So often as we make our way through this journey we encounter many illusions set before us as stumbling blocks. We face the challenges of seeing beyond these blocks or walking through them as if they were transparent. Most often we stop to emotionally engage with the circumstance, the individual or just the feeling itself. Our engagement becomes the very substance that brings life to the illusion. Yet everything before us screams for our attention. Our involvement then defines THE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT. How long will we engage, and what is the intensity of the drama that will unfold.
I am speaking of those things by which the matrix/system operates; two of the main catalysts being money and relationships. When faced with deficiencies around these two energy eaters we are drawn in by the pull of its current. We are sucked in and we begin moving in rotation of the vortex. Complete control is lost as we seek to grab on to whatever we can to stop what seems to be an involuntary ride. The momentum most often forces one to the point of critical mass and when this happens desperation sets in and we scramble for dear life. This kind of scrambling will more than likely create off shoots of additional vortexes creating a spiral of challenges.
Fear and desperation become the controllers of one’s life showing you only those options which will ultimately only provide temporary relief while rebirthing an endless cycle of more of the same. Try as you might your ability to stand still becomes virtually impossible as one is overcome by a need to control things on a physical level. Now one might argue that you have meditated on the matter and released it. But did your meditation consist of controlling the process of the outcome, did your release consist of a predetermined process to the outcome. In our minds we face the challenge of relentlessly trying to figure out a plan…going back and forth…telling yourself “ok I am releasing it”. Heading for the point of full surrender is the objective. What does full surrender entail? It entails the surrender of “come what may”, especially when you have done everything in your physical powers. This is the point where you stand still! This is where you let it all go. You won’t die from it but things may change drastically around you.
Why is it happening in this manner? Well perhaps some time ago you had desired your life to unfold with a particular set of results and now everything in your life is being rearranged to build up to that moment. What did you desire? Amazing isn’t it. You will have forgotten many of these things that you have desired yet the people you meet, your change of location, job etc has been leading up to it. Perhaps your desire was for deep spiritual knowledge/awakening you could be in the midst of a drastic shift! I often times hear people say this “I am so ready to know, I am ready to move forward spiritually”, but they are never prepared for the process by which this will unfold. This can be like a drowning man struggling for air; one begins to struggle against the tide of change and panic sets in. “How can I regain control” that’s the question posed by the autopilot self. “I am going down and fast”, but you really aren’t it’s quite the opposite. You are actually rescuing yourself. We seek to hang on to the familiar despite the discomforts previously presented by the familiar.
What happens when your survival skills and instinct nudges you to force your way into choices already recognized as temporary, what can you do, and what will you do? It’s like having a board meeting in your head and fighting against a corporate takeover. You are literally engaged in negotiations with yourself all in your head. Oh the game!! It’s scary, adventurous, maddening and exciting all at the same time. What an adrenalin rush! Talk about getting your money’s worth on this virtual/holographic tour. Oh yeah, your having fun. It’s like you are on a scavenger hunt. It’s damn tiring and at times you just want to get the hell off the tour and ask for your money back! What was I thinking when I signed up for this big, little illusion…just what was I thinking! Yup that’s what you are saying not necessarily in those words but that’s pretty accurate. You do have a few people that do get off the ride one way or another…they come down with mental illness (escapism), suicide, denial, just an assortment of remedies. Well for me none of those are options that fall in line with my ultimate objective of finding my way out from under. Remember the scene in the matrix with Cypher, where he says put me back in! I understand completely why he wanted to be put back into the matrix, and it is the same reason why most people lock into their packaged beliefs and packaged lives. To step outside of the box requires taking responsibility for one’s self and that can be overwhelming. The thought of letting go of secure jobs, relationships, relatives, friends and spiritual beliefs can be like a tornado ripping through one’s mind. Here is an interesting de-ciphering of the name Cypher from the Matrix: Taken from Wikipedia Encyclopedia:
Cypher - Cypher's name may be a reference to ciphering, or encryption, which is commonly done to prevent computer documents and programs from being hacked. Cypher himself is very difficult to understand and his selfishness and treachery is hidden under a facade. The name is also a nod to the hacker subculture, which greatly influenced the first film. Cypher may also be related to Lucifer (Lu-Cypher), the Angelic name of Satan, referring to his actions in rebelling against Morpheus
Although not noted here my explanation of the name Morpheus is a derivative of the word morph- definition: to be transformed or to transform. Morpheus is also the Greek God of Dreams; dreaming is transformational, shifting from one reality, one world to the next. This dream world is all consuming, appearing as the only reality and option. It is the bombardment of relentless emotional engagement with those things which shake our egos, those things which go thump in the night, the fear and programs ingrained in the patterns form which we each create our reality. Patterns stemming from childhood along with already embedded ancestral patterns woven into our consciousness. What would it feel like to just chuck it all…all of the situations that we work so fervently at protecting? Most of these conditions are generally ideals acquired from social expectations and acceptability’s. What if you are struggling just to eat, feed your kids, and keep a roof over your head? What we call the basic necessities of life. Well from my own experience that’s when I got most serious about evoking my will and my right as a creator; as creation itself. Although my understanding had not matured to the level it is at this time something in me knew that I could create and that it was my right to be provided for.
While I was undergoing such experiences as a single mother of two boys caught in deeply turbulent times it was my moment to grow, my moment to show myself who and what I was made of. No it did not all happen smoothly or like a fairytale so in the mean time I had to find ways to meet those needs. In came desperation…my judgment was not always clear but it was what I understood until I could nail more and more of who I am. My children traveled this dusty, rocky road with me and so we must understand that our children are completely on the journey with us. These are souls who decided to take that journey with you and perhaps knock it out the way so that they will not need to explore that road later on in their life. I can tell you that my children now 28 and 25 are vocally thankful for the process. They have an unbelievable understanding of the journey on all levels both physically and spiritually and it marvels me. So allow and honor your children as souls engaging in the journey with you. Co-partnering with you and following your lead.
Now in terms of those moments when you have run out of solutions…STOP…this is where you stand still…this is it right here…the defining moment, make or break, sink or swim. These moments may feel like death, yes it is the dying of the old making way for something new. It sometimes takes a couple of days of going back and forth before you are forced to let go, let it all fall and just know that it’s not that you have given up but you are simply stepping aside to allow the greater part of yourself to see what you don’t and take you through the process. Always remember that the greater part of you has your best interest at heart. These are truly defining moments. Once you let go then follow what you feel…do you feel like taking a long walk, or driving to nowhere special for a short while, do you feel like getting some ice cream, a drink, or perhaps a movie or doing nothing…maybe some music! I have driven up to the mountains or put music on and just danced in my car or in the house…the other day I turned up the music to “Piece of my Love” by Guy/Teddy Riley…yes I listen to whatever moves me at the moment, might be Tupac or Wild Cherry, “Play that Funky music " or Earth Wind and Fire, David Bowie…hey let it all go…that’s how you shake it!! You don’t need to qualify what you are listening to; it doesn’t have to be serene music. This is how we destabilize those particles because you will have stopped observing them!! They have no choice but to shift, remember that you are the one observing your reality, your hologram into existence.
I am all about keeping it simple. Freedom comes from taking the pressure off of yourself, yes you are an aware traveler but who says that you have to do it by any one’s rules. You only have yourself to answer to. You are your own judge and jury and with that said you have a choice as to whether you will sell yourself into someone else’s beliefs. There are indeed forces which exist according to the terms you have established for yourself. You must take conscious ownership of yourself otherwise to say nothing leads to presumption and you become the property of illusionary forces. Stand still so that you can see clearly. The mind will then quiet down allowing you to slow down on creating scenarios that will become more of your demise. Remember that each moment is giving birth to the next moment and in those moments choices are being born. These choices are your chariot to your tomorrow.
This is only a glimpse into “the art of standing still”. There are other methods that may appeal to you; I go with what resonates with me. So although the challenges are staring you in the face stare back at them by standing still. I promise you will find resolve in the silence. My approach to consciousness/spirituality might be slightly different but it’s a lot more fun than all the stuffiness and restrictions! Right now I am going to let it all go and kick up my heals to “Piece of my love”…mmm what will my tomorrow look like …not sure yet but damn the music sounds good!!
©2021 Sonia Barrett