Still Standing But Barely Breathing

When I was going through a period that I would describe as one of the darkest nights of my soul, I was overwhelmed by the cascade of events, each one more challenging than the one before, that seemed to appear out of nowhere, on an almost daily basis. I knew that this was a mistake, that this was not my life and certainly not something I had volunteered for on any level.

The only way I could see to end the misery was to ask God to take me away. So every night, when I went to bed, I thanked God for the opportunities I had in this life, hoped that I had done some good in my life and asked God to please take me home. Then every morning I would open my eyes and say "Damn it, I'm still here."

Now I didn't do this once or twice, I did it for six straight months. And I would be so disappointed that each day I was still around to face the issues that seemed to have no resolution. I was still standing, but barely breathing. I still had my life but I was no longer involved in it. Overwhelmed with my problems, I had not really given up, I was just stuck in the cycle of what seemed to be endless problems, not realizing that I was at the source of this endless spiral of misery. How would this cycle end? When I started breathing new life into my sleeping existence.

I started breathing again and didn't happen overnight but through a series of events that forced me to start looking at my life from a different perspective and to consider other options. And as I did, other doorways opened up and things started improving, slowly at first and then quite rapidly. In less than six months I had a new job with a great salary, moved into a new home and began measuring my life in terms of how fast I was moving instead of worrying that I was going to stand still forever.

When life gets really bad, and many of you know what that is like, we can become the 'walking dead.' We're still alive and standing, but we are not breathing any new energy into our lives. We can't because we don't know where the energy is going to come from and are so grounded in our unhappiness and despair that we can't even figure out how or where to begin. Everywhere we turn we are reminded of the mess our life has become. Will it change and can we change it?

We look for help from others until the truth stares us in the face -- no one can really help until we find the will within ourselves to create the spark that will shift our energy. And we're engaged in a battle with our dark feelings and thoughts at one end, and faith and trust at the other. Which side will win?

At that moment we have two choices, we can fall farther into despair or wake up and realize that everything really is in our control. Once we start moving the energy things can happen very quickly, as they did for me. But getting to that point, from the place where we are drowning in darkness, can feel very scary and lonely. Where is this spark going to come from? It has three sources: our thoughts, feelings and faith.

Are you going through a dark night of the soul? Have you stopped breathing and even though you are still standing. Are you standing still, hoping that if you can wait long enough the worst will be over soon so you can figure out what to do next? Are you so overwhelmed by what you are going through or have gone through that you are looking at the past and forgetting that you need to live in the present moment to create conscious change in your life?

What will it take for you to breathe a new spark into your life? What happens if you change one thought about your situation? Just pick one, Instead of trying to figure out how you can change everything (and get more overwhelmed), is there one thing you can change in your thinking that will create an opening for the change you are hoping for to come?

What is one thing you can change about the way you feel that will help you get control over your emotions so you stop spiraling into despair? Can you replace one hopeless feeling with faith, even if you do not have any reason to believe (from the results you have had until that moment) that anything will happen differently? We can't tell the Universe to show us the results before we are willing to put our faith to work. But if we change our thoughts, which changes the energy, set a new intention and have faith that it will happen, we can start waking up and breathing new life into our reality and start living again.

Stay calm, focused, detached and aware and remember your thoughts are creating every moment of your life. Think the best ones.

As you ponder this and the other things that are happening at this time remember to:

Accept all gifts of understanding with gratitude and use them to apply forgiveness, release and healing to every situation.
Ask for guidance and confirmation and then wait for it to come to you.

 Above all, be grateful for this opportunity to be part of humanity's amazing shift in consciousness as we all ascend into the miracle vibration.

Many blessings in these miraculous and amazing times,

Jennifer Hoffman


neva 20th October 2010 7:35 am

Jennifer: God bless you for having the courage to talk about the dark night experiences. I, too, have laid in bed asking to go home, night after night. In fact, I'm going thru a lighter dark night right now. The changes, the fast flowing river of 2012, seems so fast to me that I feel left behind in many ways. I feel as if I'm flotsam on the water sometimes; though I know this is illusion. And, as you say so well, the present moment is where we have to stay, releasing our past and projections of future and being here now, even when it feels like the Now is a stuck moment.

angelk 20th October 2010 7:41 am

I have been there myself in the past two years and feel that the energy HAS changed now and I'm beginning to live the results of this positive change. Thank you for this message is exactly what I needed today. Bless you for being the messenger. Namaste,

poetic555 20th October 2010 8:43 am

Thank you Jennifer, I needed this a month or so ago as I too went through the darkest days of my life so far but just as you wrote, only my faith sustained and by the Grace of God I'm still here. I was feeling low today and this has lifted my spirts a lot. "As a Man Thinkith so is he."

mifasolasi 20th October 2010 6:31 pm

I am sure I was not alone when tragic events were comming almost every moment in my life since 13th of May until the first days of August when The wise Universe pushed me to release everything, to transform the pain of loosing a young brother and to transform illness to health.. these two events are two among unmeasured others happened with unbelivable speed of time.. I did not lost my faith.. it is strange but I did not, I felt like watching everything around as not a living person, deeply inside I knew that something was comming to help me to live again.. I desperately needed and was asking to stay on the planet.. Now I know why
Illness became my best friend to recognise the deeper lesson of the challnges and the message " love yourself " take care" of yourself.. it was like a hit on the shoulder, it pushed me to release stuck issues..
black hole is the entrance to the Light, if you have faith and be patient for the next sunrise, you win, but you have to work deeply to see the brightness of the Light and the very personal new day's colours
Love and Big hug Jen
M :smitten

Dakota 20th October 2010 8:37 pm

Jennifer, I find your channels very healing and informative. This one doesn't relate to me so much but I have friends who would relate to this channel, and of course I have forwarded. Thank you for your messages and your courage to write about your own misfortunes. Much love, Dakota

bluestflame 20th October 2010 10:46 pm

in the shared breath , the shared release , breathing for the ones that need a little inspiration

Olidia 25th October 2010 5:31 am

My dearest Jennifer . .
you know always when the time is right messages coming through . .as it always is . .IN DIVINE ORDER!!!

Had tears in my eyes when I read your message. Read it yesterday on my b-day . .and guess what . . IT IS SO TRUE!!!
As long there is movement and yes breathing!!
I am finding it amazing, how the selfs starting to manipulate the decision and to keep us back in the dark, in the dense.

I do hope that this message was the last invitation and the kick in my back side to get me going!!
As I feel in my heart what I need to do . . . .

Love and light and lightness.

lulu 7th December 2010 4:26 pm

I can definately relate to the author of wanting to go home. This experience will do it to you. There were times when I used to cry great tears and begging God to take me. My suffering got so severe and I was overcome with rage, sadness, grief and complete hopelessness. I suddenly lost interest in being in this world and around people. With all the hell I have been through I am actually scared to live again. I am suffering with acute anxiety now but I know I must trust in God. Every day that he allows me to be here I must trust in him.


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Uriel Heals

Uriel Heals

The Archangel Uriel is here to help humanity through the Shift in Consciousness by interacting with us as we shift into higher dimensions of consciousness. Uriel, one of the seven Archangels that stand at the throne of the Creator, is known as the "Light of God" and governs the Mental Plane.

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