Transformation through Relationships: How to Find Love in 2011

Note from Selacia: "This New Year message from The Council of 12 provides a guide to relationships in 2011. In their message, The Council speaks about the unique energies of these times, and the impact on relationships. They provide a checklist you can work with now and regularly throughout the year to track your progress with relationships. The Council's message addresses many reader concerns and questions about the often confusing dance of relationships. We welcome your input over the coming weeks. Wishing you a New Year that sparkles with love and joy! 

The year is about to end, and a brand new one is beginning. Consider what kind of year you want to have. Since relationships are a vital component of life, focus on the sort of relationships you would like to create or sustain.

Invite your inner wisdom to speak to you as you contemplate these questions:

· Do you want new people in your life?

· What would your ideal relationships look like?

· Are your current relationships fulfilling?

· If not, why?

· If your relationships are fulfilling, why?

· What relationships cause you distress?

· Why do you feel troubled?

· What relationships catalyze uplifting feelings?

· If you could stand in the shoes of your best friend and view yourself, how would you describe your good qualities?

· Imagine standing in the shoes of a person who frequently causes you to doubt yourself. If you were this person, interacting with you, what would you criticize?

Your answers to these questions will give you insights into yourself and how you relate to others. Your relationships are your biggest transformational catalyst. Think of each as a gift.

Consider returning to this list monthly over the coming year, noticing how your responses have changed or stayed the same. Pay attention to when you continue to have troubles with the same people, and when you have the same types of difficulties with different people. Observing this will help you to spot repeating patterns, and to obtain a big-picture perspective of your relationship skills.

Do Not Relegate Love to the Back Burner

Your relationships are the key to how you will experience transformation in these unprecedented times. If you have relegated love to the back burner, thinking that you are too busy, think again. Love is pivotal to the success of all types of relationships -including romantic partners, family members, friends, coworkers, customer service representatives, and strangers.

Your ability to love, under all kinds of conditions, will determine how well you will cope with the coming chaotic changes.

Why? You live during the greatest reconfiguration of society ever known, and it's global. Wide-reaching changes are under way, impacting every element of how life is lived. How you relate to other people, things, and circumstances will determine your personal experience of the changes.

People relate to others in two basic ways -through love or fear. The second method is the one humanity has learned over thousands of years. It is ingrained in you. You inherited fear-based patterns in your DNA.

The love-sourced way of relating is the one that you were born to remember and master in this life. Love is as natural to you as breathing, for it is a part of your divine essence. Your conditioning, however, left you with amnesia about how to fully express love.

The Crossroads of 2011

The year 2011 will be a crossroads for you and everyone that you meet. It will be another year of reconfiguration, with people on every continent addressing broken systems. There is a big gap between your ideal world and the one that you live in now.

Your task is to join with others in finding ways to close the gap between the existing dysfunctional societal structures and those based on more enlightened ideals. Old-paradigm approaches being updated in this reconfiguration include those involving family life, courtship, friendship, and social networking.

Love is the glue that will anchor the new, light-filled structures in place.

If you are skilled in relating to others in a loving way, and you apply those skills regularly, you will glide over the bumps in your path. This will be crucial in 2011, when the already bumpy ride becomes bumpier as the pace of life quickens.

Discover how to be more loving, and the road ahead will become easier to travel. The need to become more loving is universal. You may be single or married - it makes no difference. Even a single person without family, working alone in a home-based business, will need to develop loving responses to others if he or she wants to find balance in the coming times.

Checklist for Finding Love in 2011

· Are you searching for a new romantic partner? Before looking for this person, first become comfortable with you. Learn to enjoy your own company. Discover how to accept yourself - the good, the bad, and the ugly. Clear up the residue from past hurts by healing unresolved issues with previous partners. Find out how to look deeply within, developing a strong connection with your inner knowing. In that process, you develop more self-trust while learning to get your own answers to life's questions. By doing these things, you can develop the level of self-love needed to bring a new partner into your life.

· Know that finding and creating a new love partnership in today's uncertain times will be a unique experience. Why? Humanity's awakening is accelerating, and as that happens, the approach to relationships is shifting. The entire landscape of relationships is changing - impacting what a relationship looks like, how it starts, and what is acceptable. Examples include how people meet and how transparent they are in the early stages of relationships. Three topics that until recently were relatively taboo during courtship - money, sex, and time - today are coming into conversations in meaningful ways. Couples are talking openly about their values much earlier. There are frank discussions about financial views, for example, that many couples in the previous generation did not have, even after marriage. In recent decades, studies of discordant relationships showed that partners argue most over issues of money, sex, and time. It is a sign of these more transparent times that couples are addressing potentially thorny issues, even during the courtship stage.

· A new love partner could be right around the corner, or even already a part of your life. Do not underestimate the hidden factors involved in manifesting your partner. Remember that there is divine timing to everything. You may feel ready right now to meet your soul mate. You may even feel a sense of urgency to do so, in tandem with having other intense feelings about being alive now. The best way to find your life partner is to live a life that supports your awakening. This involves learning how to share, how to care, how to be intimate, how to let go, and how to simply be.

· Are you happily single? There is nothing wrong with being single during these pivotal moments of time. You do not need to have a partner to become enlightened. You do not need a partner to keep you sane during the great shift in consciousness. You do not need a partner to be happy. If ideas like these come into your head, question them. Investigate the source of your thoughts and feelings. Chances are, ideas like this about being single are not coming from your heart. Your heart knows better. It speaks truth. If you could hear your heart right now, it would remind you of these things. It would tell you that you are alive now to help create new approaches to relationships. Being single is one viable option.

· Are you already in a love relationship? Consider that there is always room to create more love, right where you are. Start with you. Each day you have a choice of how to be with yourself and others. You can choose to love unconditionally, like a mother would do with her son or daughter. The love you generate will radiate out into the world, including the part that you share with your partner. There is no guarantee, of course, that your partner will be more loving simply because you are. Your experience of the relationship will be seen through the eyes of love, though, and this changes everything.

As you continue the journey of discovering your divine nature, we surround you with our love and blessings. We are The Council of 12.

Wishing you love in all of your relationships this next year!--Selacia


COBALT 31st December 2010 12:12 pm

:smitten: "Love is the glue that will anchor the new." Perfection in words! Thanks!!!!

Prosper503935 31st December 2010 1:01 pm

Relationships are not vital. At a heightened spiritual level, your desire's of being in a one on one relationship is severed and you can live a happier life without one. A peaceful bliss doesn't desire that of which it already has. Relationships would hinder that experience.

Abaraxadac 31st December 2010 8:17 pm

They might not be vital, but two generally happy people may find levels of joy together that one alone may perhaps only reach with difficulty. I have been happily single for many years and have no real wish to enter into a relationship right now, but if the opportunity came along, I can see the value in persuing it. There is value in the emotional interaction with others, and one in a peaceful bliss-like state could potentially become more peaceful and blissful. Your reply seems to reflects a desire to avoid the potential of heartache involved in relationships. And if not, then perhaps you are still in the process of finding yourself within, and another emotional attachment would get in the way. However, the micro in your situation need not apply to the macro for all. Just saying....(and I do realize that many channelers do just that, apply something to everyone, but I always take lyrics like that with a grain of salt in the first place.)

Prosper503935 2nd January 2011 2:09 pm

From my simple understanding, when a person has recognized an inner strength, they no longer need another dependency factor. Its not nearly as stable as finding peaceful bliss within yourself. Two people who invest their happiness within each other is not a smart move, as it isn't stable, and can easily be disrupted. Unless both are perfect and balance can never be lost then perhaps relationships are a good thing. But because they aren't and never can be, then it is never a good thing to sacrifice your time, effort, energy and spiritual traits because of a weakness you cannot resolve.

Abaraxadac 2nd January 2011 9:03 pm

I was actually not referring to being dependent on another being in a relationship. I was referring to interaction with a partner. I agree with you, when it comes to relying on another. It is just that if it is understood that each partner does not need the other, and does not in fact rely on that other for their own personal happiness, then any and all interaction between them can only be freely given and received. There would be no expectations because there would be no need or requirement from either side. That does not require perfection. Only individually stable, self-reliant persons. And there is a difference between desiring interaction within a relationship, for the interaction itself(such as sex, or even telling jokes) and needing it because of some feeling of inadequacy or loneliness.


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Selacia is a globally known writer, DNA intuitive healer, spiritual teacher, and the creator of The Divine Changemakers.

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