, when we take the time to breathe wholeheartedly, to be vulnerable and to accept our imperfections, our connection to life deepens and we find new ways to live. The opening sentence of this was 'Take care of what you have whilst it’s there'. So, this month, take care of yourself, your body, your dreams and your breath. Learn to appreciate and value all that you are and all that you have, particularly in terms of your amazing body: it's incredible, don't take it for granted...
July looks set to be a month of determined inner exploration as you begin to look deeper beneath the surface of your life. You have spent a long time ticking along, keeping the wheels on the cogs of the bus of life nicely oiled and in good condition, but it’s been a while since you last took a look at the route you’ve been driving or where you are heading. Ticking along has its merits as it allows for you to go with the flow however, it does seem to lack your usual fire, tenacity and drive! There have been times in your life when you would have thought nothing of driving that bus off road and heading into pastures new and there would have been times when you would take a chance heading off tarmac in order to follow your heart and soul. Now, it’s not to say that either of these are guaranteed pathways to happiness but they feel more ‘you’.
You are a passionate, fiery, energetic and determined soul where little deters you other than your own self-doubts. It’s inevitable that doubt creeps in over time, particularly when you’ve had more than your fair share of up’s and down’s in life but where’s your inner warrior? Where’s your va-va voom and your feisty sprite? You know yourself well enough to know that being a maintenance engineer to keep the bus of your life in pristine condition is really not what makes your heart sing: you long to dive head first into unchartered terrain in order to explore your passions and to feel a deep and true connection to life. Whilst maintaining your bus is important, so is enjoying the ride and looking out of the window every so often! So, shift your focus and feel the fire rising up from within…
There are several versions of you: the one you feel others want you to be, there is the one you feel you ought to be, there is the one you maybe don’t want to be, and then, there is, quite simply, you. Confused? You will be! You have spent much of your life trying your very best to get life right and to be the best version of yourself you can possibly be. Such a quest is admirable and honourable yet there’s been a cost to this as you have, over time, lost sight of your true essence and spark. You have given so much time, energy and focus on trying to be the best version of you that you can be, you drifted away from your sense of self as your edges blurred and descended into ought’s, must’s and should’s. Whilst underneath you are still the determined, strong-minded soul you’ve always been, your drive has shifted away from the earthy foot stamping, snorting, Taurean bullish nature to a much more sedate, albeit somewhat puzzling, flighty little bird.
Why have you gone from mooing to cooing? There is the obvious advantage that having wings gives you a new perspective on your life but you need the earth beneath your feet in order to feel connected to yourself and to life. Whilst there is absolutely nothing wrong in being a little bird, your bull thinks otherwise! This isn’t a time for continued inner wrestling as you try to be the version of you that you think you need to be, as it’s such a strategy that has given you wings in the first place. It’s a time to reconnect yourself to your roots and to your true sense of self in order to regain a more conscious sense of joy as you realise that being you is as simple as taking a big deep breath and opening your eyes…
July looks set to be a month of insight and inspiration as you begin to see beyond the boundaries of your life and towards a brighter and more expansive future. You have spent a lot of time thinking, pondering and contemplating why you are the way you are and why your life is the way it is. You have also spent a great deal of time questioning your motivations and trying to make sense of everything that doesn’t make sense. In a way, such questioning is simply your nature and you will never truly stop doing it, but it seems likely that, as mentioned last month, over time, your questioning has become more of a distraction technique and a reason ‘not to’. It’s not that you’re an unwilling participant in the big game of life, it’s just that your need to find answers keeps you hovering on the periphery waiting for more clarity before you dive in.
Sometimes, you need to trust, take a deep breath and let go of your fears as you step consciously into the present moment. Whilst the present moment may not be exactly what you might hope it to be, it is what it is, and being present in it is far more empowering than trying to deny its existence or push it away. In truth, it is only when you are in the present moment that you can begin to see the bigger picture and your need to find answers will subside into a more balanced and philosophical willingness to live life more fully and more wholeheartedly. You seem ready now to take some big strides forward when it comes to getting from here to where you want to be, and your realisation that this can only happen when your focus remains fully on here rather than there looks set to transport you to a brand new way of living and being…
As the routines of your life continue to change shape and form, there is a growing sense of shift rising up from deep within the core of your being as you begin to take a more conscious and inspired role in the journey of your life. You have stuck with the familiar for a long time as it has been the easiest way to keep things ticking along but the cost of this has been a disconnection from your creativity; this has mostly felt like an acceptable price to pay as you have been able to push on without the distraction of exploring your dreams and hopes. This extraordinarily practical approach to your life has undoubtedly worked but ‘without the distraction of your dreams and hopes’? It sounds a little hollow and chilly out there in the greyness of a colourless landscape.
Okay, it might not be that bad, but it certainly feels a millions miles away from the multi-coloured world of your imagination where your hopes and dreams come to life and inspire you to live the best life possible. Although keeping on keeping on has its merits, where have you been heading and why? Ticking along, keeping your head down and not allowing your vibrancy to shine and sparkle in the sunlight of your soul feels such a shame as not only does this keep your gifts from the world but, perhaps more importantly, it also keeps your gifts away from you. Without your sparkle shimmering and your dreams lighting up your life, where are you heading? Do you have a purpose or sense of direction? If so, then read no more. However, if you’ve parked your purpose for the sake of keeping on keeping on, it’s time to ask yourself what you really, truly want in life. Let your light shine, your spirit sparkle and this will lead the way…
July looks set to be a month to allow yourself to become more in-tune with your inner roar as you begin to give it more space and freedom to expand and thrive. You do have a roar, even if it sounds like a squeaking kitten at times, as it’s your roar that inspires you to live boldly, brightly and creatively. Your roar is that fiery spark within you that motivates you to stand up and shine, and to be one of life’s pioneers, boldly going where no one has gone before. It seems you have long felt your roar was not something to be proud of and it was, perhaps, one of your lesser traits as it implied anger, fear or even dominance, just like the king of the jungle.
Whilst your roar can indeed be used for these things, it is your central powerhouse and, as a result, it is also the source of your creativity, passion and vibrancy. It only becomes negative in tone if you allow it to be. Of course, no one should challenge you when you’re in a bad mood, but that’s always been the case! Seriously though, your roar is the true indicator of balance in your life; when your roar fades, you know that things are out of kilter and you can begin to move back into balance again. It may take a while but your passion is your guide. Your roar is a joy and it is the light to lead you forwards now as you begin to contemplate walking a new path in life. New beginnings can bring to the surface doubts and fears, but have faith and trust in yourself to face these in order to live the best life possible. You are courageous but you are no fool, so test the waters for yourself, take a deep breath and roar…
Knowing yourself has always been an important mantra for you as it’s a sign of your willingness to dig beneath your surface in order to understand your quirks, nuances and idiosyncrasies. Whilst it irks you slightly to admit that you have any of these, you are also wise enough to know that imperfection is a perfectly acceptable part of life. Well, that’s what you may say out loud as it sounds politically correct and spiritually evolved, but deep down, you still feel perfection has to be the best option! There is a sense you would ideally like to fix, heal or mend your quirks in order to live a better life; a sense that fixing them would make for a more enriched and fulfilling existence. Have you ever considered the possibility that it’s having these quirky bits that actually enhance your life? It’s not the absence of them that will bring you what you’re striving for it’s your loving acceptance of them.
Whilst this may be a huge leap for you to take, it’s important to realise that focusing your energy into fixing, healing and perfecting takes you away from the present moment and denies you the opportunity to live well now. Focusing on what may or may not be in the future prevents you from taking a big, deep breath of now and feeling the richness that your quirks actually bring to your life. If everyone was perfect, wouldn’t life be a tad boring and grey? If every masterpiece was identical, where would the life and soul go? July looks set to be a month for you to take a long look into the mirror of your soul in order to go beyond ‘knowing yourself’ into a space of ‘being yourself’. Being yourself shows a willingness to be here now and an acceptance of every aspect of yourself, quirks and imperfections included. After all, you are perfectly imperfect and completely lovable exactly as you are...
Your over-thinking has shaped and defined your life for a long time. As a result, you have denied your effervescent creative sparkle the room to thrive and blossom as it has felt impractical and ill-fitting with your logical brain. However, your sparkle is fighting back! It’s time to realise that both are key parts of you and you cannot thrive if you deny one or the other. So, it’s time to unify and harmonise as you conduct a new masterpiece in your life. July looks set to reach a crescendo of change as many different pathways converge into the spot marked ‘you’. Of course, some will also diverge and this may be hard as it’s often not easy saying farewell to dreams or connections, but there is a sense that you are ready to peel back the layers of your life in order to walk a simpler and more awakened path.
It may feel a little overwhelming to know that you are standing at the spot marked ‘X’ where so many pathways look set to converge, but they will follow you wherever you go as X is you and you know only too well that you can’t hide destiny. So, why not look up and watch this spectacular moment rather than trying to outrun or outwit it? It’s a part of you, so breathe it in and become one with it. Whilst some trepidation is understandable, this is a moment to feel excited and liberated as there is a sense of you playing the role of conductor, with a beautiful baton in your hand as you stand firm and allow the pathways to dance and swirl around you as you find a way to ride with them to establish a brand new tune in your life. Listen to the music of your soul and let the music guide you now.
As you continue to explore your inner depths, there is a sense that you are beginning to understand your true self and your motivations with more clarity than ever before. You have often felt frustrated with the choices and pathways you have followed in life as instinctively and intuitively they haven’t felt right but you went along anyway. You are now beginning to realise that the reason for this lies predominantly with your tendency to try to ‘people please’ and to keep others happy even if this means sacrificing what you truly want or need. Over the years, this tendency has become second nature to you and you have started to lose sight of where you end and others begin as your own sense of self has faded into the background behind a long list of ought’s, must’s and should’s. Whilst you are not, by nature, a passive soul (think Scorpion, tail and sting!) but your feisty side has ebbed away with your people pleasing as the two are mutually exclusive.
So, it’s time now to explore your motivations for wanting to keep everyone else happy at the cost of denying your own sense of self? Of course, aspects of your true nature peep out to say hello from time to time, but there’s sense of disjointedness in your soul as you want to walk a more conscious and joined-up life from now on. This isn’t about suddenly turning your back on everyone and walking away from your responsibilities, but it is about having an honest look at your choices in order to realise that they are your choices. This isn’t a time to feel dis-spirited or disempowered, but a time to grab hold of life and to re-set the balance as you allow your true self some breathing space. You are going through a time of intense adjustment, so remember to be compassionate with yourself and, most importantly, don’t forget to love yourself…
Prioritising and re-prioritising are two words that frequently haunt you in your everyday world. With a gazillion things to do, see and be at any given time, your desire to prioritise is understandable! However, by the time you have prioritised and created a beautiful and orderly list, more things have come along and messed it all up! That’s a part of life of course and change is a constant, but maybe you are looking at this the wrong way? Maybe instead of trying to keep hold of a list of those gazillion things to do, see and be, maybe you need to throw them up in the air and let them go? After all, do you really need to include item number 324 or 7998? Are you trying to keep hold of your ‘to do’ list to motivate you? It seems likely that by spending so much time working out what you want to do, this detracts from going out and actually doing it, so you are keeping hold of the many things you want to do rather than getting on with experiencing them.
This is complex and it could be easy to judge yourself harshly but there really is no judgement, you are simply trying to find a way to cope with the frequently overwhelming and bewildering journey called life. By nature, you are not a hoarder, you are a free spirit, so instead of placing yourself under immense pressure of an ever-growing list and an increasing sense of disappointment that you haven’t ticked everything off, let it go. This isn’t to say give up on your dreams, far from it, it’s suggesting to let go of the list in order to set yourself free to follow your dreams. In a way, your list has become a distraction from taking a chance and being you, but there’s no hiding now as the world is ready to see your beauty, innovation and talent…
Life is an inherently complex and complicated thing; just when you feel you have found your feet, something comes along and pulls the rug out, leaving you either mid-air, upside down or in a heap on the floor! This is something you’ve grown used to over the years and you’ve often found great value from the experiences as you’ve learned more about yourself and you’ve also grown closer to knowing what you truly want as well. It’s often the way that, by finding out what you don’t want or what doesn’t work, that you eventually discover the hidden gem of realisation that’s been sitting there all of the time, hidden behind the many distractions and things to do. Although when the rug pulling happens, you mutter and curse, you have accepted it’s a part of life and many positive things have actually happened as a result.
What seems to irk you more is the feeling of helplessness and a lack of control as you sense the winds of change looming on the horizon and you feel frustrated that you can’t take the helm and bring about a different result. However, by resisting the process are you helping or hindering? If it was possible to change the outcome, don’t you think you would? Sometimes, it’s just not possible to stop the wheels of change as they come charging into your life and upend the rug beneath your feet. You may feel the knack in surviving is in never staying in the same place for long or learning to love wooden floors instead, but try not to outwit this, the rug is just an analogy after all! When life becomes uncertain, go with it and trust your wisdom, tenacity and grit to lead the way. Don’t see this as a challenge but as an opportunity for growth…
Being you has never been quite as straightforward as you would’ve liked it to be. You are undoubtedly a complex soul but it’s not your complexity that’s tied you up in knots, it’s your expansive, constantly exploring mind. It’s hard for you to take stock of the present moment as your mind is often in different realms discovering new philosophies and learning new ways to expand. With your mind in one place and the rest of you in another, being you has felt almost impossible as you have never been quite able to fully centre. With your adventurous mind running wayward and amok, it’s easy to see why it’s hard being you as you can’t truly know you unless your mind is present and correct! However, although your mind is an eager pioneer, it doesn’t mean it’s not still connected to the rest of you.
You may feel as though you are standing here, your dreams are over there and your mind is ‘who knows where’, but when you take a step back you will see that this is just a perception rather than your reality. As long as you see your mind as out of reach, it will remain that way and ‘being you’ will continue to prove challenging. However, if you realise that your mind is actually working for your best interests and you start to feel more connected to it, you will begin to discover that being you isn’t complex, it’s amazing! You are a creative, courageous warrior, a surfer of the waves of life and a leader when it comes to innovation (of all kinds). The key is in believing this of yourself and allowing your true essence the room to flow more freely in your life. You simply cannot contain your mind so don’t try! Go with it, breath in the moment and find new ways to thrive…
Stop! Stop right there! Don’t move. Don’t move a muscle. And don’t sneer just because you don’t know what’s going on. As you stand still, can you feel your breath a little more closely and, as each muscle inevitably twitches, can you feel yourself resisting and holding your breath a little? Could you imagine spending even a moment more like this? Ideally not. However, (and you knew there was a ‘but’ coming), if you take a step back and look at the bigger picture of your life, it seems that you spend a great deal of time in this frozen state. You find yourself unable to breathe freely, unable to move freely and stuck in-between a moment. You may not initially see this but looking in through the window of your soul, it seems you have spent so long giving and self-sacrificing for others that your own world has grown increasingly smaller and smaller over time. As a result, you find yourself in a kind of virtual frozen state which you rarely notice as it’s your constant ‘normal’, so you may be slightly shocked to realise just how claustrophobic your ‘normal’ has become.
Being everything to everyone is a beautiful and admirable trait but the cost is the walls moving ever-closer on your inner world as your soul feels trapped and unable to move. Every breath becomes hard work and your true sense of self begins to ebb and fade. This all sounds very bleak but it needn’t be as it’s simply the perception of something else looking in through the window of your soul. You can change your reality simply by breathing deeply and feeling yourself re-centre and re-align. This ‘inner prison’ is merely temporary, but it’s important to break free or it could become more. See this as a loving wake-up call, calling you back home and allowing you the freedom to breathe freely as life breathes back into you…
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