We have been undergoing a deep excavation process for a long time now. We have looked deep within our hearts and dealt with a lot of things we may have buried for some time. We were bombarded with issues that needed to be handled and resolved. Many of the things we were able to handle were handled; some issues couldn't be resolved due to circumstances. The challenges we couldn't resolve for one reason or another were placed to the side for the time being to be dealt with when the timing is right. We have learned to surrender control, handle what we can, and let go of what we can't.
I'm spending a lot of time alone right now. I am finding it is really important to stay in my own energy field at this time. This year brought a lot of upheaval; I feel I processed a lot of stuff for myself and others. Now is a time for things to settle into place. Things are finding their proper place within me. I am not trying to make anything happen at all. In fact, I am completely at peace and totally detached from the outcome of things. I feel my physical, mental, and emotional bodies have been under so much stress and pressure that it has taken its toll on me. Now I am integrating it all. I can't seem to get enough rest. I am sleeping deeply as if I am cushioned in a deep, plump bed within God's hand.
My only desire is to do nurturing, relaxing, gentle activities. I cannot handle even the slightest bit of harshness at all. I am surrounding myself with gentle things that appeal to me, and doing things that are enjoyable for my soul. I am not reaching out to solve anyone's problems, nor listen to their issues. I just have no desire to be part of it. If I am asked to help someone I decline unless I feel that I really want to. I am not taking care of anyone but myself. I am accepting the nurturance rather than giving it. I feel a slight tinge of guilt. I miss talking to and seeing my friends and loved ones but I just know at a soul level that I need this time for myself. I have to honor this time as sacred and beneficial.
I look forward to spending time with friends and family when it is in alignment with what I want and need at the time. I've surrounded myself with the books and articles I've been meaning to read, the movies I've wanted to see, and spending plenty of time in nature. I take deep rejuvenating naps and make time for quiet contemplation. My dogs and I take moonlight walks, since it is too hot to walk during the day, while listening to my favorite tunes on my iPod. I eat foods that are appealing to me when I feel like eating. I am so grateful and appreciative for this time of retreat.
We communicate through energy. As we are transitioning from the old Earth energy into the new, we are leaving so much of our old self behind. We are no longer attached to our old life story. It's a thing of the past. We no longer have to identify with our issues, challenges, and patterns. There is no reason to talk about or focus on it anymore. In fact, I have lost so many of my old memories. They are just completely wiped out. We have ascended from our old life. The old resentments and pain are no longer in our energy bodies. We don't need to hold unforgiveness toward others; we tend to forget what it was all about pretty quickly since it's not in our energetics. Granted we may not wish to be around certain people for various reasons, but we are not harboring it any longer.
It's funny because when someone says to me, "tell me about yourself" I am at a total loss for words. I cannot put into words who or what I am. You just have to get to know me to discover that. There are no words to tell about one's self. I don't ask others about themselves either. I find that everything I want or need to know about someone is seen and felt in their energetic field. Whatever else I want or need to know I find out as I slowly get to know them. We are creating who and what we are in the now moment. How can we put that into words? We are NOT our story.
I am having a difficult time speaking. I can't seem to find the right word(s) to express myself. Even simple every day words are eluding me! My good friends have learned to step in and add the word(s) as I speak or complete my sentence or thought or they just get what I'm trying to say without having to verbalize it. Half the time it comes out as gibberish! I've come to laugh and joke about it.
God forbid I'm in a discussion or disagreement with someone! I cannot think of a single thing to say or way to express my thoughts or feelings to explain my point or counteract what they are saying. Perhaps hours or days later I can articulate it but in the moment I am rendered utterly speechless! I have had more miscommunications and misunderstandings with others lately than usual. I have further distanced myself to avoid anymore of them! My best way of expressing myself is through the written word, however lately I have had a mild case of writers block, as all I want to do is rest, relax and do what I enjoy!
I have been avoiding talking on the phone or getting into deep discussions with others, in that I don't want to listen to anyone as they share their issues with me since I have a tendency to absorb it. For this time period I'm just keeping to myself. I trust that everyone is handling their own stuff without my input and I can tend to my own needs for now.
My primary form of communication is energetically. I can connect with those I am close with and convey what I am thinking and feeling. I send love and support to those that I am close with since I have been refraining from speaking. I hope they are getting what I send. I have been receiving many messages, love, and support from my loved ones energetically, which keeps me feeling connected, even though I am not physically present with them. There are those that I love and care for deeply that I just can't seem to connect with right now. I know that when the time is right that we will reunite. For now, I send unconditional love and support while staying in my own energetic space and allowing them theirs.
I enjoy spending time with someone when there isn't the need for constant chatter and conversation. I like to speak when I have something to say and listen when someone is really saying something. If I don't have what to talk about I would prefer to be quiet or just joke around or listen to music. I don't have the desire to keep up pretenses. There is nothing like being at ease and have a certain level of comfort with someone, enjoying their company, with ease and peace, not being required to make small talk. It's the greatest!
I shy away from being in situations where I am obligated to make small talk or have to be "on". I am just not in the mood! I'm also finding being with others I'm picking up their energy, and reading their thoughts and feelings. Frankly I just don't want to be burdened with other people's "stuff" regardless if it's a stranger or loved one! Sorry, but right now it's all about me!
We are learning to take back our power and take care of ourselves. Many of us have been so busy helping others that we have disregarded our own needs. Now is a time of claiming our own inner peace. It is a time of integrating all the hard work we've done by nurturing ourselves, getting plenty of rest and doing what is good and right for our soul.
We are discovering how to work with energy...the energy around and within us. In the new Earth energy we have left all the old stuff behind us and we can reach higher plateaus with so much less. We are learning how to use the controls; volume, picture, clarity, and color to raise and lower the frequencies on what we are giving and receiving so that they are in balance and harmony.
I've been listening to The Who a bunch lately... "I Can See for Miles and Miles..." Truly we are expanding in ways we cannot yet fathom. We don't know what is yet to come, however, if we can let go and just enjoy the pleasures and sanctity of this time we will ease into the new all the more fully.
I am enjoying my time with myself.
It brings me closer to You, sweet Spirit.
As I rest I can feel You.
As I let go of how things will turn out I give You room to transform my life.
I allow communication to flow through me. May I say what I need to say with love. May I hear listen with an open heart. May I hear You in the quiet moments.
I am at peace knowing You are taking care of everything.
I allow my life to unfold in a most magnificent way.
Thank you. I feel so blessed.
And so it is.