Message for May 2014
May looks set to be a month of continued revelation and insight as we begin to feel a stronger sense of alignment both within and without in our lives. For a long time now many of us have felt the shifts and oscillations occurring on many different levels of our beings: we have felt out of sorts, discombobulated and disconnected one moment, and then crystal clear, vibrant and fully integrated the next. Such shifts have tested even the most resolved and hardened amongst us, and they have shown us that the path of awakening is rarely straightforward or black and white.
As we continue to cultivate a deeper sense of ‘being’ and a stronger awareness of the ‘bigger picture’, we realise that nothing stays the same; therefore embracing the concept of impermanence seems important now as this is the true key to living consciously in the present moment. The more we realise that everything changes, the less we try to cling on to all that we have and all that we want to have, accepting that the true riches in life come from within. Yes, we are magnificent, wonderful and incredible beings but we are also tiny little specks in the universal whole at the same time and it is all too easy to get lost in self-importance and images of grandeur, but when we embrace impermanence, we lose the ego and instead allow the heart-centre to connect openly without agenda or motive and this enables us to wholeheartedly and consciously live now, in this moment. No more linear time, conditional living or waiting for the right moment: now is what matters.
Yet, perhaps even more important than impermanence is our relationship with/to vulnerability as this is the oil for the key that turns the lock. Vulnerability is a reflection of our willingness to be genuine and authentic, to honour our true essence and to be ourselves. Vulnerability means being exposed and risking pain, criticism or judgement for all that we are, but the reward for this is an ability to live without hiding or seeking refuge in avoidance, fear or isolation. The reward for vulnerability is freedom. Many resist taking this step as vulnerability means risk, possible pain, possible ridicule and definite uncertainty, but knowing that everything in life is uncertain and without guarantee is surely an incentive for us to step beyond the storylines and beliefs that hold us back enabling us to live genuine, authentic and true lives?
Vulnerability is something that so many of us resist as a sign of weakness or as a sign that we are not capable of ‘coping’, but when we realise that vulnerability is more about being conscious, showing up and living, we begin to let go of our preconceptions and instead start to see life as it is, not as it is not. ‘Not as it is not’ is something of a mouthful, but it seems that so many of us see life by what it isn’t or by how we want it to be rather than by how it actually is. By stepping up and embracing life, we may run the risk of exposing our soft and tender underbelly, but we also open up to taking a rich and delicious bite of life, exactly as it is. Although we may be imperfect, full of quirks, nuances, contradictions and complexities, these are not aspects to hide away in shame or fear as these make us who we are.
Life is about what we do, not about what we don’t, but there is a risk that we can become so consumed by the need to get it right, to be invincible, to be perfect and to tick off all those things still to do, say and be, that we miss life in all its beauty, grandeur and mind-bending complexity.
May looks set to be a month where you re-hone and re-focus your inner spotlight onto what you truly want from life. You have spent a great deal of time recently thinking about your priorities, as well as those ought’s, should’s and must’s that have shaped and defined your life for so long, and you have opened up to re-connecting to what really matters to you. Such a shift is not to be underestimated as it is a sign of great inner courage to buck the trend of the collective flow to instead feel the joy of being at one with your own flow once again. Some may argue that there is only one flow, but you know that it is so easy to get lost in the world of sheep, where everyone tries to fit, bend and conform, keeping on keeping and on, and never really noticing that there is so much more to life. Sheep have their place if course, but you are a ram and you need the room to stamp your feet, to snort and to shake those horns without worrying about snagging your jumper or catching the furniture with the sharp, pointy ends. In other words, you are ready now to break free from trying to bend yourself out of shape in order to belong; you have tried your best to be ‘one of the gang’, to do ‘what’s right’ and to deny your true essence, but the time has come where you can no longer deny anything about yourself and why should you?
Change is not always easy to embrace and being courageous is much easier to write than to do, but you intuitively know that the first step to courageous living comes from belief: self-belief and believing that what you truly want from life matters. May looks set to trigger the fiery side of your nature into action and to inspire you to wholeheartedly embrace the concept of living with authenticity and passion. You have spent a long time trying to go with the flow that you thought was right but you now know that until you open up to your own flow then everything feels stifled and contracted. So, open up your heart and soul, stamp those feet, shake those horns and take a big deep breath of life...
As you continue to take steps along the path of self-awakening it seems that you are beginning to realise that this is a path unlike any other you have walked upon in life. Over the years, you have spent a great deal of time trying to be the person that you thought you ought to be, wanting to please others and trying to ‘get it right’. It seems somewhat ironic then that, despite your best efforts, you have never truly been sure exactly what ‘right’ is! You have tried to work it out by being everything to everyone and morphing yourself out of shape, and yet, all along you haven’t really been sure of the reasons why you have been doing what you do because you haven’t been able to see the bigger picture. It is all too easy to get lost in the chaos of life, walking the hamster wheel for the right reasons but forgetting to seek out the truth behind these reasons. As a result, you have grown increasingly lost over recent weeks and months as your longing to re-connect to truth has grown strong and this longing has opened up the gap between where you are and where you intuitively feel you now need to be. You feel a sense of urgency to get back in touch with your deeper Self in order to stop focusing on getting it right to instead start focusing on being you.
You put yourself under immense pressure to get it right but the cost of this is a disconnection from yourself and an inability to see the bigger picture that you now long to be a part of. May looks set to be a month of standing in new terrain as you take a deep breath and start learning how to lean into the discomfort of embracing the perfection of imperfection, of loving when you don’t ‘get it right’ (and realising the value of such times) and learning how to love being you. The time has come to love yourself exactly as you are and to realise that there is no such thing as perfection; to strive for it makes for a long wait. So, stop measuring yourself up to a yardstick that is unrealistic and inauthentic, and start being yourself and loving yourself for it.
May looks set to be a month of opening your eyes to the truth of your life and to seeing what’s actually in the mirror rather than what you perceive to be there. You are a visionary and your gift of seeing is as profound as it is intense, and yet, it is all too easy to stop looking when you think you already know what’s before you. Everyone does this to some extent, so you are definitely not alone. Think of a writer who omits words that are thought but not typed on the page, and missed again on a re-read as the words are in the mind but still not on the page – a classic example of allowing the mind to lead the way and seeing what is perceived to be there but isn’t. You are very good at creating ‘what is’ in your mind but when it comes to distinguishing between the reality of your mind with, well, reality, you can struggle to see what’s before your eyes. This is not a judgement or a criticism, just an observation of how powerful your mind can be. Very few can think so clearly and this gift has served you well in life.
However, there are times when you need to step beyond the mind in order to see ‘what is’ and to take a fresh perspective on your life and realise that ‘what is’ isn’t quite what you imagine it to be. Now, this is not to say that ‘what is’ is a problem, but this is a time for you to start seeing the bigger picture in all its glory once again. Perhaps your tendency to see without seeing comes from a desire to step beyond the gap between where you are and where you want to be; a kind of positive affirmation or intention of creating the essence of where you want to be in the here and now? However, if you pause for a while you will realise that the gap is only there because you perceive it to be, so why not use the formidable power of your mind to see ‘what is’ and embrace it rather than trying to step beyond something you created in the first place? Take a breath, open your eyes and set yourself free...
Out of all the people you know, you are probably the one you know the best. Probably may be an odd choice of word, after all, surely you cannot know anyone as well as yourself can you? Well, although you may like to think you know yourself inside and out, there is a sense that you tend to keep your inner-most Self at arm’s length, preferring instead to skim over the surface in order to keep on keeping on in life. It’s not that you are afraid to look at your depths, but it makes for an easier life to skip over the surface like a pebble on a pond. Of course, when you take a closer look at this analogy, you know that after the skimming bit, the pebble sinks like the stone it is, but your focus isn’t on the bigger picture, just the skimming! This may all sound a bit flippant, but it isn’t meant to be, it is just another way of seeing yourself and your path in life. You spend a lot of time trying to live right, be right and get it right, but this means that you lose a great deal in the process as your focus is on doing instead of being.
As a result, it has become easier to dance across the pond of your soul instead of reaching deeply into its depths as that highlights the distance between where you are and where you think you are when it comes to self-knowing. There is a great deal to be said for dancing and skipping through life as it means that you don’t have to drag around a backpack of burden and self-questioning, and yet, it seems that you still carry a backpack, it’s just that the one bearing down on your shoulders is full of guilt, should’s, must’s and ought’s instead. It seems that you have simply swapped one backpack for another! So, although dancing and skimming may sound light and easy, you know that the reality is a little different as the more you stay away from truly knowing your Self, the more you get tied up in other people’s agendas, hopes and dreams, and the further away from yourself you become. This is your time now to re-centre, re-focus and know yourself from the inside, out...
May looks set to be a month where you continue to focus on establishing equilibrium in your life; although balance may sound a little tedious and boring to a fiery and creative soul like you, without balance the pendulum of your life loses context and you lose your sense of Self as you have nothing to grab hold of to steady yourself. Now, although there are times when you are happy to let go and spin into the unknown with a giggle of abandon, you also know that this is not such a time as you are nearing a significant crossroads in your life. In fact, turning point may be a more accurate description as it is not so much a time for choosing a direction to follow but a time for stepping back to look at the bigger picture to realise that you are ready now to turn within for the answers that you seek: what’s around you is less important than what’s within you. There is a sense that you are reaching a point of critical mass where you realise that without balance you simply cannot access your formidable inner knowing, creativity and wisdom.
Too much emphasis on what you are doing and why takes you further along the road, but further away from the turning point of self-knowing that you have been searching for. Of course, there is a choice, as there always is. You can continue as you are or you don’t. This is not about changing destiny or trying to control the uncontrollable, it is about opening up to what’s truly important in your life. Balance is neither tedious nor boring; it only seems that way because that’s your perception. Yet, when you realise that balance brings you the most precious gift of all – freedom - then you realise that no amount of struggle, sheer-mindedness or fight can force it into your life. It is not what you do that brings balance but what you are. Your turning point and critical mass looks set to be as rewarding and inspirational as you allow it to be. Don’t go into this chapter of your life expecting answers, resolution and miracles, live in each moment and know that by allowing balance to flow without agenda, you will find all that you have been searching for; after all, it has been with you all along...
Are you one who stands on the sidelines of life, doing your best but never really getting stuck in through a fear of not getting it right? Or are you one that dips your toes in the water of life, testing the temperature, waiting for the perfect moment to jump in? Does it feel safer to fly under the radar, ‘just in case’? Although all of these are different questions, they all query if you live your life as though it really counts. Such a question may feel a bit of an affront, after all, of course your life counts. But this fact isn’t in question; the question asks you if you live your life as though you believe it counts? There is a distinct difference, and throughout May, it seems important that you ponder and contemplate your answer as your response looks set to shape and define your path ahead. If you truly live your life as though it really matters: not being afraid to be seen, to get it wrong, to get it right and to relish the opportunity to try, then you know you have ‘nailed’ it. Yet, if you have doubts, perhaps the time has come to ask yourself why you hold back and why you err on the side of caution.
Life is for living, and although you strive for perfection, sometimes perfection simply keeps life out of arms reach as it becomes the rainbow on the horizon that, however hard you try or fast you walk, you never reach. This is not about giving up on dreams or letting go of aspirations, but it is about opening up to living your life wholeheartedly now. You know that life is shaped by uncertainty and impermanence, and you know that nothing is ever set in stone, but rather than allow this knowledge to liberate you, there is a part of you that still holds on to the hope that things will change: the heavens will shift, the seas will part, the tides will turn and your ‘moment’ will arrive. Your moment is unlikely to arrive if you sit, wait and hope; it will only arrive when you start believing that your moment has already arrived. Confusing? Absolutely! You know only too well that belief is the true crux of your message this month, so change your belief and change your life...
‘It isn’t the mountain ahead that wears you out; it’s the grain of sand in your shoe’(Unknown). The wisdom of these words rings true for you throughout May as you continue to seek out ways to ‘make sense’ of your life, your choices and your reality. The phrase ‘your reality’ may suggest that you are not in the same reality as everyone else which of course you are, but your perception of reality is way and beyond comparison! It seems that you have started to take note of those grains of sand in your shoe and realised that, by taking care of your immediate needs and emptying your shoe, you are paving the way for your summit attempt when the time comes. When the time comes? Well, that suggests that your focus is very much on the here and now rather than somewhere way off in the distance, how can that be for a forward-thinking dreamer such as you? A jest, well, joust, as you are too astute to take these words at face value without seeing the deeper meaning. Sometimes a prod in the ribs with a sharp pointy thing (metaphorically speaking of course) is a good thing as it takes you outside of yourself and helps you to see just how far you have come in recent weeks and months. By shifting your awareness to the here and now, you have taken a step away from linear time and towards conscious living.
The mountain (your dreams or goals) hasn’t vanished but you are no longer placing so much emphasis on what lies before you: your focus is now on what lies within you (and in your shoe). Now, sand in your shoe may sound like an irritation, but the analogy goes way deeper than this as you begin to realise that by focusing on this moment you are giving yourself the true gift (and grit!) of being fully awake and living each moment in real time. Such a shift is epic as you are now able to start letting go of the pressure and expectation you place on your shoulders allowing your true essence to flow free. If you can’t get beyond the sand in your shoe analogy, remember the words of William Blake: ‘To see the world in a grain of sand...’
May looks set to be a month for deep contemplation and inner focus for you, but before you sigh audibly at the thought of more inner work, there is a sense that you are ready now to turn and face an aspect of your Self and your life that has proven to be something of a ‘challenge’ to you previously. It is as though you have stepped beyond the boundaries of your life and your new perspective is enabling you to see things differently and with a new wave of wisdom and insight. Whilst this isn’t likely to change anything directly, it does seem likely to help you to see beyond the black and white, matter-of-fact, and, as a result, you are able to allow these challenges to inform and enrich your life-experience. Of course, there are some aspects of life that may be best forgotten or eradicated, but it’s not possible to erase what’s gone before, however hard you try. Remember though, it is possible to change your response to such events and the more aware of this you become, the more you will realise that it is ultimately your response that determines your on-going perspective.
If you feel angry or vengeful, then these emotions start to take over and seep into all aspects of your life. Whilst these emotions often arise from painful events, keeping hold of them only serves to prolong the pain. Letting them go is not ‘forgetting’ but it is a process that allows you to set yourself free; such a step takes courage, strength, wisdom and passion, but you have all of these in abundance. It can be easy to get lost in the realms of trying to fix what went on before or trying to seek out justice, but sometimes the most powerful action is one of release as you step consciously into the present moment, no longer allowing the past to keep hold of your present or future. Life is full of events and experiences that shape and define, but it is your perspective that ultimately determines if you grow stronger as a result or if you buckle under the strain. You are an incredibly strong, vibrant and courageous soul, and you are ready now to set yourself free and to channel all of the many experiences of your life into a more cohesive and exceptionally beautiful whole...
‘Busy doing nothing, working the whole day through, trying to find lots of things not to do’ (V. Monroe) these lyrics seem rather apt for you at the moment, not because you are actively trying to find lots of things not to do but because your life is filled with busy-ness, hustle and bustle that seems, well, unnecessary. It is as though you are trying to fill your time doing things that will happen anyway rather than trusting the flow and allowing it to, well, flow. It is most unlike you to fill your life with distractions that seem without purpose, but you are making the most of your master juggler skills and doing it anyway. Why? Well, there is a sense that you are resisting stepping wholeheartedly into the quiet moments at the current time because you feel a wave of discomfort every time you get close to them. You know that in the quiet moments, the clutter falls away, the noise of the chatter grows silent and you become one with your Self, your emotions and your reality.
Everyone has times in their lives when being busy is easier than leaning into the perceived discomfort of reality and you are no exception to the rule, but it seems that you have taken the avoidance strategy to a whole new level as you have started rushing around doing ‘stuff’ that really isn’t that important in the scheme of things. However, until you accept that this is what you are doing, you are unlikely to change things. Sometimes avoidance techniques take over as the perceived monster in the wardrobe (the unease with reality) grows bigger than s/he truly is and the more s/he’s avoided, the bigger s/he becomes. It is only by opening the wardrobe that the spell is broken and the power of the fear is taken away. Yet reaching the point of opening the wardrobe takes courage and faith, and although you have both by the bucket load, you are a little too distracted with the distractions to realise. May looks set to be a month for making peace with yourself and for taking the first step of opening up to the quiet moments and realising that they are your friend, not foe. Be gentle with yourself, love yourself and stop juggling quite so hard...
May looks set to be a month of freedom, frivolity, vitality, vim and vigour as you break free from some of the ought’s, must’s and should’s that have been shaping and defining your life for so long. It’s not just the ‘ought’s, must’s and should’s’ though as the ‘ought not’s’, ‘must not’s’ and ‘should not’s’ all step into the spotlight for change as well. You have reached a stage of reckoning and realisation that whilst living your life in this way gets things done, the cost is the connection you have with yourself and your true essence. It is so easy to get tied up in knots trying to keep up with everything you should and shouldn’t do, and it is part of life to have rules to follow. But the rules in question here are not one’s of legal or moral status but one’s that you added into your life journey in order to: keep others happy, belong, keep the peace, feel less guilty or keep on keeping on.
Whilst it is understandable that you adopted such a strategy as you strive to be the best that you can be, your focus has not been on being the best to yourself. What about your own needs, wants, wishes and desires? Do they not matter? Ought’s, must’s and should’s contract and constrict you as each one tightens the leash that you willingly placed around your own neck. Guilt becomes the force that guides you and you then lose your connection with your true essence and inner va-va voom. A month of freedom, frivolity, vitality, vim and vigour may sound a little too ‘fluffy bunny’ and nauseating to you as it seems disconnected to the reality of hard-work and getting on with life, but life doesn’t have to be about sacrifice and disconnection, in fact, these stop you from living in the way that you intuitively know is possible. Stop carrying the ‘life is hard’ placard around your neck, re-connect to the vibrant and brilliant light within, and start realising that you have both the pen and the rulebook in your hands. Although you cannot control life, you can choose how to respond, live and be; the rest is up to you...
As you continue to connect to the power of your intuition and allow the brilliant illumination of the light within to shine forth, there is a growing sense that you are finally finding a sense of peace with your innate ability to be your own guide. You are a traveller in life; always have been, always will be. But it is important not to forget that you are a mapmaker as well. Your cartography skills are breathtaking and can turn even the London Tube Map into a piece of art. These skills not only make the journey more interesting and creative, but they also make for a lot of pondering and contemplation as you consider life beyond the map also known as ‘the bigger picture’. Yet, beneath the colours, swirls and creative flair, surely a map is still just a map? ‘A’ still goes to ‘B’ and although the path in between may be filled with creative skill and artistry, surely a path is still just a path? Well, that’s true, but what you see along the way does matter doesn’t it? It’s the journey not the destination that really matters?
Of course, you already know the answer to this question but it seems prudent for you to contemplate this a little more deeply this month as you are nearing a time of self-reckoning, a time for realising that nothing is really quite as it seems and although your mind can rationalise just about anything (a map just being a map), you know that it is so much more. It is therefore a time to listen to your intuition and to allow that brilliant inner light to shine brightly inspiring you to take pride in enjoying the beauty of the journey and to be present in each and every moment, seeing the map for what it is: a beautiful, skilled and informative piece of art. Yes, it’s both ‘just a map’ and a masterpiece, and why not? Things are never black and white, so why expect them to be? You never think inside the box, you think beyond all comprehension of the box and this month is no exception. Find a truce between head and heart, mind and intuition to see that both are your friends. You are better together...
May looks set to be a month of vision and vibrancy as you continue to re-align yourself with your true essence and stop swimming against the flow when it comes to the journey of your life. Of course, it can sometimes be hard to know what the ‘true flow’ actually is as you can lose sight of your own ‘flow’ and get lost in the myriad of flows belonging to those around you. At the same time, the collective flow has a will of its own and this can also take over at times leaving you feeling like a piece of driftwood in stormy seas. With so many flows to take into account at any one time, it is no wonder that you can end up feeling discombobulated and perplexed as to what your own, true flow actually is! Yet, if you pause for a moment and take a big, deep breath, you will quickly realise that you are only feeling overwhelmed because you have lost your connection with your inner wisdom and intuition that guides you forward even when things seem perplexing. If you get carried along with the currents, you only sink underneath if you fight, struggle and resist, yet, if you let go and consciously travel with them, you don’t get lost but your Piscean fishy mastery re-surfaces enabling you to navigate the flow with wisdom and ease.
It seems time for you to realise that even though there are moments in your life when being driftwood makes for an easier life, you are not driftwood. Why try to be what you are not? Does it really make for an easier life? Being your vibrant and visionary self does not have to mean standing in the flow, fighting the currents and holding on as the currents batter and bruise your limbs; it doesn’t have to be ‘hard work’. It simply means a willingness to stop trying to be everything to everyone and forgetting to be anything to yourself. When you align with your true flow, you no longer feel discombobulated as you realise that life is always full of currents to navigate and flows to ride; you can let this overwhelm you or you can let it inspire you to live life consciously, vibrantly and with passion...
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