A Note-Worthy Wake Up Call

So out of the blue a guy I had dated six months ago calls me yesterday to tell me how sorry he was for treating me poorly while we were seeing each other. Seems like a nice gesture, right? He goes on to say that now that he’s dating someone else and treats her so much better which made him realize how he could have done much better by me. He wasn’t sure why he behaved so badly toward me since he had really liked me and thought I was such a nice and wonderful person. It felt like a punch in the gut. Why didn’t he feel obliged at the time to treat me good if he had liked me so much?!

My ego said the problem is you’re just too nice! For now on don’t be so open! Once I got past that emotion my higher self said perhaps I don’t need to be so overly accommodating. My inner child craves attention and will accept whatever tidbits she gets. I didn’t grow up with my father and I have the typical “daddy issues” The fear of rejection, fear of abandonment and the tendency to attract men who are emotionally or physically unavailable, who undoubtedly live up to my self fulfilling prophecy! A perplexing cycle that I don’t care to repeat! I have worked diligently on releasing this pattern. I felt that phone call was a message from the Universe.

When I didn’t like the way this guy was treating me I got out of the relationship. We were only dating for a few months so I didn’t let it go on for too long. I know for next time to raise my standards even higher.  Experiencing self love and having self worth is a daily conscious practice. I’ve healed many dysfunctional family dynamics. There are many areas in my life that I am so grateful for, that are fulfilling and rich. Yet, there is this gaping, unhealed wound that I have to let go of and heal within myself.

In this lifetime I have not had the opportunity of experiencing a loving relationship with a man that treated me with love, respect and adoration. It’s something I have been praying for and affirming I will attract.  My dream is to be in a loving romantic relationship with a man that is kind and considerate. Someone I can trust and count on.

I am not going to stop being a nice and open person. That’s what makes me who I am. I enjoy nurturing and showing love to the people I care about. What I do realize is that I do not need to go overboard and be overly accommodating to the point of it not being reciprocal in nature or ignores my own needs. There is a part of me, that wounded inner child, who wants to prove to others that I am worthy and loveable. I go out of my way to win love and approval. I shouldn’t have to work that hard to show my good qualities! They are very evident… as my healthy, rational self can to attest to!

When I am feeling confident and in my divinity I know that I am all that and a bag of chips! Yet, when I am feeling needy of love and attention, the part of me that has unmet needs, allows the ego self to take over and she is hell bent on a quest to prove that she is loveable by bending over backwards and trying too hard to please. I avoid expressing my needs or speaking up until I am overly upset when I don’t like what someone is doing (or not doing!) rather than speaking up and not caring whether I’m rejected or not to get my needs met and be heard.

The message from the Universe came through loud and clear. I reaffirm that I am worthy of love, adoration, and respect. The energies we are in are intense. It’s time to lay claim to our divinity and squash out any lower vibrating aspects of ourselves that may remain. I have worked hard on myself for many years, as many of us on the spiritual path have done. As one layer comes up for healing, thus there is another   that needs tending to. We are entering a profound period where we must be operating from our divinity in order to hold the energy so those who are still battling with their egos can awaken through the major earth shifts and changes that are occurring and finally embrace their divinity. We must be the change we want to see!

It is time to completely let go of old patterns, negative thoughts, and lower vibrating energies that hold us down and hold us back. All the shackles, all the cobwebs, and all the old ways must once and for all be purged. We must know who we really are. We must hold the highest vibrations of self love, self confidence, and self esteem. Our guides and guardians are cheering us on as we anchor in this new energy and really own it, and lay claim to our magnificence.

We are always asking for signs on our path and they sometimes come in unexpected ways. They have a tendency to grab hold of us and shake us awake (into mindfulness). What we choose to do with the messages we receive are up to us. Do we ignore the phone call or use it as a wake up call?

Prayer

Dear God,

There was a time in my life that I undervalued my worth. I didn’t have confidence in myself and therefore I allowed others to treat me with disrespect. I didn’t know any better. Through the years I have learned to set higher standards for myself. I have grown to love and respect myself. Please show me how to stay in my divine power at all times and never give it away to others.

For all the growth I have achieved there are still times when my wounded inner child sabotages my best efforts. Shine your golden light on the places and spaces within me that need healing and fill me with the gentle rays of love and peace.

And so it is.

Amen.

Comments

julie1178 29th September 2011 8:46 am

thank you for sharing your personal thoughts and doing it in such a way that resonated with me personally. I am living this senario at the moment and seem determined, even as my higher self prompts me to leave it alone, to make the man who treats me unacceptably to admit he was wrong. I needed to hear an example outside myself that would resonate the truth behind my persistance to validate my worth. I, too, have worked years on myself-yet still have work to do to heal my inner child from abandonment issues. Thank you-may today be the day that i hold my own hand, love my innocent inner child, and begin the work again-to love myself where i am today-period. Thank you, for inspiring me with your words to go back to work. If not now-when?

julie1178 29th September 2011 8:46 am

thank you for sharing your personal thoughts and doing it in such a way that resonated with me personally. I am living this senario at the moment and seem determined, even as my higher self prompts me to leave it alone, to make the man who treats me unacceptably to admit he was wrong. I needed to hear an example outside myself that would resonate the truth behind my persistance to validate my worth. I, too, have worked years on myself-yet still have work to do to heal my inner child from abandonment issues. Thank you-may today be the day that i hold my own hand, love my innocent inner child, and begin the work again-to love myself where i am today-period. Thank you, for inspiring me with your words to go back to work. If not now-when?

qw33nb33 29th September 2011 12:07 pm

Wow, I have just come out of this very same thing, only it was my mother that I had not felt love from. I found out that I am the one that has to give me that to ....ME. I thought I was supposed to get that love from someone else but I was supposed to find that love for me,from me. All my life I searched and searched for others, to fill that void.
Well, I found it the other day, it was me not loving me, not accepting me, not seeing me, not feeling me. I had ignored my own self. I saw that because I felt the lack of love from my mother. That I was supposed to feel that lack for myself too. I didn't learn to love me,because the lesson I learned from my mother was.....don't love yourself. It's kind of strange but true. I saw that she did not love herself, so I learned to not love MY self. That was the lesson she taught me.
Now, I see, it's MY job to learn to love me. That thing she could not teach because she didn't know how. How could she pass on something she did not know how to do for her own self.
I am to love me, that's MY job now. Thanks for your post!

Ron Laswell 29th September 2011 12:19 pm

Reading this post literally made me start crying. It sounded so much like my own life. The few times I have been in love, I specifically told the woman, "The only thing I can give you is my love." I'm not a corporate type person, and I've never had a high-paying job. I enjoy living simply in nature. Not having access to unlimited financial coffers was a major source of conflict within those past relationships. So, we all have our own inner, self-created conflicts that interfer with expressing our love for another.

Oh, and Julie, by the way...he won't admit that he is wrong. Unless, of course, he can come to a loving awareness within his heart where he can see that Truth within himself.

Stefanie444 29th September 2011 12:39 pm

Julie, it really doesn't matter that he apologies. He was acting unconsciously and he's more than likely still in that space. As long as you don't accept that type of treatment anymore (from him or anyone else!).

That is a major breakthrough realizing you didn't learn to love yourself from your mom and now learning to love yourself. We have a tendency to seek validation outside of ourselves but we must love and approve of ourselves first. We must be mindful to only engage in mutually giving relationships.

Ron, you need to find a woman who has the same values, dreams, and goals as you do. Can't convince someone that the lifestyle you choice is for them. It must be someone who is in the same flow of wanting the same things out of life. Otherwise its a constant push and pull.

As far as receiving the apology. I totally didn't expect it. I have no idea why he realized this 6 months later. I felt really sad that he didn't feel like he wanted to be good to me when we were together. I feel like a wear a shmuck sign on my forehead!! :)

learningtoflow 29th September 2011 9:33 pm

A courageous post Stephanie. Thank you for sharing it. As a Spiritual Life Coach, when I first saw this come across my phone, I thought you were caught up in the drama of it all because I could only see the first paragraph or two.

But I was wrong. You are using the reflection of this experience with a conscious awareness to focus on a greater sense of self-worth. And sharing it shows others how they may accomplish this also.

As I'm typing this, I just now realized why I needed to read this. I am teaching a class on Boundaries next weekend and will use your experience as a teaching moment.

I appreciate that!

Namaste
Jeff Scholl

Satya 30th September 2011 2:05 pm

This is truly, the way of the Master.
Transforming such a painful experience into pearls of wisdom.
Well done Stefanie!
Remember, brothers and sisters, you ARE the love that you seek.
Namaste,
Roberta

Tania 1st October 2011 3:45 am

Well done Stefanie!!
Very coourageous!!
Well done
Love xx

Jarusel 2nd October 2011 2:34 pm

I am humbled with your honesty and integrity. Bless you and may you receive what it is you are seeking one thousand fold
John

Starshine 7th October 2011 6:38 am

I'm experiencing a similar situation with someone who is not respecting or valuing me. Thank you for the very timely reminder to respect myself!

Love & Light
Starshine

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Author Information

Stefanie Miller - A Magical World

Stefanie Miller is a teacher, energy healer, spiritual counselor and an intuitive, channeled writer. She holds a Bachelor's degree in Education and has taught elementary school for over 16 years. Stefanie has been assisting individuals on their spiritual path since 1998.  Facilitating private healing sessions, workshops and through her channeled writing, Stefanie guides individuals toward achieving self mastery by connecting with their Higher Self and Source through a heart centered focus.

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