Vibrant and Alive, Honest and Free
Today Neptune stations retrograde in Pisces, beginning a five month period during which boundaries within ourselves will further dissolve. We don’t often think about our inner boundaries. The natural tendency is to consider external ones between us and other people, the ways in which we manage our own personal space and how we interact with the outside world. But during the retrograde cycle of Neptune we can become aware of how we erect boundaries within our own psyches, as a counterpoint to those we erect externally.
These internal boundaries can be harder to spot. Being so close to us we live with them every day without knowing they’re there. Which is why Neptune likes to remind us of their presence from time to time, encouraging us to bring them into the light of awareness. They play a big part in the level of authenticity in our lives, and the better able we are to manage them the more authentic we can be. In this coming five months Neptune particularly focuses upon the barriers we place between our emotions and intuitions, and our choices and behaviour. How often do we feel one thing but fail to honour that feeling and do the other instead? How often do we ignore a wordless inner knowing about something and do what’s ‘expected’ rather than what feels right? How often do we profess a certain belief only for it to go out the window once difficult emotions arise? All of these scenarios point to internal barriers that we have constructed and through which we wriggle uncomfortably in order to live out the different bits of our lives. But Neptune doesn’t want us in different bits. It wants us whole and it is this very wholeness to which it points in the coming months.
When these issues arise we may well focus upon their external manifestation: ‘I find it hard to say no to other people’ we tell ourselves, framing the problem as one of not wanting to hurt others, or not wanting to be disliked. And of course that’s certainly an element of it. But there’s something more going on beneath the surface and it’s beneath the surface Neptune wants to take us now. When we say ‘yes’ but want to say ‘no’ we effectively build a wall around that bit of us that knows this is not the right thing for us. Cue an internal boundary: it can no longer communicate directly with us because we’re shutting it out. A part of us, a living, vibrant, wise part of us, is now in exile. We carry on with our lives, largely oblivious to this fact, but each time we agree when we want to disagree, act when we want to stand back or say nothing when we want to speak up, another bit of us is cast into the darkness. The more we live our lives in this way the more of our psyche and spirit becomes walled off, unavailable to us. Then, when we really need to draw upon our inner wisdom we can’t find it because the walls are too thick and too high.
Neptune wants to bring down these walls now. They won’t come crashing down in a cloud of dust and rubble – that’s not Neptune’s way – but in the coming few months they will begin to crumble, a bit here and a bit there, until we find that saying ‘yes’ when we mean ‘no’ becomes more and more painful to do, and the inner peace that arises from speaking our truth when we must outweighs, by far, the discomfort of any consequences it may attract from the outside world.
Of course, many of us are not used to openly and honestly speaking our truth. It takes practice and we may get it wrong! I know I do: something comes out the wrong way or with the wrong tone, because saying it is so important to me it’s already charged up with all manner of emotion before the words have even seen the light of day! But this is all par for the course, and Neptune is infinitely loving no matter how much of a hash we may feel we made of our big moment! Which is why it’s working away in us now, gradually removing those walls so that, eventually, we have no choice but to be authentic because anything else is akin to removing our oxygen supply.
In the coming five months Neptune is releasing from exile our inner-knowing, the wisdom of the Divine, facilitating a reunion like none we have experienced before, of ourselves with ourselves, into a complete and authentic whole: vibrant and alive, honest and free.
Love, truth and peace for everyone,Sarah Varcas