Being Sensitive

I asked my friend the other day, "When will I ever feel normal?" She looked at me like it was a trick question. Her reply to me was, "Stefanie, you are not "normal" but in a good way, you're special. Being sensitive makes you unique but it is what makes you who you are."

It is becoming more and more challenging to be in busy, noisy places. I have to brace myself for being around lots of people by making time to relax before I go out and time to recoup afterward.

It's frustrating because there are times that I would like to do things, but when I check in energetically I know that my nervous system can't handle the influx of stimuli. I have learned to honor myself by listening to what my being needs. Sometimes my parts don't work as a team, whereas I want to do more, and I think that I should be able to handle it, but in essence energetically I can't push myself, or else I pay for it later with fatigue and imbalance. I accept my strengths and weaknesses. I am learning how to get all of my parts, emotional, mental, spiritual and physical, to work as a team to keep me in balance.

Relationships are delicate to maintain, especially as a sensitive being. It is challenging to be around others without picking up on what they are thinking and feeling. As a highly intuitive person I often know what someone is thinking or feeling before they may even know or realize what they are thinking or feeling. Oftentimes I know things that seem to be common knowledge or seem very obvious, when in fact it may be someone's very personal business that they may, or may not be aware of or willing to share. I have to make a point of shielding myself energetically so that I do not invade their energy field.

I have worked really hard at not overstepping my boundaries without permission. I try to not offer advice or assistance to anyone without them asking for it first. I don't want to intrude. When we give or receive help without having it requested we are not actually helping at all. We are not empowering or helping someone by doing this, although our intentions may be good. We each need to find our own way. We can hold the space for someone else in his or her healing process, and be there when they need us, however, in order for each of us to grow we must each take an active role for it to be authentic and long lasting.

Being sensitive we also tend to absorb other people's energy, which can be draining. We may consciously or unconsciously lift someone's burden or become a sponge for those who unload on us while making themselves feel better. Whether we are in public, in small groups or one on one, we can sense when we are picking up other people's "stuff". I know I am on overload when I begin to get a racing heart, foggy thinking, and a feeling as if I'm being suffocated or my nervous system goes haywire. My five senses begin to become overloaded, surrounding noises becomes magnified, and I can feel myself begin to panic and shut down.

When my nervous system has been maxed out, I find that I cannot concentrate on what someone is saying to me, nor can I make sense when I speak. The television, radio or surrounding noise will rattle me. I have to realize when I have reached my saturation point and have the need to turn inward to re-balance. My stomach will begin to ache, and my neck and shoulders will become very tense. It's funny because before I go into any situation I find my exit strategy if it should become necessary. I will always have my own method of escape. I will keep my money and phone close by and will calculate the maximum amount of time I can handle being in any given situation.

The most tried and true methods of clearing my energy field is by spending plenty of time out in nature, being with my dogs, taking walks, cleansing baths, deep breathing, and spending time in my quiet sanctuary. I am also very fortunate to have good friends that nurture me. If I am out in public with someone I feel safe with I use him or her as a buffer. I am able to utilize the love energy from the people I feel comfortable with as a shield and merge energies with them so that I do not get the full impact of the surrounding stimuli.

Being sensitive I find relationships are more delicate to maintain. I feel we tend to see someone's potential rather than what they are actually capable or willing to give. I find that sensitive's tend to give more than they receive. They are able to discern and perceive what someone's needs may be before it is even asked of them, and will reach out to offer assistance. Sensitive's intuitively know what others are feeling and needing and want to help however they can. The problem is they focus so much on other people and their needs that they neglect their own. At times, it is easier to see into someone else's heart than it is to see into one's own. I don't understand why I can have so much insight into someone else and sometimes have so little clarity into my own! As a sensitive I truly appreciate it when someone can offer the same unconditional love, kindness, tenderness and support that I am willing to offer. We truly need each other.

Sensitive's are often very creative, artistic people. They feel and see things very deeply. They also have a fine appreciation of things, a reverence for life. Many sensitive's are perfectionist. They can see every single angle of a situation and can dissect it with a fine toothcomb. They tend to analyze situations and really delve deeply into their feelings and emotions. I can spend endless hours evaluating something and come up with more insight than anyone could possibly imagine! Sometimes I cannot get myself to shut it off! This is when I know I need to distance myself from a situation so that new awareness and insight can be discovered.

Learning the fine art of letting go is a talent well cultivated by the sensitive being. I have found that it is necessary to know when to release something for the highest good of all concerned. I tend to want to do everything in my power to help people and situations. Sometimes the only way to benefit is by letting go. I don't always know the answers from my limited perspective. When we trust and allow things to be, we can breathe new life into situations that may be burdening us. We can't always fix things. We have to learn how to let things be. My favorite saying is: "It is what it is" once I remind myself of this, I go, "Oh yeah!"

I feel we need to love ourselves for the way we are. I get so frustrated with myself for being so overly sensitive in all ways. This is my true nature and I need to accept it. I want to be healthy, in balance, and happy, so I must nurture my essence. I was reading a story to my second grade students today and discussing with them about loving and accepting themselves for who and what they are and not wanting to try to be someone or something else. I felt a little fairy tap me on my shoulder and wink as she reminded me that I need to take my own advice!

 

Prayer

Dear God,

All the things that are occurring overwhelm me in my life right now. I feel like it is a barrage of so many situations at once! I know that you would never give me more than I can handle. I trust that what is happening is for a reason.

I am very sensitive to all the things that are going on around and within me. I deeply feel the connection between us all. Please cut the cords that are not for my highest and greatest good. Strengthen the cords of love.

Sometimes I feel frustrated that my sensitivities make me more delicate than others. I feel and perceive things so deeply. Please show me how this is a blessing rather than a hindrance. Guide me in finding ways to love and accept myself rather than judging or being embarrassed.

I let go of what is not working in my life to make space for what is to come.

 

And so it is.

Amen.

Comments

Rhiannon 21st February 2009 9:03 am

Thank-you for sharing this, Stephanie!
What you wrote helps many who are VSP..."nurturing your essense" is a valuable tool. A question that I have to ask myself when I am finished with the social "event", no matter what its significance, is: Was it worth it? ...the noise, reading thoughts about yourself and others that are not meant to be public, the overall draining of energy, the depletion and the time it takes to recover. In reading a recent post ,"Shoud 7: Eating the Elephant"- Kuthumi, channeled by Geoffrey Hoppe, I realized that much of what I was shielding myself from was perhaps the uneaten half of the elephant. Now, I have a greater ability to suck up the energy of our group created reality (not so tasty). And I was able to withstand greater amounts of the energy, only to find that I was exposed to the worst flu, ever.(which I still have). I felt and (knew) that someone at a gathering was pretty sick, but there was no obvious reason for me to leave immediately as was my instinct. A lot of circular activity that brings your message even closer to home for me.

Stefanie444 21st February 2009 10:03 am

Hi Rhiannon,

I got that very same flu! It lasted well over a month. Very intense! I feel it is a real clearing of the physical and energetic body but I am sure there is a much more gentle way of clearing!! I totally limit my amount of outward time. I have begun to invite friends over to cook home cooked meals, game night, movie night, early dinner's out before it gets crowded, going to the beach or park where there is more space, and things of this nature. I get to have fun without compromising my well being. xoxo

patricia 21st February 2009 10:14 am

Thank you for sharing! I mirror much of this ... exquisite writing my dear! Lately I have been working on taking care of me as I allowed myself to get plum tuckered burnt out and was tired of living in the bathtub! : )

I've read some interesting things of late that have been very helpful - if called check Judith Orloff - www.drjudithorloff and Susann Taylor Shier - www.soulmastery.com. Another book that may not apply though I found helpful is "Infinite Love & Gratitude" www.infiniteloveandgratitude.com.

Thanks for being you. Thank you for sharing. You and your lovely sensitivity bring much light to this world.

Virginia Fletcher 21st February 2009 11:20 am

Thank you for sharing. I truly believe that your way of "being" is what the future will hold for us. You are here to bridge the way to a new way of living life.

I especially relate to your comment about not interfering with someone else's learning and growth. Think of it as the "ethics" of healing. It is good that you know to step back, and let the situation be. As a Reiki master, I think of offering healing for their highest and best possible good, although we do not directly know how that will come to be. You can visualize the person with a flashlight at their feet and the light pointed away from them. This way they can see clear to their own path, without being outcome oriented that they need a specific healing or path. To me, this is offering unconditional love (which is the ultimate healing) from your highest and best to them for their highest and best good. We all have our own learning to do, yet our learning is intricately intertwined with others.

Do you know how to shield your energy, so as not to pick up the "hitchhikers" from others? There are lots of ways to do this.

michael mayer 21st February 2009 12:08 pm

Dearest Stephanie...beautiful...what you say resonates for me so very personally...the sensitivites, the feelings of fast heartbeat, of loss of focus, of fatigue and physical pains, of being constricted...i will give myself more dedicated time to not fritter the time away but for healing that i may better go about my days...thanks for your love...here's my this and last yrs journal sites and a poem...mike :)

http://one-heart-never-apart.blogspot.com/ and http://the-love-that-we-are.blogspot.com/

It Is What It Is :)

It is what it is
This biz
Of comings and goings
Of perfect parking spots
Then madcap towings
Of rough rides
On steep inclines
Then steady declines
With smooth landings
It is what it is
If we keep in mind
Not to keep so much in mind
Only to experience time
And place
From our heart space
Aware
That evenness not volatility is what powers the sun to shine
That balance is the creative force behind all creation sublime
It is what it is
A phrase
Wishing to depict
Our most spontaneous, vital kind of way

copyright @ 2007 Michael Mayer

k 21st February 2009 12:14 pm

How interesting, your message addresses my thoughts and feelings of last night. I did not make the connection between not feeling "normal" and being sensitive, but I should have because part of what I was feeling was realted to the suffering of a calf I encountered last year. He was injured and was waiting to die when I found him. As I greived, I realized that I am not alone in this feeling. There are many spiritual beings and masters, as well as people who have the same concern and desire for the end of suffering. I found the courage I needed by acknowledging that this is not a solitary issue and I should never think I carry this burden alone and beings with power much greater than mine who have a profound love and compassion are working on this.

Ron L. 21st February 2009 2:18 pm

Well spoken, Stephanie! One quality that I definitely embody as a sensitive is "timelessness." At 60 years of age, most of the people I know find it amazing that I act like a kid. At Tae Kwon Do classes, the other students are amazed that I can do the splits! And like you note, acting like a kid is not appreciated in a close relationship because at social gatherings I tend to speak freely, which can be embarrassing to others.
Since the Eclipses, I've been noticing that my sensitivity has become deeper, more penetrating, and fused. I feel like I'm become more whole and complete unto myself. Even though I don't have a permanent partner right now, it does not feel like an important issue, as there are more important issues that I need to deal with outside of myself. Again, thanks very much for sharing your thoughts and feelings. Ron

Rob 21st February 2009 9:25 pm

Hi.

Im down with the flu also, for like a week or so, difficult to shake off.

Feel like i have more to say, but its difficult to put into words, either way, thanks Stepth ( And eveyone else ) for putting themselves out there, as i feel as you do, not nessacerily through empathy, but more through the journey we share.

Thanks again.

lesha 21st February 2009 10:17 pm

Thanks so much for sharing, I read this at the most opportune time as I had gone out today to get car wash and to Grocery store and as I sat down to eat I suddenly felt depleted of all energy. Mind you, I stay in most of the time as I cannot handle the energies at this time, am sure waiting until my "Being" is filled with light and more Light is here from more People Awakening. I am nearly down to a Hermit's life and it feels truly wonderful most of the time, hoping to find a spot somewhere in the woods and to just "BE" one with nature this year.
Thanks again for your words, you said so many things that resonated with me. Yes, It is what it Is!

Martha, Vt 21st February 2009 10:53 pm

Thank you for writing this, Stephanie, and thank you all for your comments.
I have also just come out of a very intense month-long bout of the flu. I lost 10 pounds and I think that was just the 3D cleansing. My spiritual self feels deeply changed as well. I have more clarity and optimism.

leigh swemmer 22nd February 2009 2:29 am

thank you for sharing this....i find that i am like a sponge that continuosly soaks up others emotions, thoughts etc..to the point that i cannot even workout where mine begin and theirs end...it becomes so overwhelming that i spend many days on an emotional high until i realise that what i am feeling is not my reality but someone else's..when my loved ones experience any form of pain or discomfort i begin to experience the same physically in my body..i am learning though, bit by bit to realise that this is all part of who i am...it is a wonderful gift, but sometimes it can be very hard to cope with...

Lisa Murray - Revive Coaching 22nd February 2009 5:38 am

Thank you Stephanie - lovely insights on how it is to live as a sensitive person. There are two things I have found life-changing (once I realised I was sensitive - took me until I was 40, bit of a slow learner!!)

Firstly: Elaine Aron's book: The Highly Sensitive Person - all of a sudden you realise that your version of normal is perfectly fine (and you don't need to meet other people's definition of perfection or normal!!)

Secondly: There is an Access Consciousness technique where you ask "Is this mine?" If not (and mostly its not!) you can return it to sender, consciousness attached. This is very freeing and I find it especially good for anxiety and body aches and pains. Access has some amazing tools that sensitives respond to very well: www.accessconsciousness.com

I have many clients who are sensitive (I suspect they are attracted to me because I am that way as well) and I find these two ideas are always a great place to start in making life more enjoyable.

cheers
Lisa

Stefanie444 22nd February 2009 11:33 am

I have read the book The Highly Sensitive Person and it gave me invaluable information and confirmation. I am usually able to handle it and protect my energy but after having the flu for over a month and then a few challenges I've been faced wtih, a lot of anxiety, one situation after another. I think when I am going through a healing crisis or dealing with a lot of situations at once I become EXTRA sensitive and can't handle it as when I am energetically strong.

I also feel when we are in relationship with someone, romantic partners, family members, children, close friends we have a direct connection and pick up immediately their frequency when we are tuned in with them. I was seeng someone and I got a lot of his issues and information, stuff he didn't necessarily want me to know or was ready to deal with. Kind of put a damper on getting to know someone when you know the deep rooted stuff, it's hard to pretend you don't and just be on the surface level. It's really not me at all.

Stefanie444 23rd February 2009 6:28 am

I believe this is the path to authentic living and being sensitive....

Cheryl Batoon 23rd February 2009 1:01 pm

Thank you so much Stephanie for I too am a sensitive. I understand the veil is thinning, but I have always been acutely intuitive to others and cannot be in large groups for long periods of time. I do attempt to shield myself, but at times it becomes overbearing. This is a timely article for I must learn to continuously clear and cut the unnecessary cords that bind me to others...your prayer is ideal for this. My intent is to manifest those who are givers as well into my life so I can have some semblance of balance for I do feel so unbalanced most days. Since I'm an optimist, I just pick up and continue moving forward, but those lonely nights when I let it all consume me are pretty agonizing. With the unconditional love of my higher self thru the source God, may I grow, heal, and prosper with a balanced heart...

http://www.inspire.ology.com

dj 2nd March 2009 3:28 am

(((((((((((STEFANIE))))))))))))thank you very much for everything you share.
sencitive very difficuld way.
we learn,we one with (((((GOD))))))((((((ALL)))))))
dj

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Stefanie Miller - A Magical World

Stefanie Miller is a teacher, energy healer, spiritual counselor and an intuitive, channeled writer. She holds a Bachelor's degree in Education and has taught elementary school for over 16 years. Stefanie has been assisting individuals on their spiritual path since 1998.  Facilitating private healing sessions, workshops and through her channeled writing, Stefanie guides individuals toward achieving self mastery by connecting with their Higher Self and Source through a heart centered focus.

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